The most insensitive comment youve heard?

[pallyfally]

A year ago today, my then DP of 4 years told me I was pathetic for crying when I had a very early miscarriage. I left soon after but it hurt me in a way I can’t really remember now but know at the time I was flooded with pain by his comment.

A friend of mine had just finalised her divorce and we had gone for a girl lunch with three others. One of our friends said ‘what’s it like being back on the shelf and knowing you won’t be coming back down?’ Friend was 35 at the time, she was so upset.

Just got me thinking how awful people can be sometimes. I think it says a lot more about them and how they are feeling than the person the comments are directed at. Still shocking and shit though!

[HappyInL0nd0n]

@Weirdfan

My DM when I told her, aged 16, that I'd been raped when I was 13. She said 'oh don't be stupid, of course you weren't'. She's been an amazing mum in every other way and I think it was just the shock made her say it but I'll never forget it.

Only read your comment after I posted mine and scrolled back. Snap(ish).

Fucking sucks to have that type of memory pinballing about your head, right?

Hope you're doing ok. I am now, mostly.

[lovelemoncurd]

I was talking to a colleague about the suicide of another colleague. I said it's so sad for her children. The reply was 'well I think the kids will be better off without her'. What kids are better off after the suicide of their mother?

[Ilady]

My friend was at a relative's wedding about 20 years ago. At the time she was 28/29 and single. One of her aunt's said to her we never see you with anyone meaning a man. My friend pretend not to hear this comment but was upset over it as she wanted to be in a relationship.

Another friend of mine picked up her mobile phone a few years ago and saw a message from an ex boyfriend. She opened it up to see a photo of 2 positive tests belong to his new girlfriend of a short time. My friend heard later via a mutual friend that after a DNA test was done this child was not his. Shortly after this she met him out one day and asked him how is X and the baby. He did not know where to look before he told her the news.

Another lady I know was stopped outside by a neighbor after she had her 3rd child. She told this lady she had a boy to hear - another boy you will have to go again for a girl. The mother replied am I not lucky to have a 3rd healthy child. This mothers husband has neice/nephew who is serverly disabled and the neighbor would have known this.

[Whocutdownthecherrytree]

My mother the day before my D & C for my miscarriage. “Keep your chin up.” Exact same thing was said to me by admin person at ivf clinic when requesting emergency counselling for said miscarriage

[Dryadia]

My brother died unexpectedly in his mid 40's from an undiagnosed heart condition. He had always been our mother's favourite.

At my brother's funeral. To my sister and I, "Why couldn't one of you have died instead! ". I do still wonder why we are not NC with her.

My sister had a 5 year old at the time, I had 3 mid teens, both of us are married. Our brother lived alone, never married or had children. So the additional hurt to our families, our mother was wishing for, is still hard to take.

We miss our brother every day.

[catfeets]

After my ex husband hit me, my mum told me not to be rash about leaving him as we 'have such lovely holidays, it would be a shame to miss out on them in future' .

My MIL told my DP that he should insist that I abort our daughter as kids are a waste of time and money. She also told him that it was 'likely he wouldn't love the kid anyway so best get rid now'.

She also complained that he was ruining her retirement plans when he told her he was selling the house to move in with me, meaning she'd have to move back to the flat she was supposed to be living in. Turns out she'd never expected him to meet anyone and wanted to live with him forever without contributing a penny. Apparently she made it very clear that she thought he was so weird and pathetic that no one could ever possibly want him.
She also hates our daughter's name and refuses to use it. She refers to her by a different name entirely.
We haven't heard from her once since she moved out. Our daughter is 8mths old now and she's never so much as asked for a photo.

[theviewfromhalfwaydown]

My dad dropped dead in front of me when I was a teenager I called my friend in a distraught state and got told. “Why are you upset at least you had a dad. I never knew mine!

I found out my ex was cheating on me two weeks after I had just given birth. His mum told he wouldn’t have had to turn to someone else if I had “just had sex with him!”

Crying to my mum that some kids called me fat and ugly her reply “but you are”

[greteld]

You'll be single all your life because you're too quiet.

I have social anxiety.

[Witchend]

Not on the scale of some of these but when I was pregnant with dc3 I had 3 or 4 times when people asked if we whether they were a boy or a girl, and when I said no replied
"As long as it has all its fingers and toes"

Dc2 was born without a hand. Yes there were all aware.

[coronafiona]

'You're overweight because you're lounging around'
I'd just given birth to twins. Thanks mum.
And I ate too much in pregnancy deliberately because twin 1 wasn't growing enough. It was all I could do for her. She survived and today is my best friend. I'm glad I was fat and lazy

[Malin52]

Acquaintance to friend: "have you got kids?"
Friend (having struggled with many rounds of IVF): "no"
Acquaintance: "Oh well, I can't understand that but each to their own!"

[AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit]

@theviewfromhalfwaydown I hope you've since booted all these fuckers out of your life

[theviewfromhalfwaydown]

@AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit I did all but my mum. She came out with some horrible stuff when I was young.

[LadyB49]

My mother said to my aunt in my presence, when I was about 14...... "No matter what I put on her she still looks like nothing".
Not awful compared to some on here but I've never forgotten it and Im now in my 70s.

[frustrationcentral]

Not really a comment but a conversation I had with my dad.

Several years ago my 6 year old DS was seriously ill and had to have intense treatment. It was horrific, made life very tough for us all. He spent two years in and out of hospital - life was very unpredictable, we couldn't enjoy anything even on the good days really

[frustrationcentral]

Posted too early!

Anyway, coming up to Christmas and we had to shuffle everything around to fit in hospital treatment, visiting families in different areas - all whilst DS wasn't well all.
I rang my parents, who were angry that they weren't getting the part of Christmas they wanted and then my dad launched at me about how disgusting he thought it was when we tagged ourselves in Facebook doing something at weekends when we should have been visiting them instead. Did I know how many times we'd visited that year?! Did I know how upsetting that was to them? To see us having a nice time without them? Cheers dad, we've had the shittest year ever and you begrudge us having very few nice times

I've always been close to my dad, and I've never forgotten this. It didn't help that he rang on the morning we were heading in for the next inpatient treatment so we were already feeling stressed.

[MunchBunchYoghurt]

CF colleague- the office bitch.

I gave my daughter an unusual name. Let’s say it was Quinn:
She said “ Quinn is such a marmite name, you either love it or hate it”

[MyMessyHouse]

'you're so lucky to get a free brand new car'

Said to me after my son received cancer therapy as a toddler, which left him with balance and mobility problems, and learning difficulties for life, resulting in us having a motability car.

[Trisolaris]

‘So did you just have a terrible diet then?’ (Multiple people on why I have type one diabetes)

‘You know if you pray you can be cured’

‘It’s odd because you aren’t fat’

[Thisischocolate]

These posts are just hideous, what is wrong with people that they not only think such awful things but then think it’s a great idea to say it?

My DM told me I should have got cancer instead of my cousin because she’s married with DC and I wasn’t (I am now), and more people would grieve her if she died.

[booearing]

I heard your brother died its ok though as you weren't close.
i lost my dad the year before and my mum 9 months before that i was devastated that all my family were gone.
It was 15 years ago and it still hurts when i think of what she said.

[MrsMariaReynolds]

When I returned to teaching after maternity leave, a parent of a former student stopped me one afternoon after school to remind me to "start working on a second" straight away because "only children are so very weird!"

I'm an only child. And due to fertility issues, am now raising only child DS. It's not weird. 🙄

[Lurchermom]

Not as bad as some of the ones on here, but a few that stuck with me.
My DF (who I love dearly and have a good relationship with, but who was a not good in a crisis) when I was a teenager and had been having a mental health breakdown "Why can't you just be normal?"

When I was the manager of a hospitality outlet (working over 60hours a week) a customer, quite seriously and friendly asked me "Do you ever wish you'd got a proper job?"

And one that really made me angry was when I had just got engaged and about a week later a friend announced her surprise pregnancy. Our group of friends got together to celebrate both and one of them said "Well, it's just a shame X's baby news trumps your life event, isn't it? You must have been so excited before". I just commented that I hadn't realised it was a competition. I've never looked at the friend in the same way again though.

[stayingaliveisawayoflife]

Our family classic, I was phoning round after my younger sister gave birth. Grandparents were quiet but happy (she was 18 and a single mum) but my aunt was pissed and a whole different ball game!

First I got ' that is such a shame as she is the most intelligent out of you three'. Followed up by 'I always thought you would sleep with the first man that asked you and get pregnant.' I'm afraid the 20 year old morbidly obese university going self put the phone down on her! It's crazy that I had bariatric surgery, have two degrees and am happily married and chose to not have children but it still digs.

[mam0918]

Almost anything said about childloss or infertility thats not said by someone currently in that emotional turmoil is usually wrong and insensative.

I had infertility, had my DS after primary infertility and then after 6 years of trying again for a sibling I had a loss and was told by many doctors on my infertility journey:
'It been a long time you should give up, sometimes its not meant to be'
'Your being ungrateful to the child you have'
'At least you experanced pregnany think about those that never get to'
'You're not really infertile if you have had a child already'
'A miscarraige fixes infertility so you'll probably be pregnant again next month'

These are people trained to work in that field nevermind comments from just regular people.

Honestly people act like being infertile and wanting a child (or shock horror more than one) is the most selfish thing in the whole world - the 'just adopt' has to be the most frustraiting one though because not only is it insensative to infertility but its utterly ignorant to the process of adoption too.