Would you refer to this person as attractive or unattractive

[user43]

If you know someone who is really beautiful when they have made an effort with their appearance, when their hair is done, bit of makeup, dressed well etc. But looks really really bad when they haven't made an effort- no makeup, scruffy hair and clothes etc

When you thought about them/ if you talked about them, would you describe them as attractive or not?

What I mean is, what version of them do you think of.

I have an old friend a bit like you describe - when she's fully made up she's very striking, and it doesn't look ott either, but with no makeup etc she's very plain. I think if you only knew one version you'd easily walk past the other in the street and not notice.

For me, attractive is more about charisma as well as the aesthetics, but I'd probably describe my friend as attractive as that's how she presents herself most of the time.

I know someone that I would have described as incredibly beautiful. Good hair, teeth, skin, nice features and gorgeous figure. Really lovely woman too. I once seen her without make up on and was really surprised by the difference, her skin wasn’t smooth and it changed the look of her features dramatically. If I didn’t know it was her I would have walked pass her in the street. I know longer think of her as ‘attractive’ just a lovely person.

Depends on the proportion of time, and in what state I see them.

there was someone years and years ago on Big Brother like this. I think possibly early 2000’s. I can’t remember her name but she was absolutely stunning the night she went in, and stunning on every eviction night when they’d all dress up. During the week she was an absolute slob (not even showering or brushing her hair), and not remotely likeable with it. She was also nothing remarkable to look at. Her whole persona changed on the dressed up nights and she just held herself like a completely different person. The media was absolutely full of coverage (like it was in those days) of the marked difference in her. The poor girl was widely thought of as just a slob, with lots of very unkind and misogynistic comments on the radio (Chris Moyles I’m looking at you) about how anyone who pulls her would get a shock the next day etc.
I don’t know how on earth l’ve remembered it but surely that answers your question.

@Cam2020

I think I'd be more likely to think of them in terms of what sort of person they are than how they look!

This. True beauty comes from within. I've known women who could be on the cover of a glossy magazine but as I've got to know them better they've become progressively less attractive. I also know women who are less industry-standard beautiful who absolutely rock due to their personality. Someone with a sense of humour and fun, a touch of humility, a kind heart and a keen mind will always be beautiful regardless of the quality of their skin and hair, their BMI or what direction their boobs point.

This whole concept of female beauty as driven by the media and fashion industry is a superficial pile of bollocks that really needs consigned to the history books.

Surely most people just look plain or pleasant really? Rather than ugly or unattractive?
I can't think of many unattractive people, maybe that's more a particular layout of ears and nose?

Stuff like very greasy hair would make someone unattractive as that's unattractive in itself.

@user43

I am talking about serious extremes. Like head turning when made up, but almost looking ill when not

If they really look that ill to start with then you they will not actually be all that head turning once they are dolled up!

I would think of them as unattractive if I had to.

But then often when people are described as "attractive/gorgeous/stunning", I actually think what is meant is "groomed". Flawless make up, immaculate hair etc, but when you REALLY look at their features, they are pretty average. Most people are. That's why it's called average

[quote user43]@Cheeeeislifenow I wouldn't judge you at all. This isn't about judging. I'm just wondering[/quote]
So what is this sentence if not judging?

If you know someone who is really beautiful when they have made an effort with their appearance, when their hair is done, bit of makeup, dressed well etc. But looks really really bad when they haven't made an effort- no makeup, scruffy hair and clothes etc

@Riddikulusness are you talking about Jade Goody?

Depends on who it is, but I’d find it very difficult to describe someone I actually liked and cared about as unattractive and even if I disliked someone I can’t recall a situation where I’ve ever called someone that.

Someone being attractive is often less about actual looks and more about many other things, their personality, demeanour, grooming, dress, confidence, kindness etc,

I can tend to see through clothes and make-up. Of course I take a person as I find them and I think beautiful is different to attractive.

Someone can scrub up well and look attractive.

Someone can be beautiful without make-up and stunning with it.

Some people wear make-up, lashes etc and look attractive but can never be beautiful (in the eyes of the beholder) I'm talking about physical beauty here, not the person as a whole.

It's bone structure, eyes, shape of smoke etc (mind you one big turn off for me is fake Turkey teeth).

