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Original poster

Anyone else screwed work wise because of school hours

157 replies

Sewsosew · 28/08/2020 16:02

Previously working somewhere great under contract before lockdown. In process of being made permanent with DC starting secondary (meaning I could do longer hours also, but still term time, not quite full hours).
Current contract ended same time as lockdown.

Now they’ve decided they want someone full time, whole year (I imagine this is to do with recent management buyout).

DC is only back in school 8.30-2pm, no after school activities and has to be off site. Too young to be left for hours, can’t go back to childminder (too old really and she won’t take a child from a different school). Nowhere else to go.
DH is out 7-7pm.

I’m so hacked off. We are fine financially but I like working and I am so friggin bored! I like people and I like the extra cash as holiday money.

I know someone is going to say it’s fine to leave DC, but I’m not comfortable with that just yet, she only recently turned 11.

OP posts:
joeysapple · 29/08/2020 09:20

Honestly, in your shoes I'd enjoy a few months off work if you don't need to work financially. Secondary school is a big change for kids and I think often underestimated how much parental support is needed, more than in year 6 IMO.

Enjoy the time to be with your DD after school, and look for other contract work in the meantime.

DragonflyInn · 29/08/2020 09:26

OP you don’t desperately need the job for the money. Your current job doesn’t seem to be your passion or your ultimate career ambition. Clearly you do value being at home for your dd for the next year or so. I have to say I’d quit the job. Possibly you could think hard if there’s an area you could try at freelancing / setting yourself up self employed. It may or may not work out. If it does it will bring in the holiday money you want while you define your hours. If it doesn’t, make plans ready to pick up your actual career when dd is a bit older.

HungryPies · 29/08/2020 09:42

I totally understand your thoughts on this. I wouldn't be leaving her on her own if I was in your shoes, nor would I have a stranger in the house but everyone is different.
I'd turn this on its head - you are fortunate that you don't have to work financially so use this as an opportunity to think about what you really want to do, set up your own business, working from home or something.

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Families
Mintjulia · 29/08/2020 09:48

Is there a local older teenager who will babysit, they both go back to your house, and do homework (or just mooch and eat toast) until you get home?

Or another mum who will help out for a small fee? Is there a class Facebook page? Plenty of people have the same issue so try to pair up with someone.

mosscarpet · 29/08/2020 10:24

sympathies OP. I have 6 dc. My oldest is 22, my youngest is 12 and started secondary school last Sept. I had been doing the school run for almost 20 years and I was so looking forward to youngest dc getting to secondary school. I was finally going to take on the last bits I needed to do to progress the last stage of my career, had it all set up and everything. Then this. And now they are all back to school at different times (3 dc still at secondary) and they are being told not to use buses , which are running V reduced services anyway. We live too far away for them to walk or cycle , so its back to school runs and I've had to take on another role at work(less well paid) whichI hate but at least allows me greater felxibility. Gutted.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 29/08/2020 11:38

If you enjoy the job, I'd be tempted to stick it out for the first half term to see how it pans out. I have one who has just started secondary (in Scotland), he is gutted that I'm working from home! The after school routine seems to be dawdling home with friends (so takes about twice as long as needed), occasional trips to costa, raiding the fridge, homework, and sorting bag for the next day. Not much quality time.

If nothing else it might give you more time to pitch for flexible hours.

TSSDNCOP · 29/08/2020 11:59

*latticechaos
Y7 are fine to be left provided no other issues. In fact, they seem to enjoy the responsibility of getting a snack, doing their homework, walking the dog.

Not all of them! It is pretty lonely going home to an empty house every day.
And?
She'd have to suck it up.
Find a book. Do her homework. Do the house work.

The adults need to work to pay the bills.
The 'loneliness' would have to be sucked quite firmly up.

I was a latchkey kid. 3 hours is fine.*

We sat down as a family and explained that if we all wanted the extras we all enjoy eg fancy holidays and evenings out that we all had to pitch in to the house running. For DC that meant letting themselves in and having a teen round to supervise them.

It's not too early to get everyone rowing in the same direction.

Kokeshi123 · 29/08/2020 12:09

I've known girls this age go to the childminder with the idea that they are going there as a "helper"---they do their homework and help the childminder a little with getting drinks and snacks and general busywork. Would she be open to this idea? It provides a little bit of supervision without feeling too babyish.

huuskymam · 29/08/2020 12:17

Are there any older kids from the school or local college that you could pay to sit with her for the few hours.

TheTeenageYears · 29/08/2020 12:25

How about looking a school leaver/gap year student via a local facebook group or by asking local schools. The country is awash with 18 year olds fresh out of school with little chance of finding a job and those who deferred uni places with no where to go at the moment. It's perfect for that age group - find someone with similar interests to DD who can also supervise homework so when you get home that's all out the way.

Same for holidays, doesn't need to be someone in all day everyday, afternoons once the teen helper has woken up will be fine to break the day up. The current school timings won't last forever, DD will get older and will be easier to leave and once you have got your head down in the job for a while there might be a possibility of term time only or something between term time and full time.

Redwinestillfine · 29/08/2020 12:29

Honestly op I would question if I really wanted to work for the new company if they're treating you like this. Very shortsighted of them.

latticechaos · 29/08/2020 12:41

@TSSDNCOP

*latticechaos Y7 are fine to be left provided no other issues. In fact, they seem to enjoy the responsibility of getting a snack, doing their homework, walking the dog.

Not all of them! It is pretty lonely going home to an empty house every day.
And?
She'd have to suck it up.
Find a book. Do her homework. Do the house work.

