If your username was a TV show/movie , what would be the plot?

[WomenHour]

Or the premise

Mine would be women issues for a hour.

Dutch football manager and former footballer Ruud Gullit is challenged to balance on different sheds.

Drama comedy where a girl runs a bar and dishes out helpful advice and good times

Or a show where 3 mates travel the country tasting artisan gins and rates them

Mine would be one of those Sunday night shows that runs forever. Arrogant, world-weary townie moves against his will to the arse end of nowhere. After getting his shiny hunter wellies pissed on by the equally grumpy village donkey he is eventually won over by the quirky, heart of gold personalities of his neighbours, especially the tragic, good looking one he secretly wants to take up the womens institute.

Late night party in town where the sexy front man of a rock group is giving it large, his mate is telling him to reign it in. He doesn't. I'm the doe eyed friend of the lucky girl he hooked up with.

Mine would be a chicken little style movie where the sky falls down. But it's purple and an alien massacre would probably follow

X rated filth!

A biography of Britain's greatest author's wife.

@RuudGullitOnAShed Ruud could balance on my shed any day

Black bird pecks the living daylights out of things.

A game show based on hunt the thimble. As the host I would shout "you're getting hotter, you're almost toasty" hence my stage name.

A group of fishermen in the basement of a Maine shack somewhere up near Fort Kent are challenging each other to increasingly complex depraved feats.

The monkfish fisherman asks someone to hold his monkfish while he drinks three pints of Moxie laced with absinthe.

The haddock fisherman asks someone to hold his haddock while he walks naked, balls deep, through a snowdrift.

The mackerel fisherman asks someone to hold his mackerel while he plays Russian roulette with his gun against the head of his lover (a cod fisherman).

The lobsterman... well, you'll just have to watch the TV series to find out.

BTW it's based on a true story.

A live stream all weekend DIY show following beginner DIYers trying to make shit for themselves.

The twist is that every week the DIYer gets thoroughly pissed off with it or somehow bollocks it up irredeemably badly. When this happens they take their piece outside and blow it up spectacularly with special explosives.

Maybe the public can vote on whether they think it is time to put the impact driver down and go boom or not. The DIYer does not have to obey the vote but has a big screen near them displaying the current voting and maybe the occasional comment from someone.

Oooh, maybe they have three times they can call on a pro for help and the public can vote for whether it is time to call in the pro or not. The pro will be pigletjohn.

Rose de Mer is a retired French assassin, with exquisite taste in clothes, food and men.
She is also the aunt of Villanelle (Killing Eve) and taught her all she knows.
The series shows the young Rose in flashback when she was in her prime, and her life with a young Villanelle.

I should pitch this idea to PWB

It's a daytime TV show. The presenter, a doogooder with great hair, goes to various small towns and finds a few local charities that are doing good work but need funds. One charity each week wins 10k. They all get good publicity so people locally vlcan help them.

In a some what Freajy Fridayish twist Camilla Parker-Bowles and a chicken have swapped bodies after lightning struck the coop just as she was collecting the daily eggs.

Camilla goes on a series of adventures, avoiding being turned into nuggets by the gamekeeper's wife before making her way into Windsor Castle and managing to make Prince Charles realise that the chicken pecking his nose is in fact his beloved wife, Camilla.

Brian Molko biopic

A bunch of surgeons in a busy hospital where they all sleep with each other and a lot of them die. My character would probably fuck off to Zurich.

A cursed witch who can only use her powers at full moon. Needless to say that she will go on a rampage ever so often in order to break the curse.
Otherwise, she is actually a likable character, an amazing single mum to 2 DC and working at a supermarket check out.

Teacher with a sideline in botanical gin production.

Kind of Breaking Bad-lite.

Mine would be a low key indie movie about some people learning to get through tough times.

(It’s from a song:
While you're doing fine, there's some people and I
Who have a really tough time getting through this life
So excuse us while we sing to the sky)

No plot, just loads of penguins walking around together.

Early nineteenth century bodice ripper in which ambitious woman marries brainless member of the upper classes and masterminds his political career while sleeping with all and sundry.
There would be lots of footmen, carriages, country houses with lakes, enormous dresses and nudity.

Scottish weirdo female with her hands full requires a sidekick to assist with dog minding duty while she reloads her shotgun.

A documentary about Woodstock