I'm a teenager, AMA.

[sicklyparmaviolet]

Just thought it might be fun and light-hearted to hear any questions you might have for a teenager! (or not, we'll see!)

**oh and I name-changed for privacy reasons, in case anybody wants to ask that haha!

Why are you such a moody bastard?

*Well not you personally I mean my 16 year old DD "

Do you answer your phone if it’s your parent ?

What annoys you the most about your parents?

Do you secretly dream you've been adopted and secretly await your real family to collect you?! (I used to hope for this!!)

Titsywoo
I'll try not to take it personally

Err, it's a difficult time! You can feel completely like an adult and yet there's pressures to be told what to do like a child. I think even adults might throw a strop if there was someone telling them when to come home, when to work, what to eat and wear etc etc.

Also the good old hormones, they're an extra rough part

Do you enjoy school?
What do you wish your parents did 'better'? For me, I always wished my mom listened more and didn't judge immediately. It put me off opening up to her for life.

Also, this is meant in a nice way but what has drawn you to Mumsnet?

@Shortfeet I'm not in contact with my parents anymore but I'd say yeah I did answer my phone, but dependent on the situation I might try and shift it to a text conversation rather than a call.
However, I think I'd probably try and respond slower if there was a lot of communication happening!

@Audreyseyebrows At the time, I think the most annoying thing (in terms of light-hearted teenage topics) was probably not letting me wear the clothes I liked. I think self expression is important. And making fun of me for some of my crazier fashion choices (like shaving my eyebrows off!)

@IdblowJonSnow Yes, honestly! But I'm too similar to my parents to have any genuine belief in it sadly

For the record, I'm 17 but don't live with my folks anymore (however, obviously did for a long time and it was quite recent so I think I'm still fully qualified haha!) x

Hi sickly 😁 so, do you think us old farts know nothing and the younger generation a is the only way forward? I'm not saying this for everyone as my mid twenties DC still come to me for advice, I read a comment tonight on a FB page tonight about the 87 covid deaths today and a comment "yeah but bet they were All over 60". Im 48 but was taken aback by this comment. Do teens think anyone over 30 is redundant and olld (I did when I was your age 😂)

@whiskersonkittenss I enjoyed a lot of social elements of school but also had a really hard time. I think having had a gap year, I could go back and do a lot better in terms of academics so I'd say school came with massive highs and massive lows for me personally.

In terms of doing better? Er... there's a lot but I'll keep it light hearted. I think probably paying attention - actively making an effort and demonstrating that I was loved. I think it would have been a much more trusting and open relationship if I had known that the route of all their choices was love and support - sorry if that's a bit deep though!

@Audreyseyebrows I was drawn to Mumsnet as I'd like kids a little later on but don't have much experience of babies / toddlers. Plus I guess it's interesting to read about teenage and mother dynamics and try and analyse what I would do the same or differently. Short answer is probably curiosity!

@sicklyparmaviolet thank you for answering. I agree, I think self expression is very important.

Hi @TiddlyTid! No I definitely don't think anyone over 30 is redundant or old, nor do I think we should let anyone die because they're in a vulnerable category. I think there are people in all age ranges with shitty viewpoints honestly, but I guess I don't think blanket generalisations of anyone ever really helps.

I think there's a lot to be learned from history as well as the advice of people older than us, but I think there is usually a benefit in trying to stay in touch with the times and how things are progressing. We're not all out to get you though! :)

@Audreyseyebrows No worries at all, thanks for asking a question! I'm interested to hear what people are wondering / wanting to ask about :)

My parents were very similar. Are you working?

Are you being supported to live in a hostel, care setting, or independently? As falling between two stones as having left school and training under 18, are you eligible to claim any benefits? Do you have a social worker or support worker to assist you? Do you still have 'restrictions' placed upon you as being under 18, even though you're estranged from family? Do you feel there's much support for young people in your position?... Sorry! I know that's lots of questions 😂. I hope things are going well for you though OP.

@whiskersonkittenss

Not at the mo! I'm doing a full-time college course (hoping to turn it into a degree) but I think finding a job right now would be a bit tricky anyway- I'm fortunate to be living with my partner who is a key worker. Hopefully soon-ish, when it's safe to work though! x

Best of luck, being a teen is hard . Trust me being a mum to a teen is hard too .

@catsup
I'm living independently with my partner right now. I get PIP for some mental health stuff / disabilities and a bursary for my college, but that's about it at the mo! No social worker / support worker and no restrictions (that I know of anyway!).

Definitely not much support for people in similar situations. I was fortunate to be able to move in with a partner at 16, but I think I would have had a very difficult time if I were solely reliant on the government, for example. There's also not really any support groups for "Young and Estranged" people hahaha.

Thanks for asking though, brilliant questions!

@giantangryrooster Oh trust me, I'm terrified! Hopefully I'll try and crank out a few wise words of wisdom and just grin and bear it for the rest of the time when it rolls around though x

What do you think about the effect of Smart phones and social media? When did you get access and what do you think about how they impact your generation, girls in particular?

I was also fully independent at your age and despair at the way a lot of parents treat their young adults like children and have no faith in their abilities to make decisions or look after themselves.

What are you studying at college? What do your peers think about you living by yourself at your age?

@Wishingstarr
I think smart phones are both a blessing and a curse. I've had many conversations that strengthened my relationships with friends over social media that I couldn't have had face-to-face (mostly due to awkwardness or not wanting to seem too intense). However, social media has definitely negatively affected my body image - it's one thing to see photoshopped models on magazines, but it's another to see your friends and peers editing themselves and making you experience self doubt.

I deleted my social media for a long time - I only had to get one type back so I could be part of a messaging group for my college course. However, once this course is done I will go back to not having it, as I don't think it's good for my mental health to be comparing my life to other people's. I'm not sure when I got social media - I think maybe 9/10?

@Gingerkittykat Right now I'm studying a course related to the social sciences (though of course it's all remote learning right now!). I don't think my peers think much of it honestly - it was probably stranger at 16 than now as I'm getting closer to my 18th birthday, but I think I'm in an enviable position (which I'm obviously very grateful for). I guess I see myself as somewhere between a teen and an adult, and I think my peers probably see me a bit like that too.

Thank you for your questions, these are all very interesting to answer (self absorbed I know!)

Thank you. I have daughters aged 20 and 17 and a 14 yr old son. My girls did not get phones until they were 14 and 13 respectively. I think it has protected them in some ways not having them in primary and early secondary. My son got one a bit earlier mainly because he was the youngest and my parental backbone was gradually being worn down 😄 he got one around 12 ish. My 17yr has not posted on social media for a year. She is also happier that way.

@Wishingstarr I think I'll probably try and hold off for as long as possible to give my future DCs social media - though honestly I'm probably a bit unorthodox. I also like the idea of home-schooling, though who knows what that'll be like practically. What are your views on social media?

I think sometimes getting too wrapped up in "taking photos for Instagram" or the like can often make you less appreciative of events you can't capture and receive praise on. For a while after I got rid of my social media, I would take a nice photo and be upset because I wanted the praise and validation of someone online saying "Hey, that's a nice photo!" I think it becomes addictive at some point.

Sorry for the tangent though! Thanks for your posts, I like getting to answer these questions :)