The most insensitive comment youve heard?

[pallyfally]

A year ago today, my then DP of 4 years told me I was pathetic for crying when I had a very early miscarriage. I left soon after but it hurt me in a way I can’t really remember now but know at the time I was flooded with pain by his comment.

A friend of mine had just finalised her divorce and we had gone for a girl lunch with three others. One of our friends said ‘what’s it like being back on the shelf and knowing you won’t be coming back down?’ Friend was 35 at the time, she was so upset.

Just got me thinking how awful people can be sometimes. I think it says a lot more about them and how they are feeling than the person the comments are directed at. Still shocking and shit though!

[LuckyAmy1986]

'It doesn't matter what age you lose your mum, it's just as hard no matter how old you are'

[PurpleDaisies]

Anything that starts with “at least...”

[Pellewsmate]

My MIL when my BIL's (her DS) girlfriend miscarried a much wanted baby "Were they expecting it to be a bridesmaid?"

MIL is very old fashioned and expects marriage first, children second, which considering she only hooked FIL by becoming pregnant makes her a hypocrite IMO.

[peakygal]

The morning after DH had died, MIL (yes DHs DM) told me "You're young, you'll marry someone else"

[Oldraver]

@PurpleDaisies

Anything that starts with “at least...”

I'd also add , "I'm not being funny, but "

Woman who lived below me who had been TTC for a few months, after hearing of my neo-natal death


At least you know you can get pregnant

[PatchworkElmer]

My friend, commenting on my Mim having breast cancer- “well, at least it’s a fashionable kind of cancer...”

Yeah, I feel loads better about my Mum being seriously ill because I can buy a T-Shirt with a pink ribbon on it 🙄🙄🙄

[IEat]

My mother to me at 14, I was going shopping and she said I don't know why your brushing your hair who's going to look at you.

Her again, me at 35 suffered depression for years by then and I had 1 dc and when I told her she replied... I had four of you to bring up by myself you never heard me complaining.

[Bellie99]

ExMiL just after I had had ectopic pregnancy with emergency removal of Fallopian tube "well how are you after your mishap? It was a silly thing to do wasn't it?"

[GingerBeverage]

Too many to remember them all. But I'll never forget a horrible girl in high school who asked me if my dad's hair had fallen out yet. He was having chemo for cancer, and died 3 years later.

My only comfort is that her parents were in Amway, which should be punishment enough.

[Knittedfairies]

At the funeral of a young boy who had profound disabilities. His father's boss ( a professional man) said 'I'm not sure why he's so upset; xxx wasn't a real son anyway'.

[madnessitellyou]

My dm: One day, I'm sure someone will find you attractive.

I was 16 and zero self-esteem caused by my dm putting me down all the time, calling me fat, not allowing me to have nice clothes on account of my size and constantly complaining about the standard of my school work (if i wasn't top of the class - sometimes I was - at all times there was trouble. Even now she goes on about my weight (I'm been slimmer but I'm nowhere near fat) and thinks that the standard of my education was substandard, and I'm thick. I have three degrees...

[JustGetThroughTheDay]

I'm only halfway through these and I've been sat with my mouth open in shock at them.
To all those women who were told a c-section meant they haven't given birth. You did. You birthed that baby from your body regardless of which route it took. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a complete twat. Likewise anyone who said it was the easy option. I've not had one and even I can see it's in no way an easy option and often isn't an option at all. Fuckers.

[ParisianLady]

Certainly not as upsetting as others. But I was disagreeing with someone who I thought was a friend on a random topic, and she turned to me and viciously said 'but I had thought you were intelligent'

It has soured the entire friendship for me. I'd happily not see her again.

[AlrightBabby]

Colleague to a 15 year old customer in the bank where we worked; 'but you're such a lucky girl having all this money in the bank' - the girls dad had shot her mother and her mother's boyfriend before turning the gun on himself, the money was the estate and my colleague knew that 😢

[ItallwentwrongwhenBowieleft]

Went to see GP when I was struggling after my beloved sister died at 35 after a long illness.
GP dismissed my distress & said ‘well it’s not like you didn’t know she was going to die’

[ArsenicNLace]

I was raped by a man who had broken into the house. I awoke to see a masked man walking into my room brandishing a knife.

