This was the contents of an 8 year olds lunchbox.

[IAm1]

Nutella sandwich
Bar of dairy milk
Pot of joy
2 custard creams
Cheese string.

Dd asked me if she could have a big chocolate bar in her lunch box. I said no so she declared that Chloe gets all of the above.

I didn't believe her at first but when dd said at the school gates ' my mum doesn't believe you get a whole chocolate bar for lunch'
Chloe nodded and showed me the contents. Her mum stood smiling and nodding and I felt embarrassed.

I didn't really know what to say so just laughed and said goodbye to dd then walked off.

Would you feed your dc that?

@Greensleeves90

Doesn’t surprise me. I see this in the majority of lunchboxes everyday, a lot of the time it’s worse. But no one can say anything as apparently it’s ok, “at least the child is being fed” and “it’s no one else’s business”....except, that doesn’t sit right with me. The child has no one else to go by except the parents/carers giving this food, so they are helpless to a lifetime of obesity, diabetes, dental cavities, heart disease etc through no fault of their own, and because no one is allowed to say anything for fear of offending. All of this of course is paid for on the already drained NHS which we all contribute towards. And then there is the immediate impact of a child too tired/wired to learn because of their rubbish lunch (majority of cases like this they haven’t had breakfast either), and their behaviour towards other children for the same reason. But of course, no one else’s business!

This post is spot on.

I would be more worried about your daughter being encouraged to humiliate and gossip.

I hope you both felt good about yourselves as you skipped off with your heavyweight sourdough (if this thread has even an ounce of truth in it).

"i would just tell my daughter if her mummy wants to feed her to much sugar thats their house but in our house we eat normal food"

@rosydreams that's horrible. Were you always a bully?

Yes i would have, just to be rebellious

@Doughnutlady

I would be more worried about your daughter being encouraged to humiliate and gossip.

I hope you both felt good about yourselves as you skipped off with your heavyweight sourdough (if this thread has even an ounce of truth in it).

agree

I would assume that there is a reason she was allowed those items in her lunch box.
Our school is very strict about what you can have it’s even looking at banning yoyo and other pressed fruit but under special circumstances “banned” food is allowed. My friends little boy has a very limited diet due to allergies so has to have some higher fat and sugar food or he would fade away. I would be surprised by the Nutella as most school are nut free.

Pot of Joy is such a great name. Chocolate yogurt makes it sound healthier than it actually is though. There's not really any yogurt in it. I think more foods should have names like that. Sprouts could be "spheres of doom"
It's not the worst lunch I've heard of www.google.com/amp/s/www.thesun.co.uk/news/7270891/teacher-worst-packed-lunches-children-beer-red-bull-mcdonalds/amp/

@YellowishZebra

A lunch like that wouldn't be allowed at any school I have ever worked in. The cheese string would be allowed. Personally my DD usually has Cheese sandwich Cheese string Frube Apple Nutrigrain Crisps Which I know isn't healthy but the people seeing that lunch haven't seen the porridge and berries she has for breakfast. The vegetable soup she has as an after school snack (homemade no salt etc) Or what ever I cook for dinner, which is usually mostly vegetable with chicken or fish . So what I'm saying is a diet is more than what is in a lunchbox.

How old is she? That's a big lunch if she had it all.

Packed lunch here today is two slices of brown seeded bread, cheese with slices of red pepper, an apple and a nakd bar. That's what my teenagers and I all have.

Mind your own business. At least the child is eating.

I think that a bucket load of sugar and too much.

My son has a sandwich, a packet of crisps, a small cake car and two pieces of fruit plus a box of juice and a water bottle. It is a lot but that includes his mid morning snack. I have offered cheese if he wants anything else. He doesn't eat the fruit very often, which is why it went up from one piece of fruit to two!

You don’t know what’s going on in the background. To be fair it’s not healthy but I have been judged for walking into school at 9am feeding my child jelly babies. I certainly got some disgusted looks from people who would never do that. A few months ago I would never have done it either but it’s actually healthy for my child. If her bloods are low (type 1 diabetic) she needs to bring them back up. If not the results could be horrendous, so yes, I will feed my child jelly babies in the morning if she needs them and throughout the night too. All I’m saying is you don’t always know the full story.

Worried234 The OP's dd is using this as a reason to have a whole chocolate bar in her lunch box so it is kind of the *OP8's business.

DS has a similar lunch box.
It's because he won't eat his ham / cheese sandwiches / wraps. He won't eat any fruit- apples banana orange...- at school!
And I rather he eats something like a chocolate spread sandwich with a chocolate coated biscuit or a packet of crisps than nothing. I also don't like throwing food away.

