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Has lockdown made your parents old ?

83 replies

showmethewaytothemagic · 02/09/2020 22:19

My parents are both late 60s, but lockdown has made them age another 20 years. I think the lack of socialising and the inactivity ( despite having a dog, they were lazy.) My mums always been someone a bit prone to
depression, with health anxiety. I just feel a bit sad that 6 months back she'd go swimming with me and DS and laugh, but now she just sits like a serious old Nanna which is what she is now.

OP posts:
StillDumDeDumming · 02/09/2020 22:22

Hmmm my folks are extremely active mid 70s. Lots of at home exercise and walking instead of gym classes. But they have lost some sparkle yes. It’s sad at their age. They like going to the theatre, dance, Zumba and aqua fit, and seeing their family. All restricted now.

profpoopsnagle · 02/09/2020 22:27

Yes. My parents are 15 years older than yours, so quite old anyway, but I think the lockdown has caused them to debilitate at a much greater rate than they were before. DH's parents too, who are a little younger and much more active than my parents. I very much suspect my parents won't recover the independence and life they had before lockdown.

I came to the personal conclusion a while ago, that whilst a lockdown could be seemed to have been necessary at a certain point, it lasted overly long which will have far more of an effect than the potential dangers of the virus, on a great number and cross section of society.

TheOrchidKiller · 02/09/2020 22:29

Mine are in their 70s but usually very active. DM is very anxious & struggling to get out as a result. She is trying to meet friends but it's slow progress.

DH saw PILs today & is worried that FIL's memory is going as he repeated himself a lot. FIL has always done this a bit but has barely gone out for months so I wouldn't be surprised if the lack of stimulation was causing more repetition.

I think that many people who haven't had much social contact or who haven't been as active will be deconditioned physically & mentally, regardless of age. But I completely see your point about parents appearing older. It is sad.Flowers

ChickenwingChickenwing · 02/09/2020 22:32

Not my parents but my Nanna. She is in her 80's but was really active walking a couple of miles a few times a week until lockdown. Now she is tired all the time and doesn't walk at all. I think the lack of interaction and ability to go to the shops etc like normal has just aged her. She was very young for her age before. Now she just seems so old Sad

BillyAndTheSillies · 02/09/2020 22:42

Mine and DH's parents are all just about to turn 60. It hasn't made them older, but it has made them relish their pre grandchildren life and they aren't that interested in the DC's anymore. They've found hobbies they'd long forgotten about so spend time doing those instead. It's hard on my DC because they used to see them multiple times a week.

DH's grandad passed away this weekend, he hadn't left the house since February and I can't help but think that lockdown had a part to play in it, he was so sociable and used to have so much going on which he lost really suddenly.

Nikki360 · 02/09/2020 22:43

I'm an only child and I haven't been in my mum and dads house since March. They haven't been out properly since March. They are 77 and 87 and are too frightened to go anywhere really. I miss them so much I go down and see them in the garden but I haven't gave them a hug since March. I have three daughters and they are missing them so much. They were just coming round to the idea that maybe we could pop in to see them properly and Glasgow got restrictions back for two weeks. It's a very difficult frustrating and sad situation.

JulesCobb · 02/09/2020 22:51

My mil, mid-late 70’s, has carried on as normal. Regular walking the dog. Proper hard core walks. Not a pootle round the park. She dips in to do some work which she still does to keep her mind busy. She has been on holiday too and spent every day sightseeing. ie more walking.

My mum is the same age and has barely left her chair since march. She is now far less steady on her feet and falls a lot. She has Anxiety and refuses to Do anything because of the anxiety and yells at anyone suggesting she moves.

Scarby9 · 02/09/2020 22:55

84 and 85 here. Already struggling, but I was looking back at photos of them at Christmas today, and was shocked at how much they have aged during coronavirus. Things that were normal to them then are unthinkable now.

thebabessavedme · 03/09/2020 01:34

yes, in some ways, they are both in their 80s, I'm concerned that they are no longer driving (4x4 in drive since march) the amount they drink (they have it delivered from a very good wine store) the amount of repeated conversations (see wine delivery Hmm) just generally behaving older, however, my df took 'eat out to help out' as a direct instruction and has decreed that 'he can be locked up until he is 100 but whats the bloody point if life is shit'! my dm is hugging and kissing all dggdcs as she 'will be a long time dead' and she wants to 'smell them, they are beautiful' I think I see their points.

