Any dyspraxics want to chat?

[bicyclesaredeathtraps]

Hi!
On a thread the other day it became apparent that there's quite a few dyspraxic women on here. I thought it would be nice to have somewhere to chat, about coping mechanisms for work, family, whatever, what we wish we'd known, diagnosis and so on - or anything you like! As-yet-undiagnosed people are of course welcome, as it's practically impossible to get diagnosed as an adult on the NHS 🙄
I'd appreciate it if this remained a space for adult dyspraxics though, rather than people wondering if their child might be - we can spend a lot of time explaining it so it's nice to have a break
I hope some of you join me!

I love this thread - it gets more and more fascinating. I too am a natural speller, have always been able to just do it.
Horrible at languages though, possibly because the words seem abstract and I have a rubbish memory- it's great some of you guys have that gift!
For my English A level (a looong time ago) I was able to learn quotes by drawing lines of little pictures linked to the words. Nobody taught me how to do this but it helped me get through. Definitely a visual learner.
Don't have the patience to read instructions/manuals so tend to fiddle with things until they work/(break) 😬

Oh wow, I've found my people!

I started the pathway to diagnosis in school but my mum decided not to proceed as she didn't like labels 🤔.

I can't drive, didn't learn to ride a bike till I was 13, and still fall off pretty much every journey. I can't throw, catch or hit a ball with a bat and I can't run/swim in a straight line either. I struggle with moving through a space and moving furniture is a nightmare. I get lost all the time, am crap with directions and I have to manually work out my left from right and it takes me a minute to 'read' the time on an analogue clock.

I'm always late, no matter how hard I try, the passage of time almost doesn't make sense to me, it moves in like, unpredictable splodges iyswim.

I find it really hard to keep a tidy house, my mind and my house seem so cluttered all the time! My handwriting is poor but I've also got a touch of arthritis in my fingers so that doesn't help either.

This thread has got so interesting!
I love the description of time as moving in unpredictable splodges, that's exactly it! It's so hard to describe to other people just why time doesn't seem to work for me like it does for them.
I just recited quotes for English A level. Me and my friend could recite up to about halfway through the Shakespeare word for word between us
Interesting too (and depressing) how many people weren't diagnosed so as to avoid "labels". When I got diagnosed my parents said the gross motor stuff had always been very clear, but they didn't bother about it bc it didn't seem to affect my academic work (it does, it just took me until university before I couldn't work twice as hard to compensate). I can't be angry with them about it though really. They did their best to help me with those skills regardless

The language thing is interesting.

I'm not a good speller but I have dyslexia as well - and they're often co-morbid.

I can see the children are similar they can't "hear" all the sounds in words - means the sound it out method as well having mutliple options of letter combinations I also miss or mishear the sounds.

I had speach therapy when younger - possibly verbal dyspraxia - Mum can't remember and I was too young to know.

Our children haven't had that though I did have concerns with DS at nursury as did reception teahcers but speech therapist were unresourced and he wasn't bad enough and they thought he might improve with age - which he did.

Spelling was a list of random letters till I started teaching the kids spelling and was teaching patterns form structured programs - done outside of school as help in school was often patchy and variable quality if they got on it al all - SENCO at first primary blocked DS and DD1 getting help for a few years despite class teachers insisting they needed it.

My vocabulary was always huge and I think I was always making links with other words and meanings. I do wonder if a structured approach to spelling would have help me have fewer problems rather than emergent spelling which was in vouge at the time.

DD1 teachers have mentioned she very good at linking information form different sources - I think DS is too quiet for them to be aware of him doing it.

The kids spelling is mixed - DD1 is poorer than expected for someone with her ablities despite us going through several programs - which I'd started earlier with her. DS who struggled most and couldn't rely on memory as much as sisters is now by far the best speller and DD2 is just okay.

I'm not great at languages - but younger two especially DS seem to be and I think that's thanks to duolingo - labguage app they do every day - I think little and often practise seems to really suit them.

I think it's again getting things into long term memory.

It's so good to hear about everyone's experiences.

I was never diagnosed by as I said in my post at the beginning it is so obvious I have do many of the traits.

I'm feeling emotional today as I have a call with DS 8 ' s teacher to get him some support and get them to hopefully recognise that he had dyspraxia or something else. He def has trouble with speech and writing both forming letters and organising his thoughts to be able to write something. He can't eat properly without making a mess or ride a bike. However as I know that coordination and sports are a big issue we have started to take him to tennis and he has really surprised us by being able hit the ball ( I still can't) and he really enjoys it.

I think my worry is being able to talk to his teachers without getting tearful or taking it personally because I am clouded by my own experiences ?

If you have any time at home - these might be worth a look.

write from the start

speed up

A writing slope might help as well - some of DS teachers would let him bring one in.

I've tried umpteen different pens and grips over the years - nothing really worked DD1 still grips way to tight and I've found nothing to really help her.

DS did get put in a support group they did dance and movement and cutting and beads - frankly everything we were already do lots of at home and he did dance groups tap and street dance twice a week with his sisters and a great local teacher who made it fun and wasn't into competitions and exams.

I think swimming helped but all the kids were older than most as we had to wait till we were near a pool with decent lessons - they had weekly lessons and I paid for intense swmming lessons in holidays. They all made good progess.

organising his thoughts to be able to write something.

