The most insensitive comment youve heard?

[pallyfally]

A year ago today, my then DP of 4 years told me I was pathetic for crying when I had a very early miscarriage. I left soon after but it hurt me in a way I can’t really remember now but know at the time I was flooded with pain by his comment.

A friend of mine had just finalised her divorce and we had gone for a girl lunch with three others. One of our friends said ‘what’s it like being back on the shelf and knowing you won’t be coming back down?’ Friend was 35 at the time, she was so upset.

Just got me thinking how awful people can be sometimes. I think it says a lot more about them and how they are feeling than the person the comments are directed at. Still shocking and shit though!

[SentientAndCognisant]

I shudder reading these, gross and Insensitive comments
Much hugs to you all, you deserve better but got this crap

[WhodidyousayIshouldbe]

@NeverAMillionMilesAway no worries I’m sad there are so many thoughtless people around who don’t seem to have a care for the impact of their words! for you

[Catra]

And another one...

After two miscarriages and a stillbirth, I gave birth to my daughter at 26 weeks gestation, following a fraught 3-week hospital stay with broken waters. As she was put on a ventilator and whisked away to neonatal intensive care, the first person I called with the news (my legs still in stirrups on the labour suite) was my mum. Her first question: Does this child have name? I told her the name and her response was: Ugh, that's hideous, I won't call her that, I'll call her X (entirely different name). Cheers, Mum ...

[pashola]

Just realised mine all seem to be body/pregnancy related. They're also quite minor compared to others in here 🙁

When I was in early pregnancy and my skin was having breakouts, my mum told me that I "look like a meth addict"

When I was 40weeks pregnant with my first (for context I'm also only 150cm tall) a family friend told me "you're huge and not just normal big, you're like the size of a fucking house"

Once I was sitting, slightly leaning over in tight jeans so had a bit of a roll over the top of my pants, and I'm quite a slim person (size 4/6) my uncle leaned over, grabbed the roll of fat in his hands, wobbled it and declared in front of everyone "what do you fucking call this Jane, you need to lose a bit"

[supersplodge]

This actually wasn't hurtful because I didn't give a stuff, and was just really grateful to be having twins after infertility and IVF etc. But I was a little taken aback when discussing birth plans with my consultant, and the possibility of a caesarean (I think because they're more common with twins, can't remember the context), he said - "as you didn't conceive naturally I expect you'd like to give birth naturally, wouldn't you?"

I mean - WTAF????

Actually, I did end up with a C section and don't think it made any difference to anything, but some people might have felt strongly (as PPs have mentioned....) or been very upset. I was just thrilled to have two lovely DCs, by whatever means!

[creaturcomforts]

A colleague tragically died when saying to another colleague how sad it was and still in shock, she replied that it didn't affect her at all as she hadn't been working there long and she didn't know her. I just found this heartless.

[alexdgr8]

i was telling a colleague who had a secular jewish background that an elderly jewish lady mistook me for being jewish.
i was touched by this as it was in the context of helping the old lady with carrying her shopping.
as i told colleague this she said, yes, i can see why she might say that.
and i expected to be commended for my good deeds.
she went on, yes, there's a very plain sect. she probably thought you were one of those.

[PeaPeaEeByGum]

My husband after my traumatic second birth, his father was staying with us and I really wanted him to leave so that I could deal with breastfeeding, needing to take a jug of water to the loo, the after effects of what I’d been through with privacy. I was pleading with him to ask his dad to leave and he told me ‘stop being such a victim’.

I’ve been strong pretty much my whole life, carried my family and siblings through difficult times. I am the strong one. But when I needed him he dismissed me. We are divorcing now.

[London91]

When I told my family I was pregnant with dd a male relative said 'congratulations, I didn't know Mr. London had it in him.

After 3 mcs and surgery for endo.

[Blueberries0112]

My mom thanking me for coming to my grandma’s (my dad’s side) funeral . She is my grandma, why I wouldn’t go? She did it because she was always asking me to go to some of my extended family’s funeral who I never met. I suppose I could go for my mom’s sake but I had to work

[Dreading2020sSeasonFinale]

Pretty much all the comments from MIL when we lost our baby. 11 years on and MIL still said them on the anniversary of the loss despite DH and I telling her at the time and also over the years that it's rude/nonsense/bullshit and not to say stupid shit like that.

[thosetalesofunexpected]

A long time so called friend I had known since my children were small,and her's ,now got grown up children, when I was working with her at very well known hotel chain, when I confided to her that I was brought up in children's homes, because my birth mother was constantly in and out of pschatriac hospital, she laughed and told me she had allways thought that there was something wrong with me, it was first time I had something as personal as that to her,still hurts, she is one of those kinds of people who expects everyone to be sympathetic to her life woes,but she just usually makes a joke or laughs off ,other peoples woes ,its so irritating ! i know laughter is one of the best medicine but...