SueEllenofDallas · 03/09/2020 01:57

Has lockdown made any of you lot older?

DramaAlpaca · 03/09/2020 02:11

Mine are in their 80s. They are managing to carry on not quite as normal, but very nearly. Nothing much fazes them.

Sootthus · 03/09/2020 02:11

never mind my parents, I've aged several years looks wise. My skin has become awful over lockdown I think due to stress.

My parents and elder relatives seem to be doing ok but then they've been able to get out and about to work and the shops throughout so maybe that helps

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/09/2020 02:26

Yes definitely.

They were 69 when it started and 70 now and its like they have skipped a decade and gone straight into their 80's, especially Ma. She was always very social and meeting her friends, doing stuff with church etc. You can see the effect it has had on her mind since its not been kept so busy, her memory is worse, she is far more easily distracted and loses her thread.

She has improved in just a few short weeks since she could go out again and I am hoping that it keeps improving.

Time40 · 03/09/2020 02:27

Has lockdown made any of you lot older?

Well, not me. I think I'm just the same as I was. I was horrified to see the statistic that two-thirds of adults in the UK had put weight on during lockdown.

I've been forcing myself to go out for pointless drives, just so my driving confidence doesn't slip.

managedmis · 03/09/2020 02:47

Has lockdown made any of you lot older?


Not really. More of a home body though

NC4Now · 03/09/2020 02:53

My mum seems more doddery and less confident. I think it’s because a lot of the groups she goes to have stopped and activities she takes part in (more mental than physical) have come to an end. She seems to be picking up again now.

I feel older in that I’ve changed my exercise and not managed as much as I’d like and WFH hasn’t been great for my posture. I have lots of aches and pains due to a condition I have which hasn’t been managed as well during lockdown.
It’s a warning shot for old age that I need to keep up my exercise regime.

DeadBod · 03/09/2020 02:55

Yes. I had this conversation today with my sister. DM is 82 and has really gone down hill Sad

ConfusedPanda · 03/09/2020 02:55

Yes, the difference is very noticeable. It's the same for DH's parents.

80sMum · 03/09/2020 03:20

@43Nikki360 perhaps you could get a Covid Test for yourself and your DCs? Then go and visit your mother as soon as the negative results are received. That would put all your minds at rest that nothing bad will happen if you go inside your mum's house and give her that long overdue hug.

redeyetonowheregood · 03/09/2020 05:20

My mum is in her mid 70s and it is really sad to see...she has never been very active physically, but she is now terrified and has barely left the house since march. She isn't particularly at risk but in her head she thinks she will die if she gets covid. She can barely do anything now before feeling tired.

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 03/09/2020 05:51

My mum is only 64, but lockdown has given her a new lease of life! Before it, her life revolves around me and the DC, but during early lockdown she could hardly see us and said it made her realise she'd become too dependent on us (wasn't my view, I loved having her around!)

So she's started dating for the first time in about 20 years, is going to gigs, and making plans to buy a camper van and travel round France when all this over - with the current favourite of her many fancy men! Grin

Mintjulia · 03/09/2020 05:55

My oldies (late 60s) have loved it. Both in their 60s, they've spent huge time on their allotment and cycling. Unable to travel or volunteer they have turned In Tom & Barbara Goode.Grin

mynameiscalypso · 03/09/2020 06:12

I'm always surprised when I read these kinds of threads because it's hard to recognise my parents who are in their late 60s/early 70s. They usually travel a lot so they've quite enjoyed being at home - they've done a lot of cooking, they both have had virtual PT sessions a few times a week plus virtual drinks with their friends a lot and they went out most days (my mum has a volunteer role that she kept doing throughout). We used to FaceTime a fair amount but it was often hard to find a slot when they were both free. They're currently on their second holiday of the summer and having a grand old time.

weepingwillow22 · 03/09/2020 06:21

Mine never used to socialise before lockdown so it has not made a great deal of difference to their lives. They remain glass half empty people and announced yesterday they hate other people, they are very annoyed about peoples inability to social distance properly and are very bitter about the prospect of a no deal brexit.

ClumsyAnnabel · 03/09/2020 06:25

My mother definitely aged in peak lockdown she was so anxious and seemed frail at 75 when she would have been out and about before travelling all over country with her hobby etc. Shes getting her confidence back a little now thankfully.

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