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what do you do in private that you wonder if others do too

118 replies

twixter · 18/09/2020 16:22

Me..I often interview myself when in the car as if I’m on a podcast. Any others?!

OP posts:
Millie2013 · 18/09/2020 21:30

I pretend I’m a vloggwr, going around Lidl doing “hauls” of the boring shite I buy, like tinned tomatoes. Yesterday, I found a sylvanian family burger restaurant for £7.50, that was one hell of an imaginary vlog
Blush

Giggorata · 18/09/2020 21:47

I mostly save my imaginary world for when I’m sitting about; I hadn't thought of doing it when on the move... hmm.
I'm quite clumsy, so I often use “careful, now” or if I succeed in something, I give myself a warn “well done Giggorata”.
I have the running commentary and accented animals, too. Often, my running commentary is sung operatically, as in “it's time to get the washing in. Yes! The washing, the washing, the washing. Time to get it in... be-cause it's DRY! Dry-hi-hi-hi...” etc. God help me.

secretrugbyfan · 18/09/2020 21:54

Watch porn.......well someone has to say it !!

Chesneyhawkes1 · 18/09/2020 22:09

I talk to my dogs all day and they talk back to me. They each have their own "voice". One swears a lot.

Awrite · 18/09/2020 22:15

I can't resist playing air bass and air drums to a really good solo. Think Fleetwood Mac's The Chain or Paul Simon's You Can Call Me Al for bass. Most rock for drums.

NancyBotwinBloom · 18/09/2020 22:27

@KeepSmiling89

Make up little stories about people when out for a walk or sitting in a cafe/restaurant or even when watching people walk past our house. Nothing nasty just thinking about where they're going, where they've been, who they're going to see, how they're feeling etc...
I do this.
BearPomBear · 18/09/2020 22:31

I pick my nose and eat it

NancyBotwinBloom · 18/09/2020 22:34

Pombear that's terrible.

I was a bit sick in my mouth Envy

Why do you do this?

Why does anyone do this I know it's not unusual.

Any kind of snot related thing makes me vom.

I can't read the bfg to my daughter because of the snotscumber thing.

I read that when I was about 8. I've never forgotten it.

I realise I am. Unreasonable.

Needhelp101 · 18/09/2020 22:43

I sometimes imagine what it would be like to be a werewolf and to shapeshift in public (I'm talking American Werewolf in London extremely painful shift) and what the public reaction would be.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 18/09/2020 22:43

When I am on the bus I stare out the window and imagine me racing the bus parkour-style and everyone staring in disbelief.
When I am on the train I stare out the window & imagine me racing alongside on a fleet-footed horse, often as a runaway heroine in a romantic novel, fleeing from soldiers/highwaymen etc etc

VenusClapTrap · 18/09/2020 22:49

If I’m a passenger in a car on a motorway, I mentally brush the grass on the embankment with a giant imaginary hairbrush as we go by, to get out all the trees and bushes like they are knots.

Newjez · 18/09/2020 23:14

Well, I used to plan my funeral.

I've had cancer for 15 years, so I'd pretty much got it perfect.

Then my partner suggests that we have pauper funerals, as it's just a waste of money. Oh well.

Keratinsmooth · 18/09/2020 23:15

I masterbate a lot, no one knows. Up to 5 times a day

Keratinsmooth · 18/09/2020 23:17

I’m female btw

LindyLou2020 · 18/09/2020 23:17

Am I the only crude slob on here? I fart and pick my nose........

tobermoryisthebestwomble · 18/09/2020 23:30

Every time I pick a banana out of the fruit bowl I fire it like a Glock

ItsAlwaysSunnyOnMN · 18/09/2020 23:38

I imagine myself winning an Oscar the part I played was so emotionally charged (based on true life) I get a standing ovation, I try to speak but so overwhelmed I can’t say much other than thank you, I then take a deep breath and and manage to say I just don’t know what to say but I’m not worthy the person insert name I was playing is she should win the Oscar I get another standing ovation, lip readers can read audience say she truly is beautiful and it’s generally agreed its greatest ever performance in cinematic history

I practice this often, I get quite emotional I’m not even an inspiring actress Or want to be Confused

Tillygetsit · 18/09/2020 23:59

I look at people and decide which to pair up on an imaginary catwalk Blush

abracadabra77 · 18/09/2020 23:59

I listen to rap music when alone Eminem/drake
And can sing their lyrics word for word Blush

I am also a mother of 2 and a matured office worked and would never be caught dead doing it in front of ANYONE 😁

oakleaffy · 19/09/2020 00:02

@Sundaypolodog

I'm imagine my dog is talking to me in a cockney or Birmingham accent - so I'll ask him a question and he'll reply: Oim oilroight mate, or naa oim just avin a snooze
I haven't a dog, but make up {out loud} commentaries for a friend's Lurcher She coughed, moved away, and I ''did'' her voice:

''Coronavirus! ? ...I'm being socially responsible and moving away now''

Or {Upon finding a ball}
'Wahay! their loss is my gain! Sod the germ aspect..it tastes great!''

what do you do in private that you wonder if others do too
ReginaaPhalange · 19/09/2020 00:05

I like to imagine what I'd do to certain people who have ever caused me grief if I was invisible! Shaving off eyebrows and shaving off a huge strip of hair usually right in the middle causes a smile to spread haha! A bit like a grinch smile!

I also like to imagine what I'd do if I ever won the £900million jackpot 🤣🤣🤣

Oh and I always like to keep my house as clean as possible in case I decide to start a insanely popular YouTube blog where millions follow me!

Anthilda · 19/09/2020 00:08

I mentally say that I must be at a certain tree/lamp post/bin by the time a song finishes on my headphones or I'm doomed.

I also do this up the stairs, I must get to the top before the baby gate slams behind me or bad things will happen.

I pretend to be on xfactor singing (I cant sing very well) or on Britain's got talent dancing (I'm a very good dancer). I can mentally envisage the whole dance routine and imagine i have backing dancers and we're all in sync.

I have arguments that haven't happened yet 'just incase'

I do impressions and different voices and my kids howl with laughter sometimes.

I imagine dancing at my wedding and it's either a comedy dance routine or very very romantic. Both are enjoyable to fantasize/imagine.

abracadabra77 · 19/09/2020 00:08

@unmarkedbythat

Wow, I'm exactly the same

Claricethecat45 · 19/09/2020 00:26

Oh god, I'm actually embarrassed about this but I love it.

As long as the house is empty and I have the kitchen to myself, I will get the laptop and go on You tube a find a song

Fave one being 'My World is Empty Without You ' by Diana Ross and the Supremes
Get ready to play it - finger on start button
Slap on red lippy, hook top down so shoulders are showing
flick hair wildly
and position my I phone video ready for the off

Once suitably in Soul Rock Chic headspace, I click the music on,

Bang the start button on the video and treat myself to a mimed version of Diana, head nodding, hair swishing and exaggerated mouth moves with smouldering eye action as well.....

I sound fantastic, Im on the beat and I'm hot!!!

Its my bit of fun and I play the video back and do it all again if it isn't exactly how i want it to be!!!

And I delete the next day

Love it

FenellaVelour · 19/09/2020 01:26

I tweeze hairs out of various parts of my body.

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