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How old was your child when grandparents first babysat?

73 replies

orangesky1 · 06/09/2020 00:53

How old was your child when grandparents first babysat?

My baby is 7.5 months old and my parents have never offered to babysit. We live about 20 min drive. My DH parents are abroad. My parents love my baby, and we go round every weekend for them to play together... They get really upset if suggest missing a week, but have never offered to have baby on their own - I've managed to get my mum to agree to have baby twice while I attended medical appointments, but never have they offered to babysit to allow us some downtime/an evening out. It seems very much about their enjoyment of baby rather than ever any suggestion of helping me out.

All the other mums in my baby group have been having regular babysitting from their parents from around 3 months - perhaps this is unusual!

We live in a country with no covid restrictions if that's relevant.

Would apprevaire any perspectives. I do know we are lucky to have grandparents and the support we do have, and I'm probably being a bit spoilt - I would never ask them to do more, I guess their approach has taken me by surprise a bit.

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Jimdandy · 06/09/2020 08:09

7 days overnight so I could catch up on sleep

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Camomila · 06/09/2020 08:16

About a week...just to I could pop to the shop for fresh air for a bit.
For longer than half an hour/an hour it would have been around 8m? DS1 was breastfed and didn't have bottles.

Are you sure they don't just want to avoid seeming pushy? I wouldn't have wanted to go out for an evening yet at that age...maybe mention to your DM you'd like to.

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MNX42 · 06/09/2020 08:17

My mother and in-laws never offered to babysit, but would generally oblige if we asked them to, which wasn't often. Maybe they are waiting for you to ask?

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whatswithtodaytoday · 06/09/2020 08:19

Around 4 months, so I could go to an art exhibition I desperately wanted to see. It felt very weird and my MIL didn't send nearly enough updates for my liking, but I'm glad I did it now.

Why don't you just ask them? Say you'd like to go out for dinner, would they mind babysitting?

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Squoon · 06/09/2020 08:22

8 months. I went back to work so MiL would have DD one day a week. It was really hard going from nothing to a full day. DD was fine, it was me that struggled. Babysitting doesn't happen here much now. I mean they say just ask anytime, but they say no so often that we've given up. DDs are 5 and 2.

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stoptheworldiwant2getoff · 06/09/2020 08:23

The probably don't want to overstep. Loads of people on here moan about MIL or parents wanting to babysit like it's the worst thing in the world. Ask them!

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Lazypuppy · 06/09/2020 08:23

Overnight was about 7 weeks i think.

She has her about once a month overnight for us when we have things planned

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Jessicabrassica · 06/09/2020 08:28

My dad had them when big was 2. 5yrs and small was 10mo. We put them to bed before we went out.
Mil, I'm not sure has ever had them on her own.
Only one friend has had them overnight (twice). Otherwise we pay for sitters if we want to go out. Eldest now at high school.

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badlydrawnbear · 06/09/2020 08:32

6 months. In-laws looked after her while we went out for dinner for my birthday.

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Toontown · 06/09/2020 08:32

Overnight about 2 years old but for a bit about 2 months. My friend babysat when the babies were six weeks old for about 2 hours.

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ClarencesMum · 06/09/2020 08:34

Around 8weeks and it's fairly regular ever since, about every 6 weeks.

Lifesaver!

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orangesky1 · 06/09/2020 08:35

Thanks for all the responses. I appreciate the perspectives.

My mum spends a lot of time talking about how her other friends' children take advantage of them for childcare / babysitting which is why I have always been very careful not to ask for anything.

I hadn't thought it might be a worry by them of overstepping.... Though I feel if they wanted to, they could just casually say 'if you ever feel like a few hours off then let us know.' They know we have a few events coming up which we have booked baby sitters for.

Hmm.... Maybe we actually just need to have a conversation Grin

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Parky04 · 06/09/2020 08:39

1 day old. Left hospital, dropped DS with GP and went to the football.

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Yellow2576 · 06/09/2020 08:41

8 days. It was Christmas Eve and DH and I went for a 90 minute walk leaving DD with DM. When dd was 13m we left her for a week with DM. Dd and DM are very close.

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DDIJ · 06/09/2020 08:42

This reply has been withdrawn

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Herja · 06/09/2020 08:45

No one has ever had them so I could go out. They are 6 and 8. My lovely grandad did babysit for one hour per week for driving lessons, when I gave birth to DC 2, and pick up from school once a week for a year so I could do a college course and twice at night so I could work. Thats it, from my entire family, over 8 years. My grandad is fantastic, but he is just to old now to be looking after children alone.

No one would ever have them just so I could go out and do something, or just because they wanted to have the children for an afternoon. One of the biggest benefits of seperating from ExH (other than that it ended a bitter marriage) was that I suddenly had some child free time.

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MNX42 · 06/09/2020 08:48

My mum spends a lot of time talking about how her other friends' children take advantage of them for childcare / babysitting which is why I have always been very careful not to ask for anything Hmmm, that does change things. Sounds like a not so subtle way of blocking any expectation on your part. But then as you say you have "a few events lined up" maybe they're concerned if they offer once you'll take advantage.

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orangesky1 · 06/09/2020 08:52

@DDIJ I think it is similar. My mum had no family support when we were babies and she managed. I went back to work full time at 5.5 months and she has commented that it's great that I get a break because of work (he is in nursery while I'm at work) so I think maybe she thinks that is plenty!

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wendz86 · 06/09/2020 08:58

My parents babysat from about 4 months . They both refused bottles so spent half the time crying but they were great with it .

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Mommabear20 · 06/09/2020 09:03

In laws had DD at around 2 months for a couple of hours while we went for dinner and my mum is having her at 11 weeks for a few hours so I can catch up on some house chores. In laws are also going to be having her (3 days a week) once I return to work when she's 6 months old. Personally won't be letting them stay over night till at least a year!

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00100001 · 06/09/2020 09:09

@Parky04

1 day old. Left hospital, dropped DS with GP and went to the football.

You left to your hours old baby to watch the football??? Confused
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ZeldaSmelda · 06/09/2020 09:11

About 4 weeks overnight, I had booked tickets to a concert abroad before I found out I was pregnant. I was away for 2 nights and it was bliss. He now stays my mums 1 night a week without fail (although obviously in the lockdown he didn’t stay and they missed eachother so much)

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Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 06/09/2020 09:12

4 days, when the hormones hit, my mum put me to bed and my parents took ds for a few hours so I could sleep.

He was 4 months when they had him over night.

PIL had him for a few hours when he was a couple of weeks old but haven't had him over night yet, he's just turned a year.

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dollypops15 · 06/09/2020 09:14

1st child was 2 and my second 2 children never

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Peony9876 · 06/09/2020 09:15

For DS1 grandparents first babysat when he was 4 years old. DS2 is 10 months old and they have only seem him once and never looked after him alone. They live 100 miles away.

In laws live about 80 miles away and they have not seem DS2 and babysat DS1 on ossasion from around 3 years old.

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