Smoke = smile

Why the fuck would it matter?!! They're a fucking person, not a shop window dummy!!

Everyone looks better 'done up' than when they're dragging their kids to school with their hair scraped into a sumo bun on and trying to hide that they forgot to put a bra on and categorising people by attractiveness is twattish as feck!

Not wearing make up doesn't mean someone hasn't put in effort.

Scruffy hair and clothes, that would depend. Some can pull off a scruffy look. If it's really really bad, into unkempt territory, very few can pull that off.

I'd describe based on how I saw them most. A one-off when someone is unwell, but otherwise very put-together is entirely different to someone who doesn't particularly care for their appearance, but has on a few occasions knocked it out of the park.

A catfish.

I think if you are talking aesthetics (because I tend to agree who the person is makes far more of a difference I've met some visually stunning people who are so unpleasant they become supremely unattractive....it almost becomes a pastiche of what beautiful really is...and it works the other way around) it depends on who is looking.

My DP and I had this discussion randomly the other day prompted by a social media post about odd clothing your DP liked on you. It came down to this , when I am dressed in tracksuit bottoms without makeup on a Sunday morning he really likes it because it shows a level of intimacy that only he and DC get to see. It shows that part of me that only they see and I'm open and comfortable and he loves that. When I'm dressed up he likes the aesthetic and knows I enjoy makeup and clothes (he doesn't understand it as such but he likes how happy I was when I found a beautiful faux fur coat in a charity shop for £4 and how much it made me smile when I wore it out).

I'm sure though if i went out in no makeup and tracksuit bottoms (as i often do walking ddog) the average person on the street would not consider me attractive. So at the risk of being cliched it is very much in the eye of the beholder.

So subjective! To you personally, yes that person is unattractive in their natural because clearly, you think they look terrible without make up on. Surely you would think of both, as you have in your OP, you're thinking they look good at times and terrible at others.

I don't think it's possible to be really beautiful with make up on if you're really unattractive without makeup on.

Make up doesn't change the proportion of your features so if you're stunning with makeup on then you're probably more attractive than you feel you are.

Make up just makes me look a bit better. That's all.

@ktp100

Why the fuck would it matter?!! They're a fucking person, not a shop window dummy!!

Everyone looks better 'done up' than when they're dragging their kids to school with their hair scraped into a sumo bun on and trying to hide that they forgot to put a bra on and categorising people by attractiveness is twattish as feck!

I never forget to put my bra on, as I wouldn't forget to put my knickers on for the school run.

Surely its normal to notice if someone is attractive. You don't have to comment though. When I spotted my now DH I did think, ooh he's nice looking.

Everyone can look amazing with the right hair and make up. Literally everyone. I mean you might need to hire professionals to achieve it, but it is achievable for anyone.

But I wouldn't rate that person as attractive or unattractive because I'm not attracted to women, nor do I judge folks by their looks. Hygiene however...that's another thing.

I believe that this is what the kids are calling a 'catfish' these days.

Being attractive isn’t just about looks

Many attractive people are not conventionally good looking but still very attractive. Their charm, intelligence, personality, warmth, something very sexual about them can make someone attractive nothing to do with their looks

@user43 you are writing about yourself, aren't you? So who are the people whose opinion on your perceived attractiveness is so important? If they are your true friends then it shouldn't matter to them what you look like! And if they do judge you on the days you don't want to make yourself up, then they are not friends worth keeping!

I think "attractive" is s subjective term anyway. You can be attractive without being conventionally pretty due to personality, style etc. So being attractive is not dependent upon external embellishments and very much depends on the perception of the beholder.

As for prettiness - you're either pretty or not imho - that's down to what nature has bestowed. It's also easier to measure objectively.

But I don't think you can be "stunning" "striking" or "stylish" without making some kind of effort.

If I saw a conventionally pretty woman who was not scrubbed up I'd probably think "she's pretty" and move on.

If I saw someone who I thought of as "average" I wasn't used to seeing made up, groomed etc I'd react far more strongly if I bumped into them, say, at a party, where they'd made an effort. I'd think "you 'look awesome" .

The pretty person dolled up wouldn't make such an impression.