If I said "get some cheese spread"

[PomBearWithoutHerOFRS]

What would you get - Dairylea type, or Philadelphia type?
What would you call the other type?

Deffo cathedral city spread.

I tried the cathedral spread one as I thought it might be less messy (I love to lie in the sofa after dinner with a place of cheese and crackers balanced in my belly and a glass of port). I didn’t like it!

Spready cheese in a tub = cream cheese.
I've not eaten primula since I was a kid, likewise dairylea etc, and didn't realise adults ate it tbh so I'm with your DH on this one!

Cheese spread is a multitude of things in our house,
Dairylea,
Philadelphia,
President Camembert,
Saint Agur.

I can't be doing with people who give a vague request for chocolate, crisps etc then get pissed off because they actually wanted something very specific, 'Happy Cow Milka' or 'bbq beef big hoops' for example.
Use your words to avoid disappointment.

You can get Dairylea in a tub as well.

"spready cheese, in a tub, not the triangles cos I can't unwrap them"

It's obvious you want the supermarket own brand equivalent to Dairylea. If you wanted Philadelphia or similar you wouldn't have said "not the triangles", and if you wanted a specific brand you would have mentioned it.

Dairy Lea is the food of angels
Mmm

Dairylea is the food of angles. Tri-angles.