Dreading Monday and the coming weeks

[bloodywhitecat]

DP needs major surgery on Monday, he has pancreatic cancer (or possibly bile duct cancer, they can't tell where the cancer started yet). He's having a Whipple's procedure to try to remove what they can but even then his long term chances aren't the best. I am scared they will open him up and find they can't do what they want to do. I am scared he will die. I am scared. I am scared COVID will cancel his surgery. On Monday I get to drop him off at the doors to the ward not knowing when I will see him again, how well he'll be. I don't even know how I will know he's out of surgery because no-one has told us if I have to call them or if they'll call me. I won't be able to visit much because he'll be over 90 minutes away and we have two small babies living with us at the moment so even if DP was more local visiting would be tricky. I wish we could stay on Saturday, he looks so well, he feels so well, no-one could tell he has cancer but without the surgery we've been told he has a year, max.

Life wasn't supposed to be this way. This wasn't in our plan.

I think I am just broken. Every time I think positively something else comes along, he is a good man, he does not deserve this but them no-one ever does.

Offering a hand hold

So sorry op, you are in my thoughts

Another one offering a hand hold and keeping my fingers crossed for the biopsy.

We're here op if you need us. Keep talking on here if it helps.

He's just messaged me which is more than I was expecting tonight, he seems so OK but no-one has mentioned the liver nodule to him so I haven't either. As it was I was the one who broke the news to him that he has pancreatic/bile duct cancer, I don't want to be that person again. At least he was well enough for a brief chat.

Thinking of you and your partner

I've seen your other threads, I'm always thinking of you OP

Thinking of you tonight may your dear husband be well soon and may you have hope

Thinking of you and your family

Sending you lots of love OP

Thinking of you all op x

Sending you and your dh my best wishes.

Thinking of you

Thinking of you

Also thinking of you

@bloodywhitecat thinking of you and DH

Thinking of you and DH and praying for a good result for the biopsy

I've been following your threads, OP and I am sincerely thinking of you. My brother had an almost exact same experience as your DH. I remember your initial thread about his jaundice and I hoped to heavens it wasn't going to be the outcome that it now is. My brother had his whipples 3 years ago next month. Please feel free to PM me. I've walked this walk and if I can be a friend to you, lean on in.

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

Sending you strength and

Another one thinking of you both and sending very best wishes

I don't think I can do this any more. Just spoken to him and he sounds so, so not like him. I am scared. My daughter is here but has been struck by a horrendous migraine, the vets have cancelled the dog's annual booster (and I only made the appointment yesterday as I knew DD would be here today to mind the boys while I take the dog to the vets). No-one has spoken to DP about the nodule in his liver yet so he doesn't even know it's there. I am beyond breaking point.