Today, I fell over and pissed my pants in public

[TrufflePioneer]

So mortified. Walking the dog across the park beside our house with DH, turned my weak ankle in a rut and collapsed to my knees in the wet grass.

DH looked down and said in wonder, "Alright down there love?"

I snorted, then unexpectedly peed. Soaked my jeans to the knees. As I was still kneeling. When I tried to stand up more came out, and now DH is laughing so hard at my predicament that he can hardly help me up, and then I burst into tears.

Stupid menopause hormones, I keep crying for no reason, my pelvic floor is weak as a kitten, and now I have sore ankle.

I hope to God none of the neighbours were looking out of the window. This is right up there with slipping and falling at the crotch feet of a handsome young man, and tripping into the lift at a Big 4 city firm and saying "fuckshitbollocks" to the CFO.

I know this doesn’t help you at all but I was crossed with my family before reading your message and now I’m laughing so hard.

You will laugh at it in a few years...

Oh dear, the joys of being a woman! I also wet myself, if I sneeze too hard, laugh to hard, jump on a trampoline too vigorously or any activity really
I haven't got to the full on gushing stage yet but I'm sure it won't be long.
My husband also thinks it's hilarious "haha Cauterize wets herself"

Oh no, but on the bright side you were next to your house and reading your other stories, at least it wasn’t in that lift ;

You poor thing, I would have been mortified too. At least it was very near your house so you could get in swiftly to recover?? I hope in time you can laugh about it too and that DH is being lovely to you now!

OP. If they did see it you have probably made their day. As you have mine!

2 weeks after having DC2 I went to a child birthday party at their home. I thought it would be a good idea to get on the trampoline with them all. After a few jumps the birthday girl 4 said "oh no i think you need a nappy" good times.

I remember an MN story of a lady who was in a cafe hungover and needed an urgent poo, she feel over in the way to the toilet, blackout pooed herself and then had to go to hospital by ambulance.

I fell over a bramble last week and properly parped when I fell. My DH nearly died laughing. I was embarrassed but it was funny and thinking about it, the fact that he laughed was a good sign that he didn't think it was a big deal, didn't judge me for it (no one should but still) and was on my side. OP you must have felt dreadful, because it is awful feeling so out of control of yourself, but I hope you're feeling better now.

Aww thank you for the stories! Yes I am OK, the sensation of being so horribly out of control is unpleasant but DH did cuddle me (through his laughter) when I cried and has only called me pissypants once. So FAR. And my ankle is fine.

However, after a nice shower and clean dry kecks I was all set to start work, and went to fetch a bowl of cornflakes. DH has used up the milk and gone out (shopping, to be fair to him). I had to eat them with water.

Oops didn't mean to shout FAR, sorry. Only meant to say "so far."!

Oh op! This has just reminded me of the time when I was dating my now fiancé... we had been out drinking and I had gone back to his house.. we were in bed about to get busy.. when he threw my legs up around I farted.. really loud no getting away from it! I threw up from laughing so hard and having too much to drink and then wet myself! So if you think you’re having a bad time.. think of that! We are still together with child 7 years later

Cornflakes and water?
That's luxury that is...

@tmh88, proper laugh at that. And you are still together??

@tmh88

Oh op! This has just reminded me of the time when I was dating my now fiancé... we had been out drinking and I had gone back to his house.. we were in bed about to get busy.. when he threw my legs up around I farted.. really loud no getting away from it! I threw up from laughing so hard and having too much to drink and then wet myself! So if you think you’re having a bad time.. think of that! We are still together with child 7 years later

tmh88

Now I am really laughing at this...... sorry

Oh, sweetheart. And cornflakes with water.

I fall over all the time. Last time I did it (tripped over my own trousers) I howled like a toddler, proper snot-crying, for about half an hour out of embarrassment and pain.

And I have fallen flat on my face at the school sports day mum's run. I am not a small woman. It was quite a spectacular fall. And the school put it up on the facebook afterwards, which was nice of them.

I can't top tmh88's story, though, that's genuinely impressive. All the bodily functions at once. Gold star.

Honestly?
Maybe think before sharing your stories?

💐 OP

I am definitely stealing “fuckshitbollocks” 😂

Wow tmh88, that is excellent. I have managed similar, at the point of no return whilst receiving oral - I was the poster on a previous thread whose DH emerged from between my thighs after I'd parped in his face and said "Blimey love, you've given me a centre parting."

You poor thing!! Glad you’re ok now, but I’d have eaten the cornflakes dry rather than with water!

At the gym lastnight jumping around....I decided that next time I’ll wear a pad. Bloody 4 kids and getting older! 😭

What? