Rude or insensitive things friends have said...

[pattyre]

Been thinking about this after reading a post earlier about jealously, which is where I think lots of these sorts of comments come from! I’ve NC as I’m worried mine could be outing!

When I was 24 I got a job at a city accountancy firm and my (then) best friend said no man would ever fancy men now I had out earned them and I would be ‘back up north where I belonged in no time.’

I’d spent the last four years sitting exams to get the job and this was very crushing to me at the time.

Same friend also said she would hate to have to live in a crumby flat like one of our mutual friends. At the time I lived in a much smaller flat...

I’m actually now wondering why I stayed in touch with her!

Anyone else got any crackers?!

*fancy ME now, not men!

A close friend told me “in a few years your youngest ds will leave home and you will have nothing then”!!

Bizarre really as I have a strong happy marriage and am looking forward to retirement with Dh. I think that comment came from insecurity about her own marriage.

Talking about an ex boyfriend of mine dating someone new a friend said “I’m not surprised, he’s got a bit of a type. She’s quite.... plain like you”!
Some people have no filter!

Joining in a conversation with what i thought were friends at a bar. Man turns round and foes “it’s not your fault, but you’re just quite boring”

There’s having no filter and then there’s just rude and thoughtless

I sent a wedding invitation to an old friend who I had lost contact with for a few years and her response was “gosh, you’re the last person in the world that I thought would have a baby and get married.”

When I told a good friend that I was pregnant her only response was “I didn’t realise a baby was in your life plan.” I thought eh? I’d always wanted to have a family.

My ‘D’M told me I should have got cancer instead of my cousin, as she was married with a family and I, at the time, was not.

"I heard about your... problem"
Senior colleague to me when telling me she knew about my pregnancy (which was planned and in no way a problem)

Someone told me I ate regularly. It was meant as a derogatory comment. Never really understood why they felt the need. I have an eating disorder. I fail at eating just three times a day all the time. I struggle with my food all the time. Why say that.

Someone else told me that I lived on my nerves. Again meant as a derogatory comment. Had been diagnosed with pnd.

Why do people feel they have the right to comment on people. Right to their face. I would never see a flaw in someone and shove it right in their face. I assume it makes them feel better about themselves.

Told FIL & his wife I was pregnant. She said 'I thought you'd be barren at your age'. I was 35.

Woman at work: 'Are your glasses on wonky? No, it's probably your face'

My mother - after my mc of an surprise but very much wanted baby "well at least it wasn't planned - that would have been worse"

My mother - when I was upset no one (not even family including my brothers) had sent a card or rung me to congratulate me on the birth of my 4th child "well no one cares when it's your 4th", which was bad in itself but I'm also HER 4th!!

I have many others that my mother has said....we are low contact...

I told one of my oldest and closest friends that I was pregnant after my dating scan. Her reply "Congratulations! Me too, I've known for a while but only told my close friends"

Colleague who was having fertility treatment told me after my fourth mc "well, at least you know you can actually get pregnant"

Gee, that makes me feel a whole lot better

Friend telling me that although she knew it wasn't by choice, she would hate to have her hair as short as mine as 'no one suits it' while in the next breath telling me I'd lost too much weight. I had cancer at the time.

What a mess, wow what an utter bitch she sounds

When I was a teenager, my best friend and I applied for the same job (in fashion retail). When my friend was offered the position, my mum said “Ah well I’m not surprised she got it. She looks more suited for it- she’s so slim and pretty”

I can’t have children it difficult but I don’t talk about it. At a client function my workmate saying ‘oh I had two sons but bashful hates kids!’ I was speechless I have never given the impression I hate children!

why do we put up with these people; they are not friends, but merely acquaintances, and prey upon that acquaintance to be rude, sneering, arrogant, unkind prats.
time to cut em off.

When i was widowed: "don't worry, you're young enough to get married again". DH wasn't even cold. We hadn't had his funeral at this point. I think it was meant to make me feel better but it was so upsetting to hear.

When I got pregnant a colleague asked if it was planned because I wasn't the type to have kids.

My best friend and bridesmaid told me I was always miserable. This was because I had just given up a life and job I loved and moved to the opposite end of the UK and I couldn't find a job when I had worked constantly since the age of 16, didn't know anyone and was finding it hard to adjust. This was someone I spent many a time listening to in floods of tears day and night through several periods of her life regarding partners or her job how everyone hates her at work, always taking her calls even at 1am to listen and be there for her. As soon as I have a hard time, apparently I'm always miserable?! She got a boyfriend by this point so I was no longer needed apparently. We haven't spoken for years now. I feel sad about it but I think she won't care about me so long as she has her boyfriend.

Being told on the phone "Oh... you're going to be OLD. An OLD mum. You are going to be SO TIRED and feel SO OLD" when announcing my second pregnancy (a wanted one) at age 39.

Said friend also had a baby late, at 43. She has weight and health problems and I think she was projecting or trying to make herself feel better.

I found said pregnancy (and the baby period that came afterwards) mostly quite nice and actually easier than my first pregnancy and baby in my early 30s, so yah boo to her comments.

‘I’m surprised you never had a nose job. I mean, it’s not a small nose, is it?’

Best friend of thirty years standing said that. We’re not in touch any more.

‘God, you really want to leave work, don’t you?’ SIL, on hearing of my first pregnancy. Sadly, we’re still in touch.

‘I feel like doing a LunaNorth.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘Staying in bed all day.’

From a sibling. For the record, I have a job, I’m doing my Masters, I run, swim, do yoga and myriad other things with my time. But I also have medically diagnosed anxiety, and we’d just lost our mum, so there’d been a couple of bad days.

Now known as ‘doing a Luna’, apparently.

I think I'm very lucky with my friends. They are so so nice to me.

"Short people can't be sexy, short people are cute. Like I wish I could be cute but I'm too tall and my boobs are just SO big. You're lucky though cos your face is round and cute."

"I knew you were together but I didn't know you were together together, so I flirted and tried to get him alone at work a lot." "Well we've been divorced for years and he's single so you can have him (sarcastically)" Oh my god HEART EMOJI"

Neither are my friends anymore!