Has lockdown made your parents old ?

[showmethewaytothemagic]

My parents are both late 60s, but lockdown has made them age another 20 years. I think the lack of socialising and the inactivity ( despite having a dog, they were lazy.) My mums always been someone a bit prone to
depression, with health anxiety. I just feel a bit sad that 6 months back she'd go swimming with me and DS and laugh, but now she just sits like a serious old Nanna which is what she is now.

My parents retired to Cyprus a few years ago which I am so grateful for. The hard lockdown was much shorter so they've been able to get out and about.

Their core evening pursuit of having some wine in their outdoor spa in the pleasant balmy evening weather doesn't seem to have been overly affected!

Yes, absolutely. Mid 60s and my mum is so brevity about going anywhere, although she does atikk work. She knows the figures and data from every country...she came over the other day and wore her mask in my house...its really sad. I get its scary though :-(

Yes, my Dad. Mum is active, but she’s gotten much thinner, worrying about her health. Dad didn’t leave the house during the initial lockdown period. He’s 70 & took the advice to the letter, he got so grey & shabby very quickly... Sister got him out walking once things were eased & he looks a lot better now. However, his comfort eating is off the scale, so he’s put on lots of weight. It hasn’t done either of them any good, and they used to enjoy days out, shopping, holidays etc... They aren’t old really, but this has changed them.

Yes definitely. Mum (72) had a stroke in February, spent 6 weeks in hospital then came home. Dad (75) previously came into work everyday for 5-6 hours but obviously hasn't done since Mum's stroke.

She's really aged, partly due to stroke and its after effects but partly because her already limited social skills have not been used for 6 months. He has aged as well because all his time is spent caring - he's given up everything to look after mum - and he isn't getting the stimulation to his brain and his social skills, that he did get when negotiating and discussing complex subjects that he used to. Mum isn't the most stimulating person to have a conversation with and as they aren't 'allowed' to go anywhere and mum can't cope with long journeys, they've no holidays to look forward to or meals out or day trips.

I think the way that the start of lockdown terrified older people, by making them feel that they were unlikely to survive, if they went out and did any of the things they were used to and regarding them as collateral damage was cruel.

It isn’t surprising that they became fearful. People are designed to interact with others, to follow routines to a certain extent and when that is taken away, it has a massive impact on mental and physical health and well being. I have long said that the toll on mental health will be the worst thing. Depression and anxiety are killers and will kill more people in the near and mid term future.

@Foxyloxy1plus1

I think the way that the start of lockdown terrified older people, by making them feel that they were unlikely to survive, if they went out and did any of the things they were used to and regarding them as collateral damage was cruel.

It isn’t surprising that they became fearful. People are designed to interact with others, to follow routines to a certain extent and when that is taken away, it has a massive impact on mental and physical health and well being. I have long said that the toll on mental health will be the worst thing. Depression and anxiety are killers and will kill more people in the near and mid term future.

Totally agree. My mum was certain if she got it she would die...

Yes mine seem to have lost the ability to hold a conversation and interact properly. They're early 70s but seem so much older now and they were fit and active before.

I’ve seen a difference in my parents but I know it’s not just lockdown. Mum was quite poorly last year and this was supposed to be the year she had some fun which has been drastically curtailed. We’ve had two family bereavements too. They miss close family contact but none of us want to risk mum’s health. They really miss proper interaction with the children. They’re still physically very active but it’s all taken it’s toll on their “spark”

Mine have done pretty well, all aged 80. Pre-lockdown, they mostly socialised with 4.5 couples, one couple in particular, for country walks and lunches. Since July they've carried on with that, just walking 2m+ apart and lots of picnics 2m apart, so they've got used to shouting!

ILs are in less good health but walk the dog, wave and chat to people outside the corner shop, BIL and SIL bring food regularly. Dog is fitter than ever, so worked out OK.

I've lied to them about how badly Covid has affected me, though. They think I've recovered but actually driving to them and sitting to chat wore me out for a good few days, and I had to come up with excuses not to go upstairs (because I'd have to rest 15 min at the top).

