Is she just trying to make me feel shit?

[WhatamessIgotinto]

I've lost almost 2 stone since May. I'm still overweight and have another stone and a half to lose before I'll be the 'right' weight for my height (5ft 2).

My friend was really supportive when I started to try to eat a bit healthier and we started at the same time. She is now constantly making digs about my having lost weight (I never mention it at all) and I really don't know why she would do this - she's also lost weight and we are now pretty much the same weight (I had more than her to lose, she was always slimmer than me) and she told me earlier that I'm clearly doing something wrong as she is now a size 8 at 11 stone (similar height) and I'm nowhere near that size and never will be. I actually don't believe her as I'm not sure how that's possible but more than that I wish she would just talk about something else rather than constantly going on about my weight.

I'm happy with my progress - it's slow and steady and manageable for me, but it's getting to the point where I can't be bothered even to see her because it's all she talks about and she always makes me feel crap!

Sounds like she has issues. Just chipping in to say I know weight is variable but I’m an inch taller than you and when I was 11 stone, I was a solid size 14. So I don’t think it’s possible for her to be an 8...

Well done on your weight loss!

I'm mostly a 14 - even a 16 in some shops. It's just really depressing when you're trying your best and it feels like she's constantly to bring me down.

She's jealous and doesn't like the fact that you are now the same weight as she's always seen herself as slimmer that you. Not a nice friend.

Unless she’s really tall she’s lying

Well done, she obviously doesn't like that you have caught up with her. I'm 10 and half stone, taller and I'm not a size 8 so I doubt she's right.

No way she is size 8 but if that is the game she wants to play just tell her you are also size 8.
I'd start avoiding her though. She will drain you.
Well done on the weight loss.

I think losing weight is a very emotive thing both physically and mentally. It occupies your mind because you are immersed in this 'thing' which dominates your life.

Well done for losing the weight and keep it up. I'm not trying to lose weight, because I don't think I can, but I am exercising to try and tone up. I'm about 11st and a size 14, so she is obviously lying, and you have to ask yourself why ?
Keep your distance and concentrate on yourself. She is not being truthful at all and this says she has issues which she is trying to offload onto you so she feels better.

I can't see how it's possible to be 5ft 2", 11 stone and a size 8.

I'm 5ft 3", 8st 7lbs and size 8 or 10 depending on the shop. I know people carry weight differently but still, I doubt she's a size 8.

She might be a size 8 if she wears american sizes not UK sizes. She's doing it to make herself feel better by making you feel bad about yourself, and is probably lying.

Well done on the weight loss.

I'm 5'9, 8 stone 10 (technically underweight) and I have some size eight trousers from Next that are too tight. And everyone says Next sizes are super generous!
Does it even mean anything? It occupies too much of my head space!

You were her bigger mate, someone she could feel superior too... now you’re not bigger , you’re going to be the smaller mate. It’s not sitting well with her, and she’s trying to keep you in your box. She isn’t a friend, she’s a bitch in the guise of a friend. You don’t need her vitriol op, move on. Well done on the changes you’ve made!

Just to add to perspective, I'm just over 9 stone, around 5' 5" and I'm still a size 10/12!
You keep doing you OP, let her get on with it, but if she keeps going with the snippy comments, ask her to go shopping for clothes with you - and her.....

She's a liar.

Don't worry about it - she clearly is delusional as no way could she be that size given weight / height measurements.

Still pisses me off if people who I haven't seen for years comment admiringly on how small I am - I have a chronic illness. Whoopee.

Last episode was someone who hadn't seen me in the flesh for almost 20 years and proceeded to interrogate me - I wasn't huge to start with - but she thought I'd found a holy grail; yes, being ill.

I can't see how it's possible to be 5ft 2", 11 stone and a size 8.

Nor do I, mainly because when I actually WAS a size 8 (about a million years ago) I was seven and a half stone. Granted sizes have got bigger since then but not that much!

She says things like 'you're doing so well keep it up and you'll be a size 8 too in no time'. While dumping a doughnut on my desk as a 'treat'. I don't even need to be an 8, just a healthy weight is fine for me.

I am 11 stone, 5ft 7, and a size 14

I'm the same height and weigh about 10 stone and I'm a 12/14. She's not a size 8.

You're doing great and it's making her uneasy.
Either step back from the friendship or continue with utter ambivalence.

She doesn't want to be the fat one. I saw it a few times in an old friendship group, it was a really unhealthy dynamic. It was all fun and laughs and "ooh aren't I naughty eating this" until one went on a diet and started losing weight. Then the others started with the cakes and biscuits and McDonald's because they wanted her to fail. Insecurity basically.

Agree with @Pinkypink
And others, there is no way she is a size 8 at 11 stone. Is she a close friend? If so id call her out on it, you might have some bad feeling at first but worth it to stop it. If she's not a close friend just try and ignore, she's talking rubbish. If you feel confident you could ask her where she buys these very stretchy size 8 clothes, I want some too, also 11 stone but taller

Ps well done on the weight loss

OP well done on your weight loss so far. Unfortunately it sounds like she's very jealous and feels threatened. I agree with everything @Lollypop701 said.
I'm currently losing weight myself and this time around I've kept silent. Lockdown and distancing have made that easy. In the past when I've tried to lose weight certain people instantly tried to put me down, sabotage me and made loads of snippy comments . The topic of weight seems to turn people crazy but I tell myself now it's their issue and how they're feeling . Wish I could drop these people but some are family.

I would distance yourself from this friend or when she starts with the weight talk instantly change the subject every time.

Oh and also..Many years back I was 8 and a half stone and 5ft 3 and size 8 was too tight. She's defo bullshitting.

My sister is 5’4” and weighs 8 stone, she’s a size eight. I’m 5’7”, 13 stone and a size 14 (damn this remaining baby weight!)

Your friend is lying OP. Maybe she’s jealous of how well you’re doing?

Body's are all different shapes, my mum and i are the same height -shes 11 stone around a size 14/16 but weirdly im 16stone at a 16/18 so i do think its where you carry the weight and your style of clothing fit, however im not sure a size 8 at that weight is achievable 🤷‍♀️

While dumping a doughnut on my desk as a 'treat'

Ha ha bitch is trying to sabotage you.
She's no friend.