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Original poster

Is she just trying to make me feel shit?

73 replies

WhatamessIgotinto · 08/10/2020 21:49

I've lost almost 2 stone since May. I'm still overweight and have another stone and a half to lose before I'll be the 'right' weight for my height (5ft 2).

My friend was really supportive when I started to try to eat a bit healthier and we started at the same time. She is now constantly making digs about my having lost weight (I never mention it at all) and I really don't know why she would do this - she's also lost weight and we are now pretty much the same weight (I had more than her to lose, she was always slimmer than me) and she told me earlier that I'm clearly doing something wrong as she is now a size 8 at 11 stone (similar height) and I'm nowhere near that size and never will be. I actually don't believe her as I'm not sure how that's possible but more than that I wish she would just talk about something else rather than constantly going on about my weight.

I'm happy with my progress - it's slow and steady and manageable for me, but it's getting to the point where I can't be bothered even to see her because it's all she talks about and she always makes me feel crap!

OP posts:

Audreyseyebrows · 09/10/2020 11:02

Get new friends. Well done on your weight loss.
What’s your secret?

Qwom · 09/10/2020 11:02

She doesn't sound v supportive. I dont get size shaming. It sounds like you have done an AMAZING job! So well done! Be proud. Celebrate your body :-)

Before lockdown I was nearly 11 st and a definite size 8. I was pretty active, going to martial arts classes regularly. Lockdown happened, I stopped exercising, gained 2 stone - eep!
Have returned to my activity levels, lost 1.5st but am now a large 10/12 which I'm not angry at - I have a cleavage now! And my DP prefers the extra weight.
Everyone's equilibrium is different, we should revel in our beautiful differences!

Qwom · 09/10/2020 11:03

Oh and I'm 5'6" for ref _

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Weight management

SoUtterlyGroundDown · 09/10/2020 11:04

I'm 5' 5 and at my smallest as an adult (I struggle with my weight and binge eating so it varies) I was 12 stone and a size 12 in pretty much every shop. I was told on MN that I was lying and there was no way I could be a size 12 at that height and weight, but I was exercising obsessively, I have quite a broad frame and I promise you all of my clothes were a size 12!

That’s interesting as I’m 5ft 5 and at 12 stone I was a size 12 too!

goldrabbit22 · 09/10/2020 11:05

I genuinely don't see how she can be size 8.

I could be a size 8 in certain shops, if I squeezed them on, depending on what it is and what style or cut it is. But I'm not. I'm size 10.

Congratulations on your weight loss!

markzuckerbergsgreytshirt · 09/10/2020 11:17

Forget the size 8 comment, the real issue is someone dumping a doughnut on your desk "as a treat" whilst you are trying to lose weight is not your friend.

If you want to remain friends tell her all diet talk is out of bounds and that you don't want any more "treats". If you've got nothing else to discuss between you then you're not really friends.

SheSaidNoFuckThat · 09/10/2020 11:30

She's jealous, end of. Also I'm 5ft 2, weigh 9st and am a size 10 - she's not an 8

Trousersareoverrated · 09/10/2020 11:37

Well done on your weight loss! Of course she's jealous and threatened that you are losing weight. Does she look like a size 8? When I lost weight I was told I looked 'emaciated' - I was a size 10 at 5ft1 and bang in the middle of a healthy BMI. People get so ridiculous. Just laugh it off and be thankful for your own healthy attitude.

3rdNamechange · 09/10/2020 11:50

Last time I was a size 8 I was 8 stones and I am 5ft 9. So not sure where she's buying her clothes.

3rdNamechange · 09/10/2020 11:50

Also , congratulations 🥳

LilyLongJohn · 09/10/2020 11:58

Well done on the weight loss

She's talking out of her arse, I'm 5'3" and the only time I was a size 8 was when I was just under 9 stone. Maybe she can wear size 8 socks

Sounds like she's jealous and finding it difficult now you both weigh the same. Could be she just needs to be slimmer than you either in weight or clothes sizes. She doesn't sound like a great friend tbh.

LilyLongJohn · 09/10/2020 11:59

Oh and dumping a doughnut on your desk is just horrid of her. Sounds like she's trying to sabotage your weight loss.

amusedbush · 09/10/2020 13:23

@SoUtterlyGroundDown

That’s interesting as I’m 5ft 5 and at 12 stone I was a size 12 too!

YES, another person to prove I'm not lying or buying vanity sized clothes

oldbagface · 09/10/2020 13:31

Is she bollocks a size 8. I'm the same height and weigh 8 stone bang on. I'm a size 12. She's being a cow, a lying one at that.

AyDeeAitchDee · 09/10/2020 16:08

Another option.

Would be to thanks her excessively for the donut. And take it home for DH/DC and say how much they'll love it as they don't get much sweet stuff in the house with you being so healthy.

And then repeat.

Until she gives up because she's wasting her money.

Sewrainbow · 09/10/2020 17:54

She is not an 8! I'm 5 3 and at 11 stone I was a 16 sometimes a 14 or a v generous 12 on bottom half. Boobs have always been such that I was always a 14 on top even when much slimmer!

Original poster

WhatamessIgotinto · 09/10/2020 18:09

Sorry, forgot my phone today. You're all so lovely, thank you.
She's a work colleague who has become a friend but I'm beginning to realise that she isn't much of a friend to me. Time to take a step back.

OP posts:

CorianderLord · 09/10/2020 18:11

She's mad that you're no longer making her feel slimmer by proxy. It's a nasty personality trait but many women can turn cruel when they're worried about becoming 'the fat friend' (in their mind)

CorianderLord · 09/10/2020 18:12

And yes I don't know how she can be an 8 at 11 stone. I'm 5'3 and 9.8st and a size 10. I was an 8 at 9st but never after that. She's a bit deluded I think.

Sceptre86 · 09/10/2020 19:04

She is talking a load of pish. I am 5ft 3 and 11 stone. My body is bottom heavy and so I wear a 12 on top but am a 14/16 still on my bottom. Even at the same weight people will have different body shapes so may fit into different sized clothes. I have been a size 6/8 but had to get down to 7 and a half stone to achieve it.

You have done really well with your weight loss and it sounds like she is threatened. Do not give her head space, I would ask her if she means to be so rude to you. Honestly if this friendship doesn't enhance your life then walk away. Friends are supposed to lift each other up not drag you down. Congratulations on your weight loss, I like hearing about other people's journey as it makes me want to work harder to achieve my own weight loss goals.

Sleepingdogs12 · 09/10/2020 19:08

Well done , it is a hard slog to keep going with eating sensibly without someone sabotaging it. Your last paragraph reads like you are coming to your own sensible conclusion to back off and see less of her if she can't talk about anything else.

mbosnz · 09/10/2020 19:40

I have a friend, similar height to me, and you, and she too, is fixated on size. She's also utterly delusional about the whole thing, so I smile and nod.

TroysMammy · 09/10/2020 19:45

She's a fibber. I'm just under 5ft, 9 1/2 stone and either a 12 or 14 but usually a 14.

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