[PandemicAtTheDisco]

'Well, you'd never have coped with three children so it's probably for the best'

After the loss of my twins.

[SimplySteveRedux]

My Mother telling me that she was pissed off with me as she missed her Christmas dinner/party as she was in hospital about to give birth.

Someone recently called me a scammer, lying to obtain money.

And my brother telling me I'm a child abuser because it was difficult to parent a child with 100% deafness in one ear and 20% in the other. Child also has severe ASD and we had to enlist help from social services.

Same brother called me a filthy, disgusting, immoral, bottom-feeding runt because I had a gay relationship.

[thosetalesofunexpected]

when I went to a Ann summer's party a few years ago,at a local pub,up the rd, a random stranger female sitting at the bar,said she was wondering why I hadn't left the room an had gone to sit in the next room with the rest of the men, I am female,but I did used to have short hair, she realized her mistake and did apologise , I was just stunned,then she asked,if i wanted her mobile tel no, to meet up and get to know each as friends, er I don't think so...

[SimplySteveRedux]

First time I took my girlfriend (been together 25 years now) Mother said "be careful, you don't know what she's got. I was amazed my girlfriend didn't about turn and walk straight out the door.

[Sparklfairy]

"oh shut up and take your happy pills" -when my mum had gone through my room and found the anti depressants I'd secretly got from the GP.

Strangely, my ex calling me a liar really stung and it's stuck with me. Probably because he lied and cheated all through our relationship and despite me being totally innocent and withdrawing from any social life I was constantly accused of cheating and being a sex worker king of projection that man.

[Sunnydaysstillhere]

On a bus with my crying baby, a local woman told me I should have kept my fucking legs shut... I got off the bus.
She had an Asbo for attacking an elderly lady...

[theThreeofWeevils]

Trivial compared to many of these, but "Fuck's sake, 3oW, time to move on now" eight weeks after my husband's death didn't help much.

[BrokenNotDead]

My Dad died when I was 16, just before I started my GCSE's, I got told from my older (by 12 years) brothers friend that I shouldn't take my exams because 'now you've got a house and money!' Oh yeah, let me just magically pull money out of my arse to buy my siblings (Dad's kids not mum's). I'm the youngest of 7 (blended family) and not 1 of them offered me a place to stay when the house was sold while I was doing my exams.

When I had an (unknown) ectopic pregnancy someone I considered a friend told me 'it's for the best because I don't want another 1" errrm yeah WE do! And she also told me to 'stop being dramatic" when I nearly died from internal bleeding, I got blue lighted to the hospital.

There's loads more but they're still the 1s that upset me now

[Weirdfan]

My DM when I told her, aged 16, that I'd been raped when I was 13. She said 'oh don't be stupid, of course you weren't'. She's been an amazing mum in every other way and I think it was just the shock made her say it but I'll never forget it.

[Jericoo]

JFC what is wrong with people? I've put my foot in my mouth a fair few times (I'm autistic and often misjudge/misinterpret situations) but some of these are just heartless.

[chickenyhead]

OK, to you all.

My Dad has been quite astounding at these, but these 2 examples stand out recently..

Sister dies (his daughter) of brain tumour, aged 50. Booked herself and paid for full Catholic funeral etc, because she wanted to please him (she and I had discussed it and I tried to get her to reconsider).

Dad's comment when he finds out a few days after death 'it's going to be so humiliating having all you heathen children showing me up at the church"

Dad on finding out that my neice (40 adopted at age 5) had died unexpectedly leaving her children motherless..."well, its not like she's family"

School head at meeting with SS and me, following my exP raping me resulting in pregnancy and me being traumatized:
"Well, he is a better parent than you"

(Seriously, he wasn't, he was controlling and abusive).

[Mediumred]

I agree a lot of these seem around baby loss. A lovely friend who had to have a termination due to severe foetal abnormalities had afterwards rung the pregnancy unit to be put in touch with a midwife for support and was told ‘this unit is for people who want to keep their babies’.

I had several miscarriages, we had come to terms with the fact we would probably be a one-child family but I got pregnant again at 44. I lost the baby in a more traumatic miscarriage, an ambulance took me to hospital alone due to severe blood loss, DP had to stay at home with our daughter. The next day the doctor had a go at me for ‘accidentally’ getting pregnant at my age as we hadn’t been taking folic acid or using contraception, maybe it was a little rash but we weren’t actively trying, my partner is quite a lot older than me so we felt it was very unlikely. Anyhow, it was just crappy to be told off in my blood-soaked clothes etc.

[HappyInL0nd0n]

Mid 20s, after a few drinks, I told my mother I'd been raped.

Immediate response, didn't even stop to ask by whom, she said: 'Well, you always did put yourself in those situations.'

I'm 40 now. I love her. We're close. I forgive her for being a fucking asshat at times when I was younger...

Still... FFS. And I didn't, btw...