Have any of you met a true 'psychopath'

[Hearnoevilspeaknoevil]

Just wondering.
I watched Des last week and found it chilling. The utter ordinariness of Dennis Nielsen and the normalising his awful crimes.
I was thinking how terms like psycho are so overused and often used to describe overly angry or irrational behaviour.
I believe it's more about a very controlling person who operates outside any 'normal' behaviour boundaries.
I've only met one person who I would say is a psycho. Some with narcissistic traits, plenty of angry people but that cold dead reasoning and complete lack of empathy or even humanity, is much rarer.
Interested to see what others think. Or have experienced.

When my 30 year relationship came to an end I went to a psychotherapist to try and hurry up my getting over it. I can't remember what I said to the therapist in that first meeting but they said that the ex lied with ease which came as quite a shock to me , has narcissistic personality disorder (he ticked all but one of the boxes) and possible psychopathic tendencies. I have looked into it a lot since then and so many things clicked into place. I'm still learning things about him that make sense now that I 'know'.

My birthdays were always ruined in one way or another. A year or two before we split we went for a day out (something he wanted to do, of course) and there was a moment on that day that I had the feeling he was deciding whether or not to push me overboard. It was such a strong feeling that just came out of the blue.

Polyxena and those of you who agree with their rather glib post, aren't you the lucky ones for having nothing more to contribute to this thread

I agree its very pragmatic re older relatives my dd had affection for gp but not close and said similar and she was correct.

I lost my mum in a very brutal tragic way when younger, but dd was right, df was old and it was his time.

I used to work at a court as a journo and sat in the trial of the railway rapist . He was terrifying, so cold and just exuded evil.

My biological Dad is one, diagnosed. I've heard he's in prison for manslaughter now. Although, I would guess it was murder and not manslaughter given that that man didn't do anything he wasn't fully intending too, ever. I haven't seen him since I was 5 given that our last encounter involved him killing my pet hamster. For what it's worth, I've gone entirely the other way and I worry far too much about other peoples feelings and doing "the right thing". So not sure how the genetics come into play.

I met someone who was subsequently convicted of murder, when a teenager. I was shocked about their crime when it came out.

@unmarkedbythat I watched Psychopath.It shows clips of him playing with his sister and they both looked really happy but he planned to kill her and persuaded the baby sitter to go home so he could do it.It did not give a reason why he wanted to hurt his mother.She did say if he is released she will have to cut contact although she still loves him she knows he could do it again so will not let him meet his new sibling in person

In the Des programme when he was ranting about not getting any recognition for his public service, it was like watching a replay of part of my life. My ex believes he's likely to get an award from the Queen for his few years as a very ordinary civil servant. It's a shame really.

There were quite a few times David Tennant could have been playing my ex, who looked quite different to Dennis Nilson but there were chilling similarities.

Not met one but watched a documentary about Lance Armstrong and his chasing of journalists- he definitely is.

He stated that it was the grandfather's fault for choosing that particular picnic spot and then made 'jokes' about the incident,

Sounds like the kind of response you get on here from people. I wonder how many psychopaths are on MN?

Yes, my former next door neighbour. High-achiever; ran his own company. He ended up being sectioned.

I also used to teach a boy (at a college, so past school age) who I found quite disturbing; he wanted to be a paramedic, but he seemed more enthusiastic about the accidents than the care. He used to insist on handing in his work at my home, and used to wait until I was alone before ringing the bell. I never answered.

I have my suspicions about an ex's DF. He was actually a psychologist but he seemed to struggle with ordinary family life. It was like he could roleplay as a therapist position but couldn't be a family man.

My interactions with him were weird, it seemed he couldn't communicate without fitting in a sarcastic 'joke' but the 'joke' would never fit the conversation it was like he was writing a 'how to interact with non-family women who isn't a patient' because he didn't know how to.

Think when asking about my summer job in a restaurant he says 'food poisoning?' apropos of nothing. That and he was very passive aggressive in terms of controlling people. That and his sister had her own issues and looked like she was wanting out ASAP and his mother was so downtrodden. Even before my relationship with ex turned sour I made sure I avoided being around ex's DF alone because I sensed poison form him.

It makes some aspects of ex more understandable in terms of his issues and difficulties and some of his passive aggressive stunts. I hope for his sake that he's seen the poison and seen the light.

