Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

14 year old only eating rubbish when left alone

103 replies

losenotloose · 30/09/2020 18:04

Would this annoy you? I can't tell if I'm expecting too much. Ds1 is having to isolate at the moment due to a positive test in his bubble. We have plenty of food in the house he could eat but he just eats rubbish. As an example today he's eaten plain boiled noodles, a scotch egg, a giant cookie and a packet of crisps. He ate similar yesterday. I buy these things to go in packed lunches and as occasional treats. I'm disappointed that he is lazy to even make a sandwich but also doesn't see the big deal. Am I wrong to just stop buying this stuff? Packed lunches can be boring from now on.

OP posts:
losenotloose · 30/09/2020 18:42

18:41Branleuse thank you! I think I needed to give him more guidance than I thought.

OP posts:
vanillandhoney · 30/09/2020 18:43

@losenotloose

I was just using a sandwich as an example. Bloody hell!
Sure, but the point is that a sandwich isn't necessarily healthier than many other things, yet your post seemed to point to it being so.

If you don't want him eating junk, don't buy it. Or buy a set amount each week and let him self-regulate. But don't buy it in then make him feel bad for eating it. Lots of adults have struggled with their diets over lockdown - I think your expectations of a bored 14yo are exceptionally high.

Blulorry · 30/09/2020 18:43

I don’t see the big deal OP. Unless you put veg in a sandwich... I think it’s totally fine what he ate.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

losenotloose · 30/09/2020 18:44

@Smallsteps88 is that aimed at me?

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtains · 30/09/2020 18:45

He also has school dinners and eats crap there too. Im fighting a losing battle

I agree, @Branleuse, my DS's school canteen was a heaving mass of burgers and chips and cookies. Ridiculous.

FubsyRambler · 30/09/2020 18:45

@losenotloose

18:41Branleuse thank you! I think I needed to give him more guidance than I thought.
It works better if you do. Less telepathy, clearer explanations.
losenotloose · 30/09/2020 18:47

It works better if you do. Less telepathy, clearer explanations. I just don't see the need for comments like that. I'm learning as I go along, I've never had to leave him for long periods of time before.

OP posts:
Straven123 · 30/09/2020 18:48

Don't have the rubbish food in the house. I still don't buy crisps, some chocolate but 1 small bar, no choc biscs, cake, because I cannot resist them if they're there. And i'm 65. For now, while the pandemic is on buy healthy only.

Smallsteps88 · 30/09/2020 18:48

[quote losenotloose]@Smallsteps88 is that aimed at me?[/quote]
Not aimed at you but inspired by your thread. And not just about you, I see it a lot. People have strange ideas about what constitutes healthy food and healthy eating habits.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 30/09/2020 18:49

You should consider yourself lucky. We could do with someone like him here. Our rubbish bin only gets emptied every second week and it's near to overflowing.Wink

BrieAndChilli · 30/09/2020 18:52

@losenotloose

I'm really surprised at the comments. No veg, no fruit just processed rubbish but it's fine!
You should not look at 1 meal in isolation. Look at his diet over a whole week. You should find that he is eating plenty of fruit and veg etc. Make sure his breakfast and evening meal are healthy and let him have free rein for his lunch.

Is a white bread sandwich with ham, egg and butter much healthier than a scotch egg (sausage meat, egg, bread crumbs and the oil?)
Plain noodles aren’t too different to pasta which you say he has pasta salad?
Cut up some fruit and veg into Tupperware in the fridge, make up a mixed salad or make him a sandwich like you normally do.
Most teens will reach for whatever is easiest and yummiest.

Branleuse · 30/09/2020 18:58

I dont think a scotch egg is that bad. Or make up a load of hard boiled eggs for snacks. Put healthy snacks he can grab in the fridge.

Minimumstandard · 30/09/2020 19:04

How many giant cookies and packets of crisps did you have in the house? If he stopped at one of each when there were more, he clearly has a reasonable level of self-restraint.

minipie · 30/09/2020 19:09

I’d not be delighted in your shoes OP, but tbh at 14 I’d have done similar. Wouldn’t you?

If I were you I’d hide away the treats from now on and give him a list of ideas for lunch. Then treats can happen after dinner when you’re home.

AgentProvocateur · 30/09/2020 19:13

I’m 53 and home alone tonight. I’ve had ice cream for my dinner Grin

Goatinthegarden · 30/09/2020 19:14

When we were teens, my brother would have just eaten crap. My mum would leave his lunch pre-made in the fridge with explicit instructions that that was to be eaten before anything else. We had treats, but we knew how many/what we could have and we knew to respect the limit. There was always a ‘if you’re still hungry’ healthier option too.

I don’t think it sounds like he has eaten more than the average teenage boy would. Teenage boys need a lot of calories (I think 2800ish?) and although it’s not the most nutritious food, I doubt it’ll do him any harm for a short period of time.

