Have any of you met a true 'psychopath'

[Hearnoevilspeaknoevil]

Just wondering.
I watched Des last week and found it chilling. The utter ordinariness of Dennis Nielsen and the normalising his awful crimes.
I was thinking how terms like psycho are so overused and often used to describe overly angry or irrational behaviour.
I believe it's more about a very controlling person who operates outside any 'normal' behaviour boundaries.
I've only met one person who I would say is a psycho. Some with narcissistic traits, plenty of angry people but that cold dead reasoning and complete lack of empathy or even humanity, is much rarer.
Interested to see what others think. Or have experienced.

Very senior executive for a very large multinational. If he chose to could charm the birds from the trees. It was fascinating to see him in action. Not flirtatious, just charming. It was almost like a switch which he turned on and off. Switched on if he wanted something then switched off once he had what he wanted.

Never quite as successful in fact as his resume would suggest. Very good at moving on and up before getting found out.

There was a lot of Ted Bundy about him without the murderous rages!

All charm and manipulation but no actual substance.

I’ve encountered a few nasty pieces of work. One when I was a teen - someone I worked with. Once said if he ever saw me down a dark alley I should start running. I saw him one evening while walking somewhere with friends. He looked at me and said ‘lights are on, kid’. Chilling.

I had a housemate at uni who I have suspicions about. Very personable and even likeable, but with some issues and a total lack of empathy. Used to have a fixation with houseplants because it helped with his empathy apparently. Also used to make me watch films in the middle of the night and keep him company. I never felt in danger but I wouldn’t be surprised if he popped up on the news.

My PhD supervisor was quite Machiavellian, and probably has psycopathic tendencies. Used to have a ‘random reign of terror’ where someone would be in trouble for something at any given time. Has risen through the ranks to seniority and is generally disliked by all. Can be deluded about whatever his focus is, can’t be persuaded that something is a bad idea. Liked to implement ‘big strategy’ that is doomed to fail.

Yes, psychopathy is something we used to assess for in a previous job.

My experience was that there was something uncomfortable about working with people who scored highly for psychopathy.

I met one because of work. I never would have guessed. Everything you think of when you hear the word psychopath was not there. He seemed really nice.

gnomedeplume

Fil is exactly like that also ex head of large international company. He turns on the charm but its actually not charming at all and it's extremely transparent.

He's like a robot pushing and working and wheeling towards his goal. I'm very worried when he can contact the gc when they are older I won't be able to sheild them from his manipulation and pushing (for Mil mainly) and brainwashing.

It's so sad... He doesn't seem to genuinely love them and has no skills to build a relationship with them. It's all about talking at them how wonderful he and Mil are and how are they doing at school.. And giving them gifts like electricity sets (which are brilliant fun) but given because that's what he likes, he wants them to be engineers...

Nothing about what their interests are. He works on them when he sees them to get them back and dd will get in-car and say... I wanna sleep there...

The next day if you say 'so when do you want a sleep over' they'll look disgusted and say never!

He can only talk about very limited topics usually money oriented and everything even the war through a money lense.. He won't let you choose your own drink if he goes to the bar and let's say you did insist on one particular drink he'd let you know he brought it in a way that was the best value so at a posh event you might get a pint of pimms because that worked out at better value than half etc.

He won't let you choose your meal when eating out either.

I can't imagine fil ever shouting although his pa said my dh pushed him to raise his voice once, he does a deep sharp in suck of breath, its all internalised... And instead of anger he's focused, voice drops and goes really hard... I can't stand him.

Even my own alpha df who was also high in business, said fil gave him heart palpitations.

I met someone that for a long time I thought he had aspergers but it downed on me later that it was not that at all.

This guy killed animals as a kid, didn’t have a conscience, thought everybody (everyone) was stupid, he was very focused, very determined, he was a compulsive liar and the soul of the party. Most people thought he was lovely, caring and full of good stories.