But he has a decent breakfast (porridge/ scrambled eggs/ beans on toast...) with and a lovely home cooked dinner.

myhobbyisouting how is telling your child the truth, that parents can indeed give their kids too much sugar, bullying?

Dh had jam sandwiches every day all through junior school, it set him up for unhealthy habits and he was diabetic at 40.

Mil always says well that was what he wanted but you can’t just let kids eat shite.

There can be a lot of reasons kids will only eat certain things and food issues with kids are a big problem in families. So I really wouldn't want to make the child or mum feel bad, at all. But talking to your own kid about a healthy diet isn't bullring. Maybe you could explain to your child some children only eat certain things.

Perhaps better to encourage her to plan and pack her own healthy lunch and not worry too much what others are eating.

bullying not bullring of course!

I'm pretty easy going about food...my dc eat chocolate most days and we have pudding every day... usually a pot of joy

However, that lunch box sounds appalling. My DC always have a treat in theirs... Oreos today! And often crisps...but I always put in some form of veg, carrot sticks, cucumber, peppers etc and a form of protein.

My dd told me there's a child in her class who has dry cereal every day.... I hope it's because she's fussy rather than a financial issue.

I'm not sure what the answer is but all the comments of 'mind your own business' aren't sensitive to the wider impacts. (i) If the child eats this every day their long term health is going to suffer. (ii) Children see what others are eating and want it in their own lunchboxes - cue lots of different households having to deflect requests from their kids for junk items in their lunchboxes. (iii) At least one poster above said their kid likes healthy food but now won't take it to school because she gets bullied for it. Bottom line - most kids love junk food and parents collectively need to change their availability so it isn't perceived as a normal diet. There were also comments about special needs, but surely good nutrition is even more important for children with SN?

@Ylvamoon

DS has a similar lunch box. It's because he won't eat his ham / cheese sandwiches / wraps. He won't eat any fruit- apples banana orange...- at school! And I rather he eats something like a chocolate spread sandwich with a chocolate coated biscuit or a packet of crisps than nothing. I also don't like throwing food away. But he has a decent breakfast (porridge/ scrambled eggs/ beans on toast...) with and a lovely home cooked dinner.

my dd was the same! chocolate spread sandwiches,

I think it is irisponsible to send any product containing nuts into school. There might be a child with an allergy. Most schools have a no nut policy.

so what do you plan to do with the information op?

@Saggyoldsofa

Notwithstanding SEN or sensory or diet issues (actual, diagnosed ones....) then I sort of think we are probably too soft on kids now. So they won't eat a healthy lunch? Too bad. They go hungry till tea time. What is really worse? Setting them up for a lifetime of unhealthy eating or them being a bit hungry on occasion?

I say that as the parent of one incredibly fussy eater who was never allowed to have packed lunches because she would only have taken about 3 things ever! At least on school lunches she was presented with a range of foods even if she didn't eat them.

I agree with this. My son only eats a sandwich and a piece of fruit, any more comes home uneaten - which is fine as he had breakfast, fruit and milk at school and a snack on getting home and then dinner. Yes, he’d eat more if he had chocolate and crisps as humans are pretty programmed to overeat on junk whether hungry or not, but it isn’t needed. The amount in the mentioned lunchbox comes to a very high number of calories and isn’t needed even if the child is SEN. That’s just a fact, not being judgy. It is understandable to have unhealthy items for specific reasons, but care should attempt to be taken. However, many reasons affect this like availability/cost of healthy foods, understanding parents have of nutrition, importance they place on it etc.

Ds actually has a health condition that requires low sugar (pretty much what is in standard items already, like bread, but no chocolate etc with sugar in) and low salt (again, don’t really add to food or give high salt snacks, but cheese etc manageable without high salt snacks). It’s not hard to feed a child healthy and our family all eat the same as him to make it fair and because it does us the world of good anyway. I find it strange that parents are so very concerned about children under eating when it’s clear from the stats that the majority do not undereat. Missing one meal due to fussy behaviour (not Sen or similar) is not going to damage a child, but continual unhealthy eating will. Not only can children be short of important nutrients, but also they are more at risk of obesity, of continued eating issues into adulthood, of feeding their own children in a similar manner etc. So, as we don’t know the full situation, I wouldn’t judge, but I would recognise it as unhealthy and wouldn’t choose to feed my own child that way.

Ah I see the competitive under eating has started: “that’s a big lunch, me and my 6.4ft teen boys eat half a homemade oat cake, a baby bel and maybe some fruit if we are still hungry after all that”.

@Pelleas

What's a 'pot of joy'? I think I need a pot of joy ...

I think we all do. A bloody big one!