At what age do kids wipe their own bums?

[baubled]

DS is 3 and started school nursery a couple of weeks ago and he's always coming home in streaked underwear when he's had a poo at school. He does try to wipe his own bum but hasn't quite mastered getting fully clean, I was assuming this was normal for 3/4 but maybe not?

@maybelaterdear

My son was 8.😱(Has Dyspraxia so his coordination isn't the best)

My ds probably has mild dyspraxia (I have it myself). At 8 he tries very hard to get himself clean but prefers for me to "check" after. Up until age 6ish he absolutely had to be helped, or he would end up raw and sore. Hence him wanting checked, he remembers that.

He is still terrible at it, and not for want of trying. Some kids really do take absolute ages. I was the same, it is embarrassing but just one of those things.

They should be trying from being potty trained, around 6 months-year from being trained is normal to get wiping unless the were trained very young (their arms aren't proportionately as long when toddlers). There's no set age because they train at dramatically different ages (I had one dry at 6 one at 3!)

@AlwaysLatte I'm really not sure, I'm going to find out tomorrow though. I'll definitely be sending some in if I'm allowed but I doubt it.

He's only been there 2 full weeks and some days he's been in the morning at home so it's not been an issue, other times it's just a few streaks but today there was quite a lot and his bum was not clean at all (the other times the same but not as bad).

I think we were spoilt at his old nursery, there was more staff so they could keep track of who was on the toilet doing what and their communication was always great so we knew what the score was. Communication on what is/isn't expected or needed is non existent but I'm assuming that's fairly normal in "big" school

@okilydokily unfortunately for DS he's inherited short arms from me (I still can't find a coat with arms that go to my wrist rather than fingertips) so maybe this is also part of the problem.

@Goinghometocallie

Successfully? Girls about 7, boys about 22.

Lol.

DS has just turned 5 and does it in school but about 50% of the time at home

DD is 5 (just started reception) and has pretty much got it now.

I checked her the first few times she did it herself to make sure she was clean, teach her the proper technique, showed her how to fold the toilet paper... and then she gained her confidence to do it herself.

I think it's just one of those things. It clicks when it clicks.
Saying that, if she's feeling lazy, she still calls me to do it

DS1 still has occasional help at 9 but he has dyspraxia and ASD, and his gut bacteria never really seemed to get over the multiple food allergies of infancy...

Mine seemed to struggle with short arms until 5 and I've phased off from 6-7.

Ive a boy (9) and girl (8). Both have been capable of wiping their own bottoms for several years, but speaks volumes of how lazy boys are because my son still gets his dad (my ex) to wipe his bottom...even my daughter thinks it's weird!

Its gross to be wiping an NT child's bum for them at age 7,8,9 if they're physically capable of doing it for themselves. What else don't you let them do for themselves?!

As a mother of 4 boys, 6-7 years is about the average I stopped. I kind of left it up to them to let me know if they needed help.. A shitty bum is pretty uncomfortable so they learnt to do it properly around that age.

I've had a quick word this morning and the teacher said they will wipe him but "not like you would though" which doesn't really make sense to me because I just wipe him normally until he's clean .

She said they just can't keep track of everyone and don't know if they're going for a poo or not which I get, I think it's going to be a case of really drilling down on it at home and getting him to tell the teachers that he needs help!

Thanks for all the replies

DS1 was 10. I begged for it as a birthday present He does have ASD though.
DS2 was 7.
DS3 was 6 ish - although he's almost 10 now and will only consider going for a poo with the triumvirate of wifi, VIPoo spray and wet wipes.

DD was 2

Mine is 8 and still calls me we have tried to encourage her to do it herself but she isnt very successful at doing it properly. Not a fan but what can I do hopefully she will get the hang of it soon

@Goinghometocallie

Successfully? Girls about 7, boys about 22.

This

DS was probably 4, possibly 3. At home we have wet wipes for this which must be easier than toilet roll*, and I think probably while he was at nursery he had wet wipes too, but obviously had to manage with toilet roll once he started Reception. He mainly goes at home though.

(DD is 2.5 and nowhere near ready to wipe herself, although has been easily toilet trained for about 6 months.)

• I realise this is not environmentally great, but as we are otherwise non-driving, cloth-nappying, mindful about consumption and use of plastics etc, I’m willing to make this concession to more pleasant wiping.

6 in this house! Ds has finally mastered it

[quote tootiredtothinkofanewname]@NellWilson

why not cloth wipes if you use cloth nappies? As long as you wash at 60 you can wash together with the babies nappies. Our 7yo dd uses cloth wipes for no.2 (and so do I actually because it's a lot nicer down there than TP) [/quote]
Weirdly, I just feel a bit yucky about it. I used cloth wipes for the baby while she was in nappies, and I wouldn’t mind still using them for her now (although no longer do a nappy wash, so not as convenient), but I really don’t fancy having a washing bucket hanging around with wipes me and the 8 year old have used. I’ve done it in a pinch if we’ve run out of disposable wipes, because agree, much nicer than toilet paper! But I just feel a bit icky about it as a main solution somehow.

If you start properly teaching them at 2 or 3 they will be fine at doing it themselves by 4. (SEN excluded)

Don't underestimate how early some kids learn the if I do something badly Mummy will do it for me trick!

And be careful if you have an incredibly literal child like mine- me telling him to keep wiping until the toilet paper is clean left out the critical step of changing the toilet paper between wipes.

By starting school nursery I made sure she was doing the first wipe by herself and I taught her to do it independently for starting reception. 2 members of staff to 30 kids means they can’t be watching out to check what happening with bum wiping all the time.