14 year old only eating rubbish when left alone

[losenotloose]

Would this annoy you? I can't tell if I'm expecting too much. Ds1 is having to isolate at the moment due to a positive test in his bubble. We have plenty of food in the house he could eat but he just eats rubbish. As an example today he's eaten plain boiled noodles, a scotch egg, a giant cookie and a packet of crisps. He ate similar yesterday. I buy these things to go in packed lunches and as occasional treats. I'm disappointed that he is lazy to even make a sandwich but also doesn't see the big deal. Am I wrong to just stop buying this stuff? Packed lunches can be boring from now on.

@Graphista
Thank you, that's very constructive! I didn't even think to talk to him about what he could eat, just thought he'd realise. Like I say, I've never had to leave him before.

Right now even beans on toast wouldn't happen, he won't consider cooking. But maybe a discussion each evening of a sensible lunch choice along with a treat will help. Everything's so hard at the moment! The home schooling is a nightmare, technology frequently going wrong and laziness are not a good combination.

If you want 14 years old to eat better, you need to prepare it for him, I think. If you normally make sandwiches for packed lunch for him, can you make it even he is at home?
Or just leave some left overs from night before for his lunch that he can just microwave?

I wouldn't worry too much, as PP have said. I remember going rummaging and eating a whole tub of silver cake decorating balls when I was a teenager!

U should see what my 15 year old boy wolfs down him!

Mine won't cook, but he will assemble beetroot falafel, vintage cheddar, and pepper sauce in a wholemeal tortilla. The exact same thing day in and day out for months. I do cook different foods for dinner! Also eats healthy snacks but that is all that he makes. Just find something he likes and will make that you are also happy with?

It’s one day I am sure he will get fed up with junk food after a couple of days. I presume you are cooking his evening meal providing that’s balanced I wouldn’t worry to much.

It's really easy to be close to a situation so you're unable to think of solutions when if a friend was asking you, you'd be able to think!

Emotions can freeze brains sometimes.

My mum has done similar for me as has my closest friend, but I've done similar for them (I hope!)

And really that's what we hope for from mn when we're struggling with issues like this isn't it?

When dd was first diagnosed and one of the main pieces of advice re the eating issues was that she's best eating 6 small meals a day than 3 "squares" I was completely thrown initially! My friend was able to "talk me down" as she cares for her elderly dad and he has some stomach issues and can't manage large meals and she was able to advise me to "break it down" and remember I didn't have to try and squeeze all the food groups into every meal I could have dairy and carbs in one meal and veg and protein in another etc as long as over the day she was getting enough cals and nutrition. Getting enough cals into dd is REALLY hard because she tends to the low cal in preference but has a high metabolism. Milk based drinks help a lot with that!

ALL that said my diet as a 14 year old was horrific when it was up to me! I DID like Chips, and chocolate, and ice cream, and crisps... I was also extremely slim at that time so my parents weren't so much concerned with that side but they did worry about the lack of nourishment, dad would be like "get some fruit" soon as I got in the door with a bag of chips in hand and mum really upped the veg and protein in our evening meals.

Bro was shooting up around the same time as I recall (he's a 6.5 foot block of cop these days!) and was eating them out of house and home! Just seemingly unfillable!

Teens especially boys (not because of gender roles but physiology) need more cals than not only younger dc but most adults too.

I have a "treasured" family photo my sister took of me as a size 4 tiny 15 year old in a swimsuit at local beach scoffing an "extra" size marathon! She just thought the contradiction was hilarious.

A scotch egg and some package noodles is basically the same as a ham sandwich. Protein, carbs, and fat. The poor thing is off school for two weeks probably fed up and bored. I think most of us have fancied a few extra treats in lockdown. If you’re that worked up maybe make him a packed lunch and tell him he can only have the other crap once he’s ate that. Easily solved, no one died, please OP - I’m more worried about your blood pressure than your sons diet.

I ate loads of noodles when I was younger - it may take longer to make but in terms of real effort a sandwich would require more from me (plus they're warm)

OP if you're that bothered could you prep some things you'd like him to eat? Again, a younger me appreciated a tub of tuna pasta and sweetcorn that I could take portions out of, for example.

