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Original poster

Dreading Monday and the coming weeks

85 replies

bloodywhitecat · 24/10/2020 15:56

DP needs major surgery on Monday, he has pancreatic cancer (or possibly bile duct cancer, they can't tell where the cancer started yet). He's having a Whipple's procedure to try to remove what they can but even then his long term chances aren't the best. I am scared they will open him up and find they can't do what they want to do. I am scared he will die. I am scared. I am scared COVID will cancel his surgery. On Monday I get to drop him off at the doors to the ward not knowing when I will see him again, how well he'll be. I don't even know how I will know he's out of surgery because no-one has told us if I have to call them or if they'll call me. I won't be able to visit much because he'll be over 90 minutes away and we have two small babies living with us at the moment so even if DP was more local visiting would be tricky. I wish we could stay on Saturday, he looks so well, he feels so well, no-one could tell he has cancer but without the surgery we've been told he has a year, max.

Life wasn't supposed to be this way. This wasn't in our plan.

OP posts:
Ieatmarmite · 27/10/2020 11:39

Sending love and hugs to you and your family. I had a whipple operation last year for a malignant tumor in my ampulla of Vater (the tube where bile duct and pancreatic duct join). It's a tough thing to go through - I get lots of support and advice from the facebook group UK WHIPPLE WARRIORS, which welcomes families of those who've had this surgery. There are some very experienced and knowledgeable people in the group.

You must be worried sick about your husband. What hospital has he had his surgery in? Please take care of yourself and feel free to DM me if you want to talk/have questions etc.

Original poster
bloodywhitecat · 27/10/2020 12:08

@Ieatmarmite

Sending love and hugs to you and your family. I had a whipple operation last year for a malignant tumor in my ampulla of Vater (the tube where bile duct and pancreatic duct join). It's a tough thing to go through - I get lots of support and advice from the facebook group UK WHIPPLE WARRIORS, which welcomes families of those who've had this surgery. There are some very experienced and knowledgeable people in the group.

You must be worried sick about your husband. What hospital has he had his surgery in? Please take care of yourself and feel free to DM me if you want to talk/have questions etc.

Thank you, he's in Addenbrookes. He's having trouble with his breathing at the moment so is still in the Intensive Recovery Unit. I don't think he really grasped how unwell he would feel after surgery, he thought he'd be back at work in 6 weeks but I can't see it happening.
OP posts:
FlatandFabulous · 28/10/2020 05:13

Cancer is a bitch, unfortunately spoken from experience. I hope you have the support you need and will pray that the liver biopsy comes back clear.

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FreshfieldsGal · 28/10/2020 05:27

Sending love and prayers op that biopsy results are OK. Flowers

Ieatmarmite · 28/10/2020 10:24

Hi OP. I hope your hubby is starting to recover well from his op.

When I saw the Consultant before my surgery she said expect a day in IRU, 5 to 7 days on the ward then home. Yeh, right...... I was 5 days in IRU and then 3 weeks on the ward. But then, I know from the Whipple Warriors Facebook group, that for some people it is a day in IRU then a few days on a ward, then home. Others are in hospital for many weeks. I went home unable to walk more than 10 yards & still with drains in because my pancreas didn't want to heal up. I was back in hospital a week later, for another month so there's no way I could have been back at work in 6 weeks. But then I know of others who've had a Whipple and do get back to work quite quickly.

It all seems so variable which is what makes it difficult both as a patient and, I imagine, loved ones trying to support their recovery. Anyway, I hope today is a good one for you and all the news you hear about your DH is good.

Original poster
bloodywhitecat · 28/10/2020 10:41

@Ieatmarmite I must admit I have heard more experiences like yours than stories of swift recoveries, he is drinking juice and tea today and has just managed 3 laps of IRU. He is supposed to move to the ward today, if there is a bed, I hope there is because then maybe I can visit him.

No news on the biopsies yet, but it is good to hear him feeling positive and able to drink.

OP posts:
TheAdventuresoftheWishingChair · 28/10/2020 14:45

I just wanted to drop by and hold your hand virtually. You are doing SO WELL even if it doesn't feel like this. No one could be coping with this. I'm very glad he could drink something. I hope he's being well looked after. I hope you are taking care of yourself too with something nice to eat or drink.