But after knowing him and people close to him for years, I started noticing that all his charming behaviours were copied from people around him. There was a guy that he really admired and he became a copy of it: he spend hours talking about wine when he couldn’t appreciate it, he used his words as his, and at some point started telling this guy’s interesting old stories as his, by the time he had told the story several times he couldn’t remember he was lying, he was convinced it was his.

Plenty of lies and manipulation, absolute lack of a conscience and very focused on getting what he wanted.

The headteacher of a school I used to work at. There was just something not quite ‘right’ about her. I’ve met a few difficult heads, but this was on another scale. She was devoid of empathy and seemed to enjoy breaking her staff. Many of them have been of with depression due to her relentless bullying.

Yes. I used to be a criminal lawyer.

Yes. He murdered 4 people.

Someone once told me that the personality tests that Tesco puts its buyers through before hiring means that they are basically choosing psychopaths!

Haha I didn't pass that test. Clearly I'm not a psychopath.

Yes. He brutally and slowly killed his pets when he was 9 or 10, tortured a younger child when he was about 13, nearly killed someone as an older teenager and eventually took someone back to his home and murdered them in early adulthood. No idea if he was released to do it again, but I doubt that prison fixed him.

A nursing manager I had. She had absolutely cold eyes and took delight in systematically destroying anyone she saw as a threat because they were more intelligent or ambitious than she thought they should be.
She very nearly destroyed me until I realised what she was up to and she moved onto someone else when I left.
I saw her in the street years later and she still had those cold dark eyes.

She had no empathy with anyone, including patients and should never have been a nurse or in a position of power.

My ex. Wrecked my life and my family’s too. He took everything from me - home, savings, inheritance. Forged my signature over and over, hid documents and stole at work. He had zero empathy or ability to understand basic human emotion and nature but put on a front where he would help people in any practical way possible. He would almost force them to accept his help. He would never say no if someone asked for a lift or other favour no matter how much time it might take him or lengths he would have to go to.

He was incredibly happy in prison and seemed to see it as a new experience and chance to help others. He had no idea that he had done anything wrong and everything that landed him in jail was everyone else’s fault but his. He has no sense of shame and swans around in a religious community where he does everything from contributing to a monthly publication, sitting on committees and running events. I thought he was emotionally dead but until his crimes came to light truly didn’t think he was capable of years of deception, theft from vulnerable people as well as his wife and kids. Truly shocking. He comes across as a real ‘pillar Of the community ‘ type who seems a bit gauche and overly jolly. You would not have him pegged as a manipulative, lying, shameless bastard.

My DH read through a list in one of Jon Robson's books about how to spot a psychopath.
My Dad ticked something like 11 out of 12 traits. He's (as far as I know) not killed anyone but is incredibly selfish and can really only see anything from the perspective of how it affects him, relates to him etc. Most people who don't know him well find him charming and friendly.
I am, unsurprisingly, very low contact with him.

Possibly as I'm a custody visitor - I visit people who have been arrested, in their police cells, to ensure they have their PACE rights and that the custody staff are working in a safe environment. So I have met people arrested for all sorts of crimes ranging from theft to rape to murder and everything in between, but to be honest most of them have been unremarkable and I couldn't say for sure any of them were psychopaths. They tend to be very unassuming and normal (like Nilsen) so a 5 minute chat is unlikely to uncover it.

I think so- but only once and it was a child. I have taught for 23 years and in that time, a handful of students have been a bit scary - you wouldn't turn your back on them- but just one has really unnerved me - he was only at my workplace for a couple of years -(year 7 and 8)
He was very cute looking (looked young for his age and was short) and so so charming. He was utterly terrifying- very dead behind the eyes and threatening but in a way that sounded silly when you tried to explain it. I was always nervous of seeing him outside school, or him walking in to find me in an empty room. This is not like me at all- I love teaching and have taught many 'characters' but he was different. Many staff were frightened of him His home life was supportive- parents were very frightened of him too and at the end of their tether trying to get help. I can't give details of the crimes he did at the end of year 8 as they are VERY outing but he was moved away from home to secure unit. I have never forgotten the sense of fear he gave me on one occasion, it was literally like the cliché ice cold blood feeling- caused simply by the look in his eye and a turn of his neck. A really weird experience- I hope never to repeat!