The adults need to work to pay the bills.
The 'loneliness' would have to be sucked quite firmly up.

I was a latchkey kid. 3 hours is fine.*

We sat down as a family and explained that if we all wanted the extras we all enjoy eg fancy holidays and evenings out that we all had to pitch in to the house running. For DC that meant letting themselves in and having a teen round to supervise them.

It's not too early to get everyone rowing in the same direction.

I was also a latchkey kid, it was shit!
minnieok · 29/08/2020 12:44

I would make enquiries to see if someone local can babysit/have them to their house. You don't need to be ofsted inspected to care for older kids in your home - eg I'm considering having a "homework club" as I'm struggling to find work aimed at parents in your position (unlike a childminder I won't pick them up, just provide a safe environment and snacks until parents finish work, and yes, help with homework)

Original poster
Sewsosew · 29/08/2020 13:36

@Redwinestillfine it’s the buy out issue. The original company were great.
I actually didn’t have enough work to do to justify 37 hours. I’d arrange to do extra hours when it was needed. I suspect I would be twiddling my thumbs a lot.

OP posts:
Octagoneaway · 29/08/2020 14:09

I think I’d be inclined to try it before I quit my job. By Christmas your daughter is likely to have grown up massively, and school might have increased the hours and be offering more clubs. If by the end of term it’s not working then you could reassess. But I’d be really reluctant to give up so easily!

Passthecake30 · 29/08/2020 22:35

Has your daughter been left alone at all? My son, going into year 8 absolutely loves his time alone when he gets in before other people get home. No one to nag him to do his hw, get a snack etc - he just stares at his phone until he hears someone pull up and then frantically gets dressed Grin

MajesticWhine · 29/08/2020 23:19

What a shame to let this get in the way of a good job. I would recommend getting an after school nanny. Such people do exist. I have done this for ages and usually found someone who can be quite flexible and help more in the holidays. There are so many people out of work. They are not a stranger in your house once you get to know them. You can insist on references, DBS etc.

HathorX · 29/08/2020 23:22

The new management where you work are idiots. They want people working consistent hours. .. why, ffs?! It is the 21st century and that is a very weird attitude to take in workplaces where flexible hours are possible. I'm really sorry it has screwed up your ability to stay in the job.

I also think it would be a little bit lonely to for an 11yo at home alone for 3 hours every day. Although not completely unworkable, just a bit of a shame. My DD would doubtless use the time to play on her ipad or chat to friends! I can't see much homework getting done.

I'd make a last ditch effort to persuade the management that having good, committed, experienced staff is more important than having people clocking on and off at particular times of day. And then when they totally ignore your sensible advice, I would tell them that very sadly they give you no choice but to quit.

bumblingbovine49 · 29/08/2020 23:56

My son with ADHD and autism was alone at home between 3.30pm and 6.00/6.30pm 4 out of 5 days from year 7 onwards. He was fine , liked it in fact

YinuCeatleAyru · 30/08/2020 00:05

find a y11 student from the same senior school who lives near you. Pay her £5 a day to walk home with your DD and hang out at your house. no "caring" responsibilities, no work required, no tasks. just being a second person in the building - older student is free to do her own homework or whatever she wants (because if there's any actual work to do or responsibility you'd need to pay more).

I did this job for 3 years for a neighbouring family. it was good all round.

Lardlizard · 30/08/2020 00:13

Personally I think three hours every day is very sad for a 11 year old
I wouldn’t wanna do have to do that

Grrretel · 30/08/2020 00:21

I'd see about getting a sixth former to come home with her a couple of nights a week, and maybe a cleaner one afternoon who would do 3pm-5pm.

RainbowMum11 · 30/08/2020 00:25

Very interesting comments rev11 year olds being left alone for a couple of hours after school.

My mum was a single parent and a teacher, my Dad lived abroad. From starting secondary school, I got the school bus - Mum left before we did in the morning and we always got home before her, and it wasn't ever a problem - we had a rota for making dinner etc so with that and home work we always had things to be getting on with!

Mamabear425 · 30/08/2020 00:53

Tbh I can't see an issue with her being left alone until 5. It's not ideal but in reality- people have to work and I'm sure you can judge yourself if she is responsible enough.

I was always home before my parents at that age. I think it kind of does them good to have a bit of independence. Failing that, it would be a neighbour or search local pages for someone looking for an extra income.

I have similar issues around childcare but bend over backwards to accommodate it, because I love my job and sort of need to have that something for myself. If you feel the same way, stand your ground and insist to DH that a stranger/helper may be the only option.

If your not too fussed about the job, kick up a fuss at work or put in a flexible working application, or suggest job share to accommodate your needs. If they aren't willing to compromise, it may be time to look elsewhere.

Good luck! It's not easy being a working mum in this day and age!

catsarecute · 30/08/2020 01:10

I was anxious about the lack of after school provision when DS started secondary. It feels like a big step doesn't it. DH and I both work. We had to give DS a key and we asked him to text to let us know when he was home safe. He actually loved the independence and was fine, so as time went on my nerves wore off. You could see how she goes and if it's not going well, leave your job (as you said it's not for the money). Or are there any classmates houses (in the same school bubble) she could go to after school one or two days a week to break it up? An old colleague of mine paid a neighbour to look after her daughter until she got back from work. Or as others said you could look into an older teen, or look around for other childminders.

Having said all that, if you really don't need the money and it's causing stress I would be tempted to just not work for now (but that's just me haha). It's a shame your employers won't be more flexible.