My mother's 'helpful' comment, 'Well you were sleeping naked. He must have seen you and couldn't help himself'.

I have never slept naked since and that was 30 years ago.

[Bluntness100]

GPs, yes they are a joy.

I was feeling really tired once and went to thr gp, he was close to retirement and had a student gp with him, I explained the issues and he told me there was nothing wrong with me and I’d feel better if I “got all the weight off”

I am five eight and was just under eleven stone, size twelve. I looked at him in absolute shock and rhe female trainee did the same. Then we both locked eyes sort of stunned, neither of us challenged him. It was just so unexpected. I just kinda slinked out of there.

Fortunately I’m quite resilient so put it down to him being a serious tosser, but if I wasn’t it could have sent me spiralling.

[Mynamenotaccepted]

When our adopted son died colleague said to DH well it's not like losing one of own!

[JustGetThroughTheDay]

@madnessitellyou

My dm: One day, I'm sure someone will find you attractive.

I was 16 and zero self-esteem caused by my dm putting me down all the time, calling me fat, not allowing me to have nice clothes on account of my size and constantly complaining about the standard of my school work (if i wasn't top of the class - sometimes I was - at all times there was trouble. Even now she goes on about my weight (I'm been slimmer but I'm nowhere near fat) and thinks that the standard of my education was substandard, and I'm thick. I have three degrees...

I had similar. When I was 13 and a size 10 my mother said to me 'if you lost some weight you might get yourself a boyfriend'
As if having a boyfriend was the only goal I should have

[portocristo]

After a miscarriage a friend said well at least you can have a fag and a drink now 😮

[firstimemamma]

@ArsenicNLace I've read almost all of this thread and your comment has just really shocked me. I'm so truly sorry for what you've been through.

[StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes]

Laid on the scan table at 12 weeks after having bleeding and the sonographer first asking me why i thought i was pregnant and followed this up with well if you were you aren't now. Hemorrhaged that night and was blue lighted to hospital for a d&c in a ward full of pregnant women trying to hang on to their babies through various difficulties, after the op i was coming back along the ward to be met by the surgeon who said hi just to tell you we evacuated the retained products of conception so you were pregnant, on the ward in front of everyone, not even the curtesy of by my bed behind a curtain! The whole thing was a horrific experience as it was a second MC and gp had been injecting me every week with something to ensure i got past 12 weeks, i had so much hope but looking back (27 years ago) i have no idea why he did so

[Cosyjimjamsforautumn]

DH had been for a scan and then received an appointment letter to see a urosurgeon. We turned up for the appointment and pompous surgeon said to DH whilst reading the notes (with no preamble and in a cross voice) "well i dont know why you've been sent to see me. Waste of my time. You have inoperable cancer."
We had absolutely no inkling and were devastated. I dont remember driving us home afterwards.
I dont know when he went to medical school but he obviously skipped the class on how to sensitively deliver bad news to patients
Thankfully we got a referral for second opinion to another surgeon (with a much better bedside manner) who successfully operated and DH is well 8 years later.

[LaMadrilena]

Nothing like as horrible as some of these experiences, but my GP, after signing me off work for stress and prescribing me various anxiolitics and antidepressants, asked me and my DH (who was there because I could speak for tears and panic), "So, when are you going to have kids? Can't leave it too long..."

[FireUnderpants]

A few years ago at a party of one of DSs school friends I had just given him his insulin for the party food (type 1 diabetic). All his class were used to seeing him check his blood glucose and dose for food and didn't bat an eyelid. One of the parents did a big 'omg that's disgusting' and marched over and told me that 'they' can reverse it and did I know.

Because obviously I would never have thought to check before subjecting a small child to 6+ injections a day.

I was literally speechless. Thank god someone else noticed my what the fuck face and explained type 1 is totally incurable and to have a Google before making stupid comments.

Later that night I had a very upset 4yr old after he asked if Daisy's mum was right and he wouldn't need to keep being poked. I broke his little heart telling him it'll never end.

I still think Daisys mum is a total cunt.