Yes, I believe so
Two: both senior businessmen.
One is now dead and one still alive.

I also have an ex. DX with bi-polar and schizophrenia.
But there is something else going on there too.
Aged 72 now, but still no empathy.
Picks up people, examines their lives and then simply discards them.
Gleefully describes 'borrowing' their emotions so he can 'pass' better.
Describes himself as 'selfish' so has some awareness of his behaviour. Wouldn't attend his own Father's (lovely man, no issues there) funeral as 'the chair was uncomfortable'. Can be charming when he wishes to. Perhaps merely strong narcissism though?

As someone else has pointed out, I understand that psychopathy is a scale rather than a "yes/no" and I don't actually have much of a problem with functioning high-end-of-the-scale people in many instances.

As an example, I would rather be operated on by someone with little to no empathy for me who was meticulous and unstressed by their work than someone whose concern and empathy could distract them or cause them to suffer afterwards if something went wrong.

I also have never understood feeling actual sadness at the death of someone you don't know (the Princess Diana thing baffled me) but can't bear to watch films in which children are mistreated in the slightest way so sometimes I think it's just a case of people having different triggers.

That said, I do believe I know one 'malignant' person who'd probably score highly if he was actually honest about the checklist (unlikely). He's an acquaintance I see occasionally by virtue of common friends with dead, predatory eyes and he gives me the chills. I've spent enough time with him to truly believe he has next to no sense that other people have an internal life that is in any way important. He plays with them in a very detached way.

He happens to be intelligent with a decent job and connections. His charm, though it clearly works for him in many cases, is a bit 'off' and a lot of women I've spoken to over the years have their alarm set off around him whereas the vast majority of men seem not to. He's quite entertaining (from a distance), to be fair about it.

He's well aware that I don't like him and has prodded me on the subject a number of times. I was quite blunt with him on one occasion and he now generally leaves me alone. As it is, I think he thinks my opinion can be safely ignored so long as it doesn't seem to be having consequences for him, and I only discuss my opinion with very close friends. So, truce, I suppose. I would be very far from shocked if he had committed hideous crimes if there served his purpose or simply if he thought he could get away with it.

Someone I went to school with, they were always very troubled as a child and would do awful things, I believe he's now in prison for something equally awful.

Yes, through work. He was lovely and charming and if you didn’t know what he had done you would trust him.

A child who used to be at our school, diagnosed with several things & had other investigations ongoing when they left. Definitely the dead eyes thing going on. Big & strong for age & had to have 1:1, couldn't be left unsupervised with other kids. Other kids didn't like them. Would kick off & destroy & damage toys, furniture, fixtures & fittings. Several staff sustained injuries & child was happy & seemed to get a thrill when they had hurt someone. I genuinely believe they will end up institutionalised, not sure if it will be before or after they kill someone.

Another child, had lots of medical issues from birth and could be nasty, at first to pets & then to younger siblings. Was removed from home in the end for the safety of siblings. Again, cold eyes, hated being told no, very manipulative & granny's golden child, wouldn't have a word said against them. Spoilt siblings birthdays, blowing out their cake candles first, tantrums so attention was only on them.
Was given so much love, attention, spoilt at Christmas & birthdays & had everything a child needed. Only ever got upset when it affected them. No empathy or sympathy for anyone else.

I used to have an acquaintance (I use that term loosely) who is now in prison for attempting to murder his ex girlfriend with an axe. He always showed violent tendencies though and she wasn't the first woman he physically assaulted.