Strange primal confessions of motherhood.

[Alibab1]

I have noticed a couple of fairly primal, animalistic things I have done since having children and wondered if you can report similar?

When my children were very little babies / toddlers I could smell when they were tired. They gave off some kind of unmistakeable scent and I would catch myself sniffing their heads and then that informing me on their state of energy! It's not something I do now, nor do I notice that smell. Perhaps I was more intune back then. I recall it was an intense and pleasant, but definate smell of tiredness. And very accurate!

Also, and I still do this, a kiss on the forehead is a fairly accurate measure of fever. If they felt warm via this method I would then crack out a thermometer of course But the kiss itself seems to be my first stop and my lips being a better gauge for their temp than a hand...

Anyone else got similar primal confessions?

The most obvious one was suddenly waking up with breasts leaking a few minutes before the baby visibly woke.

I could smell a fever, and always feel it but I can’t remember lips being more sensitive than hands for this.

I often have a really overwhelming urge to put her in my mouth! Not ALL of her as such but her hands, ears.... I googled it and it is a thing, which is just as well because I thought I was mad 🤪

Yes! When my baby was first born and for a while when she was really tiny, I had this overwhelming urge to kiss her face and head (actually, if I'm being totally honest, I wanted to lick her!). It was weird, I just wanted my face to be about an inch away from hers at all times. No idea what that was all about but I couldn't help it!

Yes to the mouth thing. I actually wanted to bite them. But it wasn't a bite, it would be like putting them in my mouth and carrying them. Like an animal does with it's young. I read that it was a throwback primal reaction.

I don't know if this counts but when ds was very little I'd watch him sleep and just stand there weeping uncontrollably because I couldn't cope with the sheer amount of love I had for him. Weird perhaps but I couldn't help it!

Also (again I don't know if this counts) but the minute I found out I was pregnant I 100% knew he was a boy.

I can always smell if my DD is poorly, it’s not unpleasant I just notice she doesn’t smell right. Ive also been able to tell what she wants from the moment she was born and even now at nearly 2 if she upset I’ll have this instinct it’s tummy ache or she’s had a bad dream etc, though I guess that’s probably just knowing your child and normal?

Nuzzling and smelling them!

I thought I was the only one who did the kiss on the forehead temp check. They're not babies any longer but it still works!

I can smell when my DS is coming down with an illness. His sweat will smell strong and sickly sweet, and (TMI) when I changed his dirty nappy his poo would smell sickly sweet as well. It puts me on high alert, next stage being sleepy and a headache. When he hits that stage I know he's got a stomach bug.
DH never clocks it but I do.

I’ve just remembered I also used to have this thing where I had an overwhelming urge to eat her left over food when she was younger, even baby mush and half chewed food I put it down to the fact it was perhaps a primal response to clean up after her as not to attract predators

Isn’t the kiss thing a biological way of your breast milk finding a way to provide “medicine” if your kid is sick?

I used to get an overwhelming desire to want to cuddle ds and absorb him back into my body! He felt like an extension of me - so weird.

I still love sniffing him.

I remember DH giving DD1's head a lick when she was tiny, he said cause it looked like a peach- I thought he was crazy 😂.

I can still smell when DD1 is has a tummy bug- she's 11 now. Not for DD2 though.

If I'm too hot or too cold, I always take off/add clothing and blankets to them. Now this makes sense if, eg, we are both out together and the sun comes out, so I take off both our jumpers.

But other times what is affecting me isn't affecting them. Eg, it's a cold day but I'm running and getting hot while they are sitting still in the pram. Or I'm cold because I've been outside while they are warm inside. I can't help myself. If I wake up at night too hot, I run in and try to cool them even though they probably were fine.

I love the smell of their morning breath. It’s gross but absolutely intoxicating!

Not quite the same kind of thing but when both of mine were under 18 months every time I would see a creature, either cute or conversely non-traditionally cute i would get this sort of 'rush' of feeling that would instantly make me think of my little one. Something about the helplessness in relation to me, coupled with non-verbal state. The only way I can describe it is as though the same bit of brain or hormones would fire.

