Why did Bilbo Baggins never have a partner or get married?

[VHSappy]

Anyone remember?

Best adaptation by far was the BBC radio version.

The LOTR films have their moments - and their outrageous over-the-top bits (un-Tolkien-ish and thoroughly ridiculous as it is, I love the bit where Legolas surfs down the stairs on a shield). The hobbit films are tosh, though Kili (or is it Fili? - the one played by Poldark) is cute. Funnily enough, that's the only thing he does do it for me in - can't be bothered with Poldark. The something down his trousers dialogue is dreadful, though. And also I have never forgiven Peter Jackson for ruining Faramir.

In the book Sam goes back to the Shire and marries his childhood sweetheart, Rosie. They had several children and named one Bilbo. Sam did not go on the boat with the others of the fellowship.

He was gay, fell in love with Kili

Are you assuming Kili's gender? I always read him as a woman.

If you read Christopher Tolkien's history of middle earth it mentions that Bilbo spent a large part of his fortune on prostitutes and drugs.

There are no female characters in the book, apart from lobelia at the end. So he had no one to marry?
I think he just loved his bachelor lifestyle though. He adopted Frodo and didn’t need any more close family.

@raddledoldmisanthropist

He was gay, fell in love with Kili

Are you assuming Kili's gender? I always read him as a woman.

If you read Christopher Tolkien's history of middle earth it mentions that Bilbo spent a large part of his fortune on prostitutes and drugs.

If this isn't a satirical nonsense post then please ban me forever.

I love the bit where Legolas surfs down the stairs on a shield

Who doesn't?

I always figured Bilbo was a bit of a male "cat lady", happy to mostly keep to himself. Also he did spook the neighbours. So not a good catch, despite his wealth.
The theory about him being "married to the Precious", so to say, is rather compelling. But he then invites young Frodo to live under his roof, so... Maybe not?
I guess "he's (celibate) gay" remains a fairly good explanation.

Oh, what about Merry and Pippin? Never married either...
Mind you, my youngest thought Pippin might be a girl (he got mixed up with Pippi Longstockings...) and that's my new head cannon: that fool of a Took is a stereotypical rebellious young (hobbit) lass dressing as a lad so that she can go and travel around the world.

Honestly? Because Tolkien really struggled with his female characters. There's the annoying inlaw type (Lobelia), the ice queen type (Galadriel and Arwen, representing unattainable, and reward for heroism subtypes), the tomboy type (Eowyn - and no, she isn't trans, she's a shieldmaiden), and barely sketched in (Rosie, Sam's wife). And that's virtually it. I absolutely love LoTR, and the Hobbit, but how often does a woman talk to a woman?

Ah (sad teenage geek who read the appendices) Pippin eventually becomes Thain and marries Diamond of Long Cleve (god I was so sad as a teenager... and even sadder that the one bit of my post-menopausal brain that isn't completely fried by advancing years appears to be the segment devoted to Tolkien trivia).

@CloudyVanilla

I always assumed it was because his indecent travelling hobby and lack of ordinariness made him undesirable to more respectable hobbits :)

This. Or that the reason for his horror of Lobelia Sackville-Baggins was that they’d had a fling, he’d ditched her, and she wasn’t going to depart gracefully.

Or possibly sexy Elves.

@Judashascomeintosomemoney

Incidentally, always fancied Ian Holm, despite being 40+ years his junior. RIP.

Bloody hell I had no idea Ian Holm had died this year! I just had to google it to check. Very sad news indeed.

I won't have a word said against Eowyn because she was what the tween me wanted to be when I grew up! And Galadriel rocks in the Silmarillion (for all it's nigh on unreadable, it has more interesting female characters - Luthien kicks ass too, while Arwen is just the "reward for the hero" as you say, nocoolnames ). Though it is sad that in having Eowyn marry Faramir (which broadly speaking I consider a good thing, as Faramir is the thinking woman's top totty in the books), in the process Tolkien turns her from hero in her own right into "reward for good behaviour".

@nocoolnamesleft

Honestly? Because Tolkien really struggled with his female characters. There's the annoying inlaw type (Lobelia), the ice queen type (Galadriel and Arwen, representing unattainable, and reward for heroism subtypes), the tomboy type (Eowyn - and no, she isn't trans, she's a shieldmaiden), and barely sketched in (Rosie, Sam's wife). And that's virtually it. I absolutely love LoTR, and the Hobbit, but how often does a woman talk to a woman?

You’re leaving out the incredibly annoying Goldberry, wife of Tom Bombadil, who does nothing but waft graciously about, clean the house, or stand amidst bowls of waterlilies.

I forgot Goldberry.

She sang lots too. Whilst wafting about

Apologies, yes, I think I may have traumatically wiped Goldberry from my memory. Dizzy wafty hippy type.

According to some of Tolkien's later writings, Gandalf speculated that Bilbo never married (unusual for a hobbit) because he wanted to keep himself free for adventure and travel - not a conscious decision on his part, but perhaps genetic, being part Took (they were adventurous types).

Though it is sad that in having Eowyn marry Faramir (which broadly speaking I consider a good thing, as Faramir is the thinking woman's top totty in the books), in the process Tolkien turns her from hero in her own right into "reward for good behaviour".

It's a long time since I read the book, but in the film I think it's more like Faramir is Eowyn's consolation prize because Aragorn is spoken for.
(I say 'book' because I've got the fat paperback, I don't think of it as a trilogy)

It's the same in the book, but when she accepts Faramir she says something about she no longer wants to be a shield maiden but a healer instead. Could be a perfectly ordinary response to a brush with death and needing a healer, but I always took it growing up as a return to acceptable female norms.

(I'm another geek with Middle-Earth indelibly engraved into deteriorating brain paths )

Maybe she decided to quit at the top of the game, fighting mere mortals would be a bit of a comedown after vanquishing the wossname

In the book Eowyn and Faramir spent more time together recouperating, it was almost inevitable that they would end up together as the key characters get paired off. I fancied the pants of Strider/Aragorn in the book in my head and when she obviously fancied him too my teenage self was actually jealous. God how sad!

And the Tom Bombadil chapter! WTF! Tolkien must’ve been tripping on mushrooms at that point

The barrow downs chapter, OTOH, is pretty good - used to really give me the creeps (though not as badly as the mines of Moria or Sheldon's lair).

Thinking of Shelob, and in geek mode again, someone pointed out a really funny "continuity error" in the books. Frodo has learned Elvish from Bilbo. Men of Gondor speak a form of Elvish as their native language. So in fact the conversation between Faramir and Frodo actually reads:

"Don't go up the stairs of the tower of the giant spider, Frodo."

"Why, what's at the top of the stairs of the giant spider?"

"Who knows, Frodo, who know."

To up the female count there's also Ioreth of the houses of healing. She gets badly treated by Tolkien but she stayed at her post when the city was evacuated, I suppose she's annoying in-law type in the classification.

So, some of you have got over the teenage Aragorn crush, wow, good to know there's hope.

I like the term male cat lady, that's definitely Bilbo.

Gay as the ribbons in Rosie cottons hair

Because after spending so long fannying boringly about with 'the one ring to rule them all' or whatever it's called, he couldn't stand the thought of wearing a wedding ring.

(Sorry, LOTR obsessed DH has made me sick of hobbits et al)

@UserX

Gay as the ribbons in Rosie cottons hair