Original poster
bloodywhitecat · 28/10/2020 19:34

He's been able to drink juice and tea today and this evening he's had soup!

He's on a ward now which means I can visit tomorrow.

Biopsy results tomorrow, I sense impending doom on that one.

OP posts:
Goldistheanswer · 28/10/2020 19:35

I was thinking of you, OP, and your husband. I’m glad that he’s managed some fluids today. You must be mentally exhausted with the stress and worry. Do you have people around you to look after you? I hope you are able to visit your DH soon. 💐

Original poster
bloodywhitecat · 28/10/2020 20:49

I have to self isolate if I want to be able to visit, my daughter went home yesterday (she had been supporting me with childcare) so I am now on my own with the babies and the dog. Thankfully I can go out for exercise so I am allowed out of these four walls once a day but it is tough when the only conversation I have had in 24 hours is "Ga, ga, ga EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" (he's 11 months and delighted that he can squeal).

OP posts:
Mynxie · 28/10/2020 21:45

Hope you manage to get some sleep tonight. Whatever happens tomorrow cannot be changed however much you worry though it’s easier said than done I know. I really hope tomorrow will be a much better day than you expect.

musicposy · 28/10/2020 23:50

Thinking of you tomorrow with the biopsy result. Good news that he’s on a ward and having juice and soup. Hope you get at least some rest tonight.

HibiscusNell · 29/10/2020 00:33

Hope Everything goes well tomorrow. 💐

Giraffey1 · 29/10/2020 00:38

That sounds so much for you all deal with. Sending vibes for tomorrow x

Original poster
bloodywhitecat · 29/10/2020 20:23

No results today. His stomach isn't draining so although he is able to eat soup and yogurts he's not gaining anything from them so tomorrow they are inserting a PICC line so he can be fed that way. I have promised to smuggle him in a barrel of beer on Saturday if he gets his stomach working before then. He is a man who likes a challenge.

OP posts:
Bloodybridget · 30/10/2020 08:38

@bloodywhitecat just popping in to say your DH has made good progress already to get onto a ward and be able to eat and drink, although it's a shame he has to have IV nutrition. Wishing you both a good day today.

Original poster
bloodywhitecat · 30/10/2020 21:25

So today the PICC line went in and today his stomach started draining (it must've been the thought of the beer my DD promised him I'd smuggle in Wink ). His cannula, central line and catheter came out today and he is now able to fart (who'd have thought farting could be so exciting). Things are moving in the right direction, no biopsy results yet and I am sure our world will come crashing back down once they're in.

OP posts:
Rae36 · 31/10/2020 08:05

Sending love to your family. Sorry I can't send anything more useful

JustDavesWife · 02/11/2020 14:22

@bloodywhitecat how did your weekend go? Have you had the biopsy results back yet? I hope your dh is feeling a bit better now he has the PICC line. x

Original poster
bloodywhitecat · 02/11/2020 19:39

@JustDavesWife No biopsy results yet, DP needs to wash his ears out the surgeon said a couple of weeks for reports not a couple of days Grin.

He's done amazingly well. One week on from surgery and he is now tube and drain free, he is off TPN and off the syringe driver for pain. He's on oral meds and soft foods, the physio has said he's fit for discharge and he's bored stiff (always a good sign I think). I spent the weekend at my daughter's as she lives closer to the hospital and could mind the fosterlings for me while I visited him. Thank you for asking.

OP posts:
Candleabra · 02/11/2020 21:55

That's great news. I hope you are bearing up ok. Look after yourself, which is not easy when you're busy looking after everyone else. Take care.

JustDavesWife · 09/11/2020 18:54

@bloodywhitecat sorry for the delay in replying! That's great news about the tube and drain. Has he been discharged now? x

Original poster
bloodywhitecat · 10/11/2020 19:36

@JustDavesWife He came home on day 11, he's doing well but we found out today that it is in his liver too.

OP posts:
petalpower · 10/11/2020 20:24

I was only thinking about you earlier today @bloodywhitecat and wondering how your DP was doing. Sorry to hear that it has spread to his liver. Flowers

Daisychainsandglitter · 10/11/2020 20:51

I'm so sorry to here Bloodywhitecat. I've been thinking of you and your DP. So sorry to hear it isn't good newsThanks

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