Also I don't remember his name but a CDWM competitor who kept his cereal in the bathroom and attempted to make a 'joke' at the expense of one of his (female) competitors - no-one found it funny. He was sure he would win but served pasta bake in heart-shaped dishes.
He REALLY didn't like being the only man on that show. Or losing to a woman.

Hope this doesn't kill the thread.

@JohnMcCainsDeathStare

Also I don't remember his name but a CDWM competitor who kept his cereal in the bathroom and attempted to make a 'joke' at the expense of one of his (female) competitors - no-one found it funny. He was sure he would win but served pasta bake in heart-shaped dishes. He REALLY didn't like being the only man on that show. Or losing to a woman.

Hope this doesn't kill the thread.

It sounds more like he was just very tactless and arrogant. It seems a great stretch to assume psychopathy from this (though I didn't watch that episode so don't know if there were other issues).

It is a stretch but his eyes were so dead - that is what got me. That and he was 'roleplaying' what he thought was normal - it looked an awful lot like roleplaying.

Fils eyes are soft cold. I've always thought he doesn't know how to feel or act so he relies on Mil but she's a narracisitic!

Dead eyes are no way to tell if someone is a psychopath. I do wish people would stop suggesting it is.

Of course you can’t spot a psychopath by their eyes!
They don’t display the same physical signs and actions as a person with empathy. The arrangement of their facial expression is therefore ‘off’ somehow, hence the dead eyes thing.

Of course they can display the same physical signs as an empathetic person. That's how so many of them go unnoticed in society for so long

I had a very close friend at school who's dad worked in education. He was pretty successful and seemed pleasant and charming 99% of the time. I slept over at her house once and I remember him grabbing her by the scruff of the neck and pulling her up to his height and asking her why the hell she thought that she could wear odd socks, and how embarassing she was and how the guest (me!) is so disgusted by her choosing to not wear a matching pair.

He murdered his young son a few months after that; what he did to him was totally abhorrent and I wouldn't even want to repeat it. He did this as 'payback' for his wife splitting up with him.

The dead eyes is something that many people have I think some people just show emotion in their eyes

I have often seen it at work and at time’s its when someone is paranoid

Other times they are holding on to anger or struggling with intrusive thoughts (or maybe not struggling at all)

It is something I’ve seen with people who have a diagnosis but it’s also a feeling you sometimes get from them what they can project is incredibly powerful I’ve seen highly experienced senior mh professionals feel really shaken but what - sometimes they can’t quite pinpoint

My father.
I feel very uncomfortable in his presence.
Always have.
He's very manipulative, cold, and unpredictable. I cannot get in a car with him ( I did once and I felt very unwell) as I feel like he will crash on purpose or something such like.
He is estranged from all family apart from myself who he will visit maybe once a year if he is passing my area ( with work apparently- no evidence of work) and he will only visit if my DP and DC are not around and he's not likely to be seen.
During this annual visit he will stay for an hour and make me feel on edge and inferior.
He talks constantly about himself and has grandiose plans yet seems to live in the past cursing people who wronged him.

He told me he keeps in touch because we share DNA.

Of course they can display the same physical signs as an empathetic person. That's how so many of them go unnoticed in society for so long

That's the unsettling thing. They can fool emotionally intelligent people into trusting them. Most of them must go undiagnosed if the 1/100 stat is accurate, so they're just out there, hurting people and not caring.

They wouldn't be able to do that it they were 'cold behind the eyes', or had any other distinguishing physical trait.

Their mask slips. Like the qualified professional said.

@Doginabandana

My ex. Wrecked my life and my family’s too. He took everything from me - home, savings, inheritance. Forged my signature over and over, hid documents and stole at work. He had zero empathy or ability to understand basic human emotion and nature but put on a front where he would help people in any practical way possible. He would almost force them to accept his help. He would never say no if someone asked for a lift or other favour no matter how much time it might take him or lengths he would have to go to.

He was incredibly happy in prison and seemed to see it as a new experience and chance to help others. He had no idea that he had done anything wrong and everything that landed him in jail was everyone else’s fault but his. He has no sense of shame and swans around in a religious community where he does everything from contributing to a monthly publication, sitting on committees and running events. I thought he was emotionally dead but until his crimes came to light truly didn’t think he was capable of years of deception, theft from vulnerable people as well as his wife and kids. Truly shocking. He comes across as a real ‘pillar Of the community ‘ type who seems a bit gauche and overly jolly. You would not have him pegged as a manipulative, lying, shameless bastard.

This describes my ex perfectly.