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Original poster

What can your 4yr old do ?

77 replies

Notyet20208 · 20/10/2020 19:02

My ds whos 4 ( 5 in February) seems behind in some ways so i thought id see what others do.
Only says 20 words and two word sentences such as want milk.
Stil draws lines etc
Hits out at me and siblings
Very very active never sits down.
Cant be trusted on scooter outside as he has no road safety. Will go on to road while im telling him not to etc.
He can count to 10 and say colours.

OP posts:

Original poster

Notyet20208 · 20/10/2020 19:06

He was supposed to be at school this year but we decided thatan extra yr might be good for him

OP posts:

OverTheRainbow88 · 20/10/2020 19:08

My ds just turned 4.
He can count to about 40
He is nowhere near writing any letters of anything
He recognises numbers up to about 10
Can’t wipe his own bum
Can’t put in his own clothes
Can’t draw anything well enough for me to recognise what it is
Has just learnt to recognise his name written down
Doesn’t hit others
Can’t sit still and doesn’t focus on anything more than a few min
Is very physical- can climb really high, tide a bike,
Scooter etc!

Is your DS at school?

IHateCoronavirus · 20/10/2020 19:09

Has he been assessed, especially regarding his language deficit?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

4 year olds Behaviour & development Families

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 20/10/2020 19:10

Im not sure that this thread will help. People will lie and say their 4 year olds can do all sorts of things and it won't help you at all.

Have you spoken to the nursery and your health visitor. They will have a better idea of any additional help you ds needs.

Try not to worry, I know it's easier said than done, but they all go at their own pace, and can be seemingly 'behind' for months then catch up within weeks

TheGriffle · 20/10/2020 19:12

He doesn’t sound behind except maybe with his speech. Have you spoken to a health visitor about your concerns?

My dd is 3y7m and can speak fluently, hold a conversation, make observations etc and has been able to for a while but both my girls were early, good talkers, she does scribble drawings but attempts people (vague circle shapes with stick arms and legs) she can mostly count to 10, And sometimes to 13 with a little help, knows her colours and a couple of simple shapes, is not too bad with road safety but needs to be held onto at busy roads but no longer bolts or needs reigns. She is also very good at tantrumming and hitting out when she doesn’t get her own way.

IHateCoronavirus · 20/10/2020 19:12

The hitting out and lack of following boundaries is likely to be due to his difficulty in communication. I would say that is your priority. Is his hearing ok?

picosandsancerre · 20/10/2020 19:13

If you not sending him to school what are your doing with him?

I agree with others if you think he is behind have you sought professional
Help?

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 20/10/2020 19:16

20 words ? Is he attending speech therapy ? Every child develops faster in some areas than others but 20 is really not a lot for a nearly 5 year old .

Bringmewineandcake · 20/10/2020 19:17

Mine is 4y4m. She can count to 30 comfortably. Recognises all of the letters and can write the first letter of her name. Can read some 2 letter words now she's at school. Has a very good spoken vocabulary. Would probably ride her bike / scooter into the road without thinking so I stay very close to her.

378laura · 20/10/2020 19:17

He does sound like he's behind on his speech which could then be affecting his behaviour. Has this ever been picked up by a HV? If not I'd have a chat to gp as perhaps he's too old for HV now.

DelurkingAJ · 20/10/2020 19:18

DS2 is 5 in March and is sat in the bath asking me to look at how much water he has in the jug. So I would say his speech is behind and I would seek professional advice for that. Can count reliably to about 30 then starts to lose numbers.

Road safety...hmm...trained to hold hands but no awareness yet. Still hits out at home (tantrums whenever tired) but not (yet) at school.

So it’s the speech that stands out to me.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 20/10/2020 19:21

My DS is also five in February and I would say your DS' speech is delayed. The drawing is normal. I would definitely be asking his nursery for their thoughts.

DipSwimSwoosh · 20/10/2020 19:22

Yes he definitely sounds like he needs support. Contact your gp or health visitor.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 20/10/2020 19:23

And i agree that ability to communicate has a massive effect on behaviour, you may find that resolves itself as his communication improves.

tempnamechange98765 · 20/10/2020 19:23

Hi OP, it sounds like your son is definitely behind on his speech by health visitor standards as I know they look for 50 words at 2 years old.

