Learning to drive when older. Help!

[OneForTheRoadThen]

I've started learning to drive at age 40. I've always had anxiety (medicated) so have put it off for years but now I have young children I really just want to be able to go on day trips or holidays without having to lug everything on public transport.

I've had 5 2 hour lessons and I just don't feel I'm getting it. I actually almost stopped my lesson yesterday and felt like giving the whole thing up. I don't understand the clutch and the bite and when you use it after braking, I still only just can go in second gear and my instructor has to literally talk me through everything. I feel like I'm never going to be able to drive independently let alone with 2 children in the back.

It doesn't help that I'm in London, zone 4, so the roads are always really busy. Everyone keeps saying 'it will soon click' but it isn't and at the back of my mind is how expensive the whole process is and how I can't afford what is obviously going to be hundreds of hours of lessons. DH doesn't drive either abs I really do want to be able to but I just feel so anxious.

I feel I would have been more gung-ho if I'd learned as a teenager and I'm cross I left it so long.

Does anyone have any success stories of not being a natural driver? Or of learning as an adult? I really need a boost.

The rule of thumb I read is that the average person needs can be double you age.

I learnt around 40 too but agree with other posters that going automatic can make things simpler as there is a bit less to think about etc. The old advice about manuals being cheaper and easier to hire etc is getting to be outdated With more hybrids and modern autoboxes. Plus automatics are much easier to use in heavy stop start traffic.

Change to auto.
My friend just has she was anxious. Failed test multiple times.
2 auto lessons and already feels test ready.

I learned at 33 for the same reasons after failing when I was 21 I gave up.

Honestly it's the best thing I ever did.. Although I am now very lazy and drive places when I could probably walk

Honestly OP, ten hours of lessons is nothing! You will get there - it just needs more time, and more lessons. I started learning to drive at 39, and I had .... 250 lessons over two years before I was ready to take the test. I had no natural ability whatsoever; it just had to be hammered in there with lesson after lesson after lesson. I still didn't feel like a proper driver after I'd passed, so I had another 50 lessons after passing.

I'd say try to get some practice in a friend's or your dad's car, just in empty car parks or really quiet roads. I'd also suggest trying different driving instructors, because they all explain things differently. I had three.

the bit I was trying to describe is when you stop at a junction on a bit of a hill you use the handbrake but then have to find the bite to get going again where as if you are stopped on flat then you don't? I don't know why

• you do, it's just that you don't notice the bite as much on the flat. It helped me a lot to read up about how cars work.

Another thing I'd suggest is looking at driving instruction films on YouTube.

Good luck - you'll get there.

I passed at 32 and have been driving now for 4 (?) Years. It took me over a year of lessons, i honestly thought I'd never get it. I learned in zone 3 london and suprisingly passed first time at a notoriously tricky test centre. I love driving now. I will drive anywhere and am so cross with myself for missing out on so many opportunities when i was younger. It took having kids to make me need to drive. I persevered with a manual although probably could have passed quicker in an automatic. I had a pair of driving shoes for lessons, my oldest most battered converse with the thinnest sole. Even a year after passing i would change specifically into these to drive. Its a cliche but you dont learn to drive until you pass and you're on your own. The instructor is helping to teach you to pass a test. The key thing for me was being able to operate the car safely whilst chatting. Instructors like to chat a bit to see if you can handle the distraction. Its also good training for screaming kids in the back. Once i got close to test ready i did an intensive burst of about 15 hours which tipped me over the edge. London driving is all about the clutch, i live outside of london now and love the country lanes. My instructor used to tell me that the difference between too much and too little clutch was the thickness of a fag paper. It doesnt feel like it now but soon youll be able to jump in the car and speed off using only one hand to steer the wheel (i do not endorse dangerous driving )

my very nervous mum learned in her 60s

Oh wow - well done your brave mum, Deadringer!

I’m 51 and I don’t drive, I’ve always been happy to walk or take the bus or train if going further afield as both are conveniently nearby. I’ve felt really cut off this year though as I don’t feel that public transport is Covid safe...so I’ve decided that I’m going to learn to drive.

I’ve not started yet as the instructor I want to use (who taught both of our sons) is fully booked up at the moment, but I’m determined to do this.

Wow @WrapTrap, you sound so similar to me, passed at the same age, similar story with lessons, passed first time surprisingly! I also have young DC and I also have a specific pair of driving shoes they're actually my mums but they have the most perfect thin sole 😂

I hope I can get out on the road and build confidence like you, I want to love driving! Still nervous at the moment 😬

@rainbowparadise get out there and drive, when i first passed i spent an entire week with my 14m old in the back driving everywhere. Get on the motorway, drive at night if you can, due to kids this is something i dont have enough practice of. I love driving by myself, during this periid ive been known to drive over an hour to pick up mates who cant drive so they dont have to get public transport to see me

@WrapTrap you're very brave to get out there straight away with such a young child! That's fantastic.

You're so right, I really do need to do it. I've been having a cider every evening so nobody can tell me to go for a drive after work 😂 I need to get over it and just get on with driving. I've still not driven by myself!