At what age do kids wipe their own bums?

[baubled]

DS is 3 and started school nursery a couple of weeks ago and he's always coming home in streaked underwear when he's had a poo at school. He does try to wipe his own bum but hasn't quite mastered getting fully clean, I was assuming this was normal for 3/4 but maybe not?

Talk to nursery. At 3 they should be helping him if he needs it.

Yeah I'm going to have a chat in the morning (if I'm allowed due to COVID!) I was just wondering what the norm was

My 4 year old still doesn't do his! I won't let him as I don't trust him! 3 is quite young I think.

My son is only just 4 (end of July) and started reception in September. We are still mastering bum wiping so I wouldn't worry too much. Luckily he has number 2s most mornings before going in!
I think they give them the opportunity to clean as much as they can but won't leave your child itchy or uncomfortable. Obviously current situation I don't know how much they can help out. Just keep practicing at home and he will get there.

As a childcarer it can be a little tricky if you don’t know they’ve even been for a poo. I do tell my little ones to always let me know if they need help but as they get older they get a bit embarrassed.

I'm an early years practitioner, I'd always help a child if they asked. We don't routinely do it though as some children sort themselves out, so wait to be asked or parents tell us they need helping.

I'd definitely say something, the nursery shouldn't mind - they'd rather you did. If you can't speak to them do you have another way to communicate? Famly app?

Once their arms are long enough! In all seriousness their arms aren't quite long enough until they're about 4 so still need a hand to be fully clean. Nursery should be happy to help him as long as he lets them know he's going to the toilet.

Can't remember exact age but Ds hadnt mastered it perfectly yet when he started primary aged 5. Thankfully his body clock was set to poo in the evening so it was never a big problem.

@OddSox123 leaving him itchy is unfortunately what they're doing, I'm guessing it's probably either COVID or him not telling them he needs help.

Successfully? Girls about 7, boys about 22.

Mine is 5 and still asks me to wipe his bum 🙄

I have a 3 year old at school nursery and unfortunately they are left to it as the staff are not allowed to help clean them at all. It’s far from ideal. If they know they are dirty then will ring for us to collect them.

@Goinghometocallie 🤣🤣

@Nomorescreentime I'm wondering if ours are the same, they're not allowed lunchboxes, not allowed to send their spare bag of clothes home so I can see this being a thing, it would be nice if it was communicated though, something they seem to be lacking.

I was still helping mine at age 6

I still do 7 year old DS’s bum for him blush]!!

(Dd was managing on her own from about 4 so I agree with you @Goinghometocallie )

@okilydokily to be honest it wasn't something I had thought much about until he said he was doing it himself at school, that's when we started getting him to do it himself at home too

5ish....by 6 definitely should be doing it themselves, or atleast attempting quite a good job

They should start doing it independently at 3, if they still need help for a bit then no problem but by 4 they should be doing it themselves every time.

My nearly 6 year old has just about got the hang of it (thank goodness!)

Mines not yet 2 and had a go the other morning, she looked chuffed with herself but I was horrified she'd gone back to front arms are still to short

There's that video of a teacher showing her class how to do it with balloons, those kids don't even look school age I think but idk how good they'd actually be at doing it themselves

I think it's control freakery on my part. I knew they weren't doing a very good job of it and wanted to make sure they were clean! Definitely agree girls seem to manage better than boys. And the "short arms" thing does seem to be right. My two physically couldn't reach when they were 3 and 4. At 5 they were still cack-handed (pardon the pun) and at 6 I guess we were all just a bit lazy/complacent with it, and did it for them because it was quicker and easier.

Dd was about 4, ds who has mild sen is 7.5 and doesn't attempt it due to coordination issues and he also has some food intolerances so it can be a bit of a challenge anyway.

Ask them for help, it is a skill and he shouldn't be allowed to get sore or smell etc

My son was 8.😱(Has Dyspraxia so his coordination isn't the best)

Are they not providing wet wipes to use after? If not can you send some in?