Left alone my teen would definitely make noodles and then a pile of crap. My DC is only capable of making soup, bagels or noodles apparently, it wouldn’t enter her head to make something other than these things. It’s just one of those things with teenagers, they don’t stand in the kitchen and think ‘what healthy and nutritious meal can I make?’ - they just open the cupboards or fridge and expect something to jump out at them!

If I came home after DD spent the day at home alone and she’d only eaten a cookie and crisps treat wise - I’d see that a victory to be honest!

@losenotloose

It works better if you do. Less telepathy, clearer explanations. I just don't see the need for comments like that. I'm learning as I go along, I've never had to leave him for long periods of time before.

It wasn’t meant unkindly, you assumed he’d know, you thought he’d make a sandwich, you expected him to make better dietary choices...but you didn’t say anything specific and he didn’t do what you wanted. And now you’re annoyed, and he’s confused. That is, if you’ve said anything, and aren’t just limiting yourself to fuming on MN. Otherwise you’re annoyed and he’s oblivious. And he’ll do it again.

Completely normal!

I was hoping he might make his own sandwich really but clearly my expectations were too high!

Yeah, sorry. sometimes they need to do wrong things to learn how to do right things.

Think that’s exactly what any 14yo boy would eat left to their own devices! Don’t think a cookie and a packet of crisps is really eating all the treats in the house either

My DS15 is also isolating due to a burst bubble. As he’s isolating and needs to avoid sharing kitchen/ bathrooms if possible I’d been providing him with breakfasts and a packed lunch plus plenty of snacks to keep him going.
Today he had porridge with cinnamon and raisins for breakfast and I left him a chicken and bacon salad sandwich, dried apricots, an apple, an orange, crackers, a pepperami, three biscuits and a pack of quavers plus water and fruit juice.
Since 5 he’s also eaten toast, a penguin (chocolate not bird) and his dinner. So, not the healthiest but balanced ish (with enough treats he’s not tempted to raid the kitchen and break isolation, plus I don’t want to make it more miserable for him than it need be).
Comparatively your DS is eating hardly anything! If you want to control the quality of his food could you provide it? It makes sense from an isolation point of view too.

You could leave him a made up lunch and tell him thats all he can have
When mine are left alone they just eat easy to grab stuff and rarely bother to make a sandwich

Also what so good about a nutritionally wise ? Unless it was brown bread , with lots of salad And maybe a sliced egg etc or hummus and roasted veg
If just ham and butter on white prob no worse than the scotch egg and noodles ( maybe few more cal and salt )

I also had to give my 2 a box of treat type stuff for a week and once it was gone it was gone as they just helped there selves to unlimited crap after school and school hold
To force them to throw some beans etc inmicrowave

I wouldn’t consider any of those items “treat” items? Sounds like normal food to me. Teenagers get super hungry

Most teenagers are like this, then they hit their twenties and find they can't eat rubbish anymore, and they start eating properly. It happened to me and all my brothers. He'll probably eat whatever is in the fridge and doesn't require any effort, so you could try making pasta salad or sandwiches etc in advance. He might even eat beans if they're decanted into a container in the fridge, rather than in a tin in the cupboard, just because they're there. It's all about the effort required.

As long as he's getting one good cooked meal a day I wouldn't worry. It will presumably only be for a couple of weeks and then he'll be back to eating packed lunch/school dinners.

ONLY one cookie and one packet of crisps? I would say good on him for restraining himself as there is no way I could just eat one cookie! Could you ask him for some self discipline techniques and send them this way please?

He's 14. You're expectations are far too high.

Your*

@losenotloose

I'm really surprised at the comments. No veg, no fruit just processed rubbish but it's fine!

Well its not great but it's just what most teens do. You seem to be getting really angry with people telling you its pretty normal for a teen left alone to do this.

As for the obesity crisis

DS goes and plays football or cycle ramps for 4/5 hours at a time, he walks to and from school, plays cricket. He eats twice what I eat and is skinny.

Teens use a lot of energy and need a refill.

That’s how it works, teen boys also are still growing till they’re 18. They need the calories.