We were doing apple and pears for spelling - but it also meant I saw handwriting mistakes they were doing and could correct immediately and constantly remind them when they started letters in wrong place which was common and very persistent with them all.

Past a certain level once they had to worry and think less about spelling and handwriting they had more capacity for the organising bit. That was noted by their teachers - spelling and handwriting improved then their work got more complex.

If that doens't happen there are techniques that can help and 8 is still really young I didn't start to do well till Secondary.

Swimming and dance lessons definitely helped my coordination as a child. I was truly awful at dance (looking at videos now), but I didn't know that at the time and I enjoyed it! As an adult I find yoga to be very good for practicing focusing on the right muscles and doing coordination-ey stuff calmly. I did a class on Zoom for a while recently, took me quite a few lessons to get confident enough to turn the camera on, but it was definitely good for me.
I get what you're saying Victoria, but then in some ways maybe it's easier for you to spot his difficulties so that he gets the help? And you know the effects of not getting the right support so you can really push for him to get it

I have done years and years of Zumba as an adult and every class is almost like my first ! I am the uncoordinated, no rhythm, person at the front who is going in the opposite direction!!

Still love it though 😊

I spoke to the teacher and didn't get too emotional and she was brilliant and we agreed a few things to take forward

Hi everyone
I'm dyspraxic and married to an autistic man which surprisingly works really well. I am good at the things he needs help with and vice versa eg at christmas he will wrap all the presents as I just end up in a mess of torn paper and sellotape, and I write the cards because he can never remember people's names.

I have lists everywhere. I have a list of important phone numbers magneted to my boiler and a list of how various friends/family take their tea/coffee on my fridge. I also have a meal planner and a to do list and if I lose my diary I'm stuffed.

I am hopelessly unco-ordinated, especially in the kitchen. The dc are banned from the kitchen when I am cooking because I worry I will accidentally drop something hot on them.

My biggest problem is smart phones because i can't use the touch screen. I have a kindle fire (with an indestructible case designed for toddlers) that I can just about use because the screen is bigger than a phone.

I also hate it when people say they are going to phone/come round and then they don't. I don't blame them but it panics me. When I am expecting someone to phone I have to either carry the phone around with me (and probably leave it somewhere) or leave it on the base station and not get there in time because I have fallen down the stairs or tripped over the cat.

My son was diagnosed as a teenager. It was the first time I'd heard of it, but I'm positive I'm also dyspraxic, along with half my family.

I randomly fall and trip over nothing; my knees are scarred and often scabby. I cannot do sports, which is a shame as I enjoy them, but everyone hates doing them with me as I am so rubbish. I cannot walk in a straight line. I find it hard to walk downhill. I walk into door frames and furniture so often, I don't even register it now, just find random bruises. My memory is poor. I am either obsessively tidy with a fixed place for everything, or chaotic. I took 5 driving tests. I drive, but I worry I'm not a fully competent driver. I hit the kerb yesterday on a narrow road with oncoming traffic.

OMG wrapping presents!! Hadn’t even occurred to me - I thought I was just pants at it! DH always has to do it and can’t understand how I make such a mess.

Isn’t this fascinating? I’m also good at languages, spelling, map reading, drawing. I work in IT so logic and sequential processing are necessary skills and I’m good at them. However I cannot follow a sequence of instructions given verbally so I often struggle in meetings when people are describing processes. I’m fine when things are written down.

DH dies the wrapping here too!

*does

I definitely need things written down.

I am dyspraxic. I can’t drive, I have tried really hard but I just can’t.

I am really crap at housework and anything practical but I have a PhD and a good job. I think it does affect me every day of my life.

Driving bothers me lemurs. I don't know if I'll ever be able to. It does definitely affect us every day I think to some extent.

I suspect I am but like others on this thread not diagnosed.

My driving is okay but parking is terrible.Have avoided parallel parking since I got my license!

I’m clumsy and fall over easily. Amazingly never seem to injure myself seriously apart from bruising. My theory is I’m an expert in falling over I also have almost no hand eye co-ordination. School sports were a nightmare.

My handwriting is terrible. I even remember being told in high school that if it didn’t improve I’d fail exams because of it.

I’m smart but my executive functioning is terrible. I scraped into university but ended up dropping out due to not getting assignments done. I still struggle with organisation at work but manage to muddle through most of the time. It makes me sad that I could have achieved more in life but I’m also proud of myself for holding down a full time job for as long as I have.

Some other posters have mentioned sensory issues. I hate bright lights, excessively hot weather, strong smells and I’m not a touchy feels person at all.

Oh yes Hollyhocks the walking into things. I’d forgotten about that! I’ve ruined a few tops by getting the sleeves caught on door handles.

I want to say "You are me!' to so many posts here! I'm also an expert and falling and tripping over absolutely nothing, haha.

It's interesting to see many people say they're good with spelling and languages, I think I am too.

bluetongue I’ve done that twice this week. This is actually quite spooky. Do other people not do that?!

Oh yes, torn clothes from catching on things.

I’m quite tall so it’s belt loops that get caught on door handles. DS does the same.
I once managed to catch my engagement ring on a door handle, twisted it out of shape and almost broke my finger.

but parking is terrible.Have avoided parallel parking since I got my license!

Got mine 28 years ago and not parallel parked once Since. Even why I lived on a terraced street