When newborn, I wanted to sort of curl up and put my DDs under me like a hen does to her chicks so as to hide them, and I wanted to hiss and snap at problematic hospital visitors (sil) and/or tear off their arms if they held my baby for too long.

A relative reminisced fondly about the good old days when they used to have a nursery on the maternity ward where the newborns would sleep so the mums could rest. My face was like this if they'd taken my newborn away from me, I would have bitten them. At one point I had a panic about getting sepsis and being separated from DD2 and I told DH that if he let them take her away from me, I'd divorce him.

I'd had a section both times, but despite that, if someone had taken my baby away, I would have walked, crawled if necessary, for miles to get her back, even if it ended in a pool of blood and split stitches.

Btw this isn't some sort of "oooh look what a loving mummy I am" boast, it was an out of control, primal reaction that I had very little control over and was actually quite scary. I genuinely felt like a wild animal. I grew up in the country and have seen how foxes, badgers, hawks, feral cats etc behave with their young, and it was exactly like that, this absolutely vicious intent to hide them and physically block any potential harm at all times. Honestly crazy. It calmed down a lot by about 6 weeks in, though flared up at times until about 6 months. I also have (actual, diagnosed for years) anxiety which does tend to go into hyperdrive around the kids at the best of times, but this was completely different, it was like my brain had been replaced by that of a scrawny female alley cat, having her kittens in a dustbin

This is a great thread! I find myself biting my lip really hard as I get the same urge to bite/squeeze/absorb DS. Also his baby farts and milky morning breath smell lovely to me 😂

When my eldest was born I didn't bath him for a good week. There were bits of dried blood in his hair and the smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before, it was incredible. It was like a raw, pure smell. The smell of the womb? And he was like this little creature totally dependent on me...all he needed in the world was me. That's a powerful feeling and a heavy one!
On his second night i cried my eyes out because every passing day was a step closer to the day he leaves me.
He's 8 now and if he's fine on his own I know I will be too!

Forget baby heads, for me it was my baby's breath! Her milky little breaths were absolutely addictive. I could have sniffed her mouth all day - big inhales. That must have been something primal. It's not been the same since she started weaning.

I loved the smell of my DDs poo before she weaned. Because she was breastfed her poo smelt like sweet popcorn.

Of course now she's older she does some right stinkers

Oh god I thought I was insane until this thread! Thank you! Mumsnet is so brilliant sometimes.

Katienana I did that too! I didn't wash DD2's hair for about a week and couldn't stop smelling her head! It was the smell of me and her. It sounds a bit gross, bits of blood etc but it smelt beautiful! I'm so glad I'm not the only one!

After delivering DD1 and back on the ward, I had an overwhelming need to strip her off and inspect every millimetre of her. It felt absolutely instinctual. Unfortunately I still couldn't move my legs because of the the spinal so I couldn't pick her up from the basinette AND it was the middle of the night so felt I couldn't ask for help. That particular instinct went unfulfilled sadly.

I do remember that during labour I went into a kind of 'zone' where I was aware of nothing but my body and birthing this baby. I'd had no drugs ar all, but it was the strangest sort of biological high. It lasted for several hours after the baby was born.

I love to smell LO’s milky breath when sleeping. Periodically have to sniff him as well to check he’s still mine 😂 Can sense when he wakes up from a nap too, even when out of earshot with no baby monitor.

In the newborn days, I got the shakes if I had gone too long without holding him. Was a nightmare when we had groups round who wanted to cuddle him. Growled at DH once when he tried to take him off me.

At a crowded garden centre just before Christmas I left 2 week old DD in her pram parked by some scented candles while I nipped to grab something.

As I was on my way back to her a woman was standing between me and the pram, just trying to look at the scented candles. By God I felt MURDEROUS.

I have totally understood since about when bears attack hapless hikers as they gave somehow inadvertently got between them and their cubs. It was an emotional response completely out of my control.

You will be happy to hear that I did decide to spare her.