My DF is in his late 80s, and has dementia. Before lockdown they went out and about a lot, i siting friends and family, going out for lunch etc as my DF is much better when out and about and it takes the pressure off my DM. Lockdown really aged my DF, and he has no idea of what’s happening.

Friends with parents with dementia have said the same thing. The lack of stimulation afforded by socialising, and getting out the house seems to have had a significant detrimental impact on those with dementia.

Other elderly people I know have have lost confidence being among other people - they live on their own and now find it too overwhelming to have other people near them.

Yes, my ex MIL has gone from having a holiday right before lockdown to a suicidally depressed 80 year old who now needs carers to help her wash and eat. She has lost loads of weight (she has had anorexia on and off) and is a shell of herself. My ex would visit daily to take essential supplies during the early stages of lockdown but stuck to the rules and never went inside or took her out for a drive or walk. It looks like protecting her from the virus might actually be what kills her.

No. I saw mine recently for the first time in 6 months and they haven't changed.
Dad was up a high ladder last week clearing a gutter.
Dad is 90 and Mum is 84.

Yes DF is mid 80s and before lockdown went out a lot walking and on the bus then he stayed in most of lockdown and struggles to walk far now, they say if you don’t use it you lose it and this means exercise as well when you are older.

My octogenarian parent is enthralled by it all. She was physically frail anyway but generally lively and ferociously in touch with current affairs. And I imagine, as with many elderly people, wasn't really expecting to see any great new event in her lifetime. So she's fascinated by the novelty of it all, angered by the incompetence of the government - and seems if anything younger than she was six months ago

Your mum sounds fab PPE!

Some of these comments are very sad, though what I was fearing.
It's vitally important for elderly people to be socially and physically active, and to be as fully intergrated into society as possible. We are starting to see an increase in deaths at home now (not caused by coronavirus) and I wonder if some older people are starting to suffer as a result of lockdown itself.
I've seen quite a few people advocate for all people over 65/70 to be shielded/self isolated so that the rest of society can get on with their lives, I hope this shows why this is not a good idea.

My parents... no. My mum still works full time in the NHS and my dad is retired but his wife works in a school so he was happy to have her home for a few months.
My grandmother definitely. She’s become really depressed. She also lived through the, but says ‘at least I got to do something then’. She basically lived for seeing her family and walking down the village and chatting with all the friends she encountered, and going to the library. She said in lockdown that she had nothing left to live for. It didn’t help that her husband died in early March so she had no one to support her through that.
Now she’s allowed to the shops again she can’t walk that far as her fitness and mobility declined so badly in lockdown.

My mum I don't think it has, just meant that most of the time her time outside of the house has been where walking is possible or a taxi journey. Food deliveries have been for several years given her back condition and not driving.

It has been expensive for her though given the taxi fares.

(Dad passed away several years ago and were he still here today, it would have been difficult for him given his limited sight and the fact that Mr Johnson's performance would have made his blood boil even more than it has my mum's.)

Not my parents as they’re late 50s and have been working outside the home throughout but the first time I saw PIL once we could meet in the garden, I noticed they looked a lot older. They’re late 60s and have been retired since they turned 60.

Yes my parents have lost their spark too. They have ongoing physical health problems but were always upbeat and determined to enjoy life. I think they feel very bitter now.

Interesting that during lockdown older people who went out and about and tried to carry on some sense of normality were regularly criticised but with the benefit of hindsight those are the people who’ve come out of it the best.

Yes - mine have aged drastically. Mam had all of her cancer treatment stopped at the start of lockdown and it still hasn't restarted. The stress of worrying about and looking after her has aged Dad too.

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal
Good for your mum
I’m late 60s

We never locked down

@feelingverylazytoday
No one will be shielding me and I won’t be self isolating
If I’m meant to go, I’m going living
Not cowering in my bunker

@TrickyD
Sounds great.
I’m nana but aged 51 when my first grandchild was born I thought gran was so ageing

Horses for courses

What do you mean, Dowzer when you say "we never locked down"?

No, but my mum is 51 and still works full time.