What's your favourite non-swearword?

[shreddednips]

DH and I are giving up swearing as toddler DS is getting quite chatty. We try not to swear in front of him but need to redouble our efforts. This got me thinking- what are the most satisfying non-swear alternatives?

My personal favourite is 'Schostakovich!' instead of shit. I also enjoy 'Jeepers!'

Bumshandyrazz - a chap I used to work with used to say it instead of swearing.

Spoon.

Both excellent options. I can imagine 'oh you spoon' as a non-profane insult.

Just remembered that my grandmother used to exclaim 'Strousers!' when something shocked her. Apparently it was short for 'God's trousers.'

Strewth

Fiddlesticks!
Fudge!
I’m Irish but live in UK, and very popular, with my elderly folks are
Jesus, Mary and Joseph, said slowly.
Also a la Father Ted, feck and shite.

Barstools

Fiddlesticks instead of FUUUUCK!!!

Crumbs

Sod?

All these are making me feel better about giving up swearing, so satisfying to say. I wasn't sure about sod, Susannahmoody. It's one of my favourites but we were strictly forbidden from saying it as children. I remember joining the guides and being gobsmacked when the leaders referred to a tent sodcloth.

Shut the front door
Barnacles
Sweet baby cheeses
Shish kebab
Makka pakka
Fox owl snake (said quickly)
Son of a biscuit

Scunge. A mix of scum and gunge to be used in place of s*.

Crikey
Blimey
Holy Mary mother of god
Jesus Mary and the orphans
Bumnuggets

Oh and

Bastidge
Icehole

Wretched, as in ‘shut the wretched door’ etc

I am also a big fan of spoon, moon, muppet and lemon.

Stick that up your cloaca and smoke it

@Igglepigglesgrubbyblanket

Stick that up your cloaca and smoke it

That's the first time I've heard the word 'cloaca' this year

Sugar/sugarplum instead of shit.

I gave up though as soon as DD was ild enough to understand why she shouldn't swear.

Plum, wazzock, spoon

Tbh I do swear in front of my kids though

I remember an episode of I'm A Celebrity where a posh guy who did something for the royal family (David Something????) was doing a challenge. When he went wrong he went "UGHHHHHHH" and I was waiting for the BEEEEEP, then he composed himself and said quite calmly "...Fruitcakes!"

Sugar.
Bollards
Fudge
Sweet Cheeses
Numpty

'Oh Globbets!' is my favourite - from the old TV programme 'Trapdoor'. My mother (born 1927), for reasons no one has ever been able to fathom, used to say 'pot on it!' instead of swearing.

Poobumwee. This delights my children 😂
I use a lot of flippings and flamings
Crud
Shine a light

My Mum used to say 'Blood and Sand' and 'Fork and Knife'.