@AlexaShutUp
It has nothing to do with shit parenting, I'm sure. It doesn't sound as if you just haven't tried. More likely to be due to some kind of SEN/medical issue, I'd have thought, or simply a case of him developing according to his own timetable.
I understand that it's challenging for the school, but they need to make reasonable adjustments for him. They might be able to require that you (or someone else) goes in to change his nappy though, which would be difficult if you have to work.
Also from the Eric website: "It is not generally acceptable practice to ask parents to come into school to change their child after they've wet or soiled themselves."
- Are schools allowed to call a parent or carer in to change their child if they've had an accident?
Although school staff should use their discretion and judge each case on its merits with reference to a child’s individual healthcare plan, it is not generally acceptable practice to ask parents to come into school to change their child after they've wet or soiled themselves.
Only one member of staff needs to be present when changing a child, as long as another member of staff is nearby, so it shouldn't be necessary to call in a parent (see answer to question 2).
It is tantamount to abuse to force/allow a child to sit in wet or soiled underwear until their parent or guardian can come in to change them.
For more detail on this and other unacceptable practice, see the statutory guidance on implementing the Children and Families Act.
The Department for Education's statutory guidance on supporting pupils at school with medical conditions states it is not acceptable for schools to:
Prevent pupils from drinking, eating or taking toilet or other breaks whenever they need to in order to manage their medical condition effectively;
Require parents, or otherwise make them feel obliged, to attend school to administer medication or provide medical support to their child, including with toileting issues. No parent should have to give up working because the school is failing to support their child’s medical needs;
Prevent children from participating, or create unnecessary barriers to children participating in any aspect of school life, including school trips, e.g. by requiring parents to accompany the child.