My DS is 5 at the end of the year, he talks a lot and is learning a second language (Welsh medium education). He can write his name, recognise letters, count to 100, and count in tens. He can wipe his own bum although it's not 100% clean and has issues with constipation so sometimes gets soiled pants. He's very good with road safety, can ride a two wheeled bike without stabilisers.

He can still be aggressive though and retaliates if something doesn't go his way.

crazycatbaby · 20/10/2020 19:26

My little boy has just turned 4 on Sunday. He can have a full conversation (too much talking sometimes 🤦🏻‍♀️), counts to 30, recognises quite a few numbers and letters. Can dress and undress himself. On the other hand, he can't ride his balance bike or scooter properly and isn't dry and night 🤷🏻‍♀️

legalseagull · 20/10/2020 19:29

Sounds normal apart from the language, but I still wouldn't be too concerned. One of my relatives didn't say a word until she was 5 and is now CEO of a large company. She had speech therapy which I think would be good for your child. Speak to the HV for a referral. Nursery's can also make referrals

DinosApple · 20/10/2020 19:32

Is he at preschool? What do they say?
You obviously have some concerns, which sound justified. Your best bet is to communicate with whatever setting he is in at present or your HV both of whom can guide you on what to do next.
Has his hearing has been checked?

Suzi888 · 20/10/2020 19:32

Mine is 4, just started school. We always worried she was behind, or should be able to do more. I wouldn’t keep her back though, (I thought about it) there’s too much pressure to reach certain milestones these days.
She is also very active and can hit out, has been tonight. Has been very naughty in fact!
Has absolutely zero road sense.
Can count to ten (will try up to 20 but often gets it wrong.
Does he go to nursery? What do they say?
Mine can talk well, we have proper conversations.
She can wipe butt, get dressed, recognise her name.
Like previous posters, your child’s speech seems an delayed. Has he been tested? can he hear properly etc
If you are keeping him back, what are you doing with him?

Original poster

Notyet20208 · 20/10/2020 19:36

He has had speech therapy since 2 and a hearing test. He has been referred to community child health for possible asd but we decided after the initial assessment not to go ahead with a formal asd assessment. The reason behind that was his communication as he also doesn't understand simple tasks like wheres teddy etc and his eye contact is non existent. Hes still in nappies day and night. His violence is getting worse so the mention of asd assessment has been thrown around again.

OP posts:

Tfoot75 · 20/10/2020 19:38

Does he go to nursery? I'd have expected them to suggest a referral a while ago for his speech, they are looking for that sort of vocabulary and 3 word sentences at the 2 year check, so yes it is quite behind for a 4yo in afraid OP. Is his understanding OK if he doesn't follow instructions to stay out of the road?

The rest could be normal, but for a range of opinions my 4.5yo who is doing fine at school but not advanced or anything is not at all like this, she rides a bike or scooter or walks without holding hands next to a road and would stop and wait for me to cross, her writing and drawing is not brilliant but she draws stick people and can form some letters, she counts to 20 and is just starting to read.

iguanadonna · 20/10/2020 19:39

Did you have a particular reason for not going ahead with formal assessment?

As issues not resolving, that sounds like the route to getting him more support.

OverTheRainbow88 · 20/10/2020 19:39

What has his speech therapist suggested?

Personally; I would go with the formal asd assessment, so he gets the proper support he needs at school.

His violence may be because he’s frustrated that he’s struggling to communicate with others.

Oatbaroatbar · 20/10/2020 19:39

How did you get him to stay out of school an extra year? Are you doing anything to replace the educational/social aspects of school?
Mine was 4 in August so just started school as the youngest in the year.
He’s always been interested in letters so has been writing his name for about a year, and knows quite a few phonics sounds. Since starting school he seems to be doing well with reading, can count to 100. I’m not sure what else, he’s known colours since he was about 2. He’s used his scooter since about 2.5 but has never been interested in his balance bike. Seems pretty average with the rest of his year

378laura · 20/10/2020 19:44

I think if I was you I'd go down the route of formal assessment. If he gets a diagnosis you'll get more support.

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