what do you do in private that you wonder if others do too

[twixter]

Me..I often interview myself when in the car as if I’m on a podcast. Any others?!

I create stories about imaginary characters like an audiobook, always starting with the female character and her full name, and that of her children. It varies. I narrate it out loud if I'm home alone or walking back from the shops (but I shut up if someone passes me)

When I'm driving I look at the last three letters on people's number plates and make up acronyms for them. For example, if the last three letters were ABC, it could be Angry Bear Cubs. It always has to be the first thing that pops to mind!

I do the number plate thing too. I also notice if there are any of the same coloured cars in a row behind or in front of me. I look at peoples faces and make up names for them based on specific features they have.

When I drive home late at night in the dark I put moody music on and imagine it's the opening scene of a thriller. I have no idea where this film is going or what the plot line is but the beginning is epic!

When entering an empty room at work, I do high pretend karate kiicks.

@OrigamiPenguinArmy

I do sports commentary for mundane daily things. “Here she comes, into the kitchen ready to tackle making dinner. This plucky woman is making a heroic comeback after the burnt curry incident of last Tuesday. She selects a tool, she’s going for a garlic crusher but at the last minute swerves and opts for a knife, will this be a good choice I wonder? Over to the fridge now, she approaches cautiously, but what’s this! She’s played a blinder grabbing both an onion and the mince in one hand...” You get the idea.

Oh my GOD I am going to start doing this

This thread is bonkers but I love it

A favourite of mine is... many years ago I flirted with the idea of joining the army. I come from a family with quite alot of army personelle but no officers and they wanted me to get my degree and apply for Sandhurst. I often imagine that I did this... but it gets worse.

While I was there or on a tour of Afgah OR through some later military event I met Prince Harry who was swept off his feet in love with me

I then often imagine my life as a member of the royal family and how this would tie into my military background...riding out in full regimentals at trooping of the colour etc....and how the public would ADORE me as a Princess who fought on the front line.

Completely bonkers. But ive even thought up documentaries that harry and I would do about the impacts of war and on leaving the army etc

OMG there are people out there who are barmier than me I love it!!

I look at myself in the mirror every morning, smile and say ‘you are OK kiddo’. Somehow it provides me with the reassurance to get through another day alone.

I also have angry discussions with someone in my family who is having an affair and in the process has abandoned her DH and all her family members, including me. It helps me to voice my hurt without saying it to her face.

Otherwise I just have long head conversations rehearsing how to deal with anything that is bothering me. My boss, the shop I bought a dodgy item from, the local garage, nothing is off limit.

I make car revving noises everytime I accelerate on a slip road

At every single set of traffic lights, in my head, I'm on the grid. I HAVE to be first off. I'm not interested in speeding but I have to have better reaction times than the car next to me.

I also imagine that I'm being followed by the car behind me and I have to lose them.

Oh and I'm always pretending (in my head, obvs) to be on a horse, jumping the cracks in the pavement. I get the right stride every single time 😁

I dance around the living room to Girls Aloud. I’m sooo good 🥳🥳 I also do air guitar to Queen!

I ask my cat for his opinion on a variety of topics.... Then talk back to myself in my "cat voice"...

@Othering

Oh and I'm always pretending (in my head, obvs) to be on a horse, jumping the cracks in the pavement. I get the right stride every single time 😁

I’ve done this my whole life

I talk to my dogs and they talk back. And by talk back, I mean I talk back on their behalf. I've given them both doggy voices. We often chat back and forth. Keeps me entertained!

When I go running I imagine I've escaped from my kidnapper (who's also a serial killer) and he's chasing me.

I pretend I am a world famous archaeologist on an important dig and about to make an important discover when I'm clearing out the cat litter tray.
That's in the top three, I think, of best things I've ever read.

Awrite, I like doing this. My favourites are the drum bit just before the chorus in 'Africa' by Toto, and the drum break in 'In the Air Tonight' by Phil Collins.
I actually do that in front of my household, who no longer bat an eyelid.

I am always on Rightmove looking at local properties and practicing in my head what I would say about them if I was an estate agent trying to sell them to customers!

It paid off when we sold our old house as the estate agent couldn’t make it for showings so I agreed to do them and bloody loved it! (And got full asking price!)