5GoldRing · 30/09/2020 19:15

I wouldn't think it's fine... I'd agree with you OP. But I wouldnt have the crisps and cookies in the house for him to raid in the first place.

losenotloose · 30/09/2020 19:16

minipie absolutely! I think part of the frustration is that he will never make food for himself! If I had come home to a home made cake I would have fainted! He won't get involved in the kitchen. (Awaits a flurry of negative responses along the lines of well it's your job to teach him to cook, cake isn't healthier than a cookie etc etc).

OP posts:
schoolcook · 30/09/2020 19:17

I haven't read the whole thing but I have two boys who would only eat beige rubbish all through their teens. They now both meal prep for the week and it's all salmon chicken and veggies with rice or sweet potato. I think most grow out of it.

Maryann1975 · 30/09/2020 19:17

I was exactly like this as a teenager. My school dinner money was spent on a chocolate bar and maybe crisps in the tuck shop At morning break and then a portion of chips and a cake for lunch. I used to have a carton of milk too and reassured myself that the milk made up for all the rubbish I was eating. Obviously I went home and told my mum I was having shepherds pie, roast dinner, lasagne, pasta bake (all the things she would have approved of for school dinners).
My own dd would eat rubbish and snacks all day put would probably make some kind of omelette for lunch but eats when bored so would easily get through all the snacks if she thought she could get away with it. She also walks through town on her way to and from school and I am under no illusions that she stops in the co op to buy junk on her way home.

I actually don’t think his menu for the day sounds that bad tbh, it could be far worse! As long as he has a proper main meal with you in the evening, I wouldn’t worry too much.

losenotloose · 30/09/2020 19:17

@AgentProvocateur
And sometimes they have cake for breakfast! I'm not a food fascist...

OP posts:
Graphista · 30/09/2020 19:18

I think all posters care meaning is this is fairly typical teen behaviour

But rather than getting stressed at people online find solutions.

What foods does he enjoy and he is likely to bother quickly preparing or grabbing himself?

I went through something similar with dd when she left school and was working shifts:

She was constantly knackered and couldn't find the energy/motivation to make herself decent pack ups or meals when home.

I'm disabled and unemployed and while I agree older teens and young adults are and should be expected to be perfectly capable of cooking for themselves, I did the shopping/planning what was bought in and I had more time on my hands to prepare and plan solutions so that she was eating more healthily

She's also disabled and her disability means she struggles with large meals anyway, certain foods cause her pain in various ways so she naturally doesn't eat them and she struggles to maintain a healthy weight as in she tends to the very slim bordering on underweight.

So I got in for her or planned and made certain things that were better nutritionally but also quick and easy for her to either grab and eat or took very little prep on her behalf

Things like:

Fruit - long life items that survived the tramp to work better than our usual softer more fragile choices - bananas (even got her one of those banana holders as a "novelty" but useful stocking filler one Christmas) apples, pears...

Veg that was either naturally quick and easy to grab and eat or was in "snack" form - cherry toms, carrot sticks, celery sticks, baby corn (can be eaten raw), cucumber sticks...

Home made soup - I like making soup and like eating it (having some tonight myself as didn't feel like having a big meal) - either it's handy in fridge for him to quickly heat up, even in a pan doesn't take long, microwave if you have one is even quicker or you could even leave it him already heated in a flask

Leftovers can also be pointed out to him as quick to heat up in micro for a hot snack/meal

Re noodles - I have noodles on occasion as sometimes I don't feel like cooking or I'm too sore to stand for very long, even things like pot noodles can be quickly and easily "boosted" nutritionally by the quick addition of tinned veggies (which are already cooked really) like tinned corn or carrots or frozen veg like peas you can add a handful and then pour the water on and they cook fine.

Also maybe entice him with novelty "gadgets" ?

I have toastabags which as well as toasties you can cook other things in too - bacon rashers, fish fingers, veggie burger patties, potato waffles, mozzarella sticks...

Microwave omelette maker might tempt him to make those, eggs make loads of quick easy nutritious dishes you could even make an oven frittata/crustless quiche when the ovens on for cooking something else and it can be eaten as a leftover in following days, even reheated in micro

Sometimes a little bribery and corruption works too!

Bet him £5 he can't eat 5 a day every day for 5 days - and you want proof! People like challenges like this.

When I say "you" if dad/stepdad is also in the home I mean he could cook/prep stuff too - lead by example as it were.

And remind him of healthy meals/snacks that are easy and he probably really likes - I reminded dd at one point she used to love beans on toast with grated cheddar and she was like "ooh I forgot about beans!" And so if I was doing a dinner with beans I'd put the other half in a pack up pot for her to take to work the next day or day after.

Once dd had the encouragement and I gave her some ideas and she was adjusting to the shifts and not quite so knackered she started coming up with ideas of her own.

Agree school dinners are shit these days! Especially if you've a kid who doesn't like potatoes especially chips!

losenotloose · 30/09/2020 19:19

@schoolcook that's reassuring, there's hope for us yet!

OP posts:
ProperVexed · 30/09/2020 19:22

@IamTomHanks GrinGrin

schoolcook · 30/09/2020 19:22

@losenotloose definitely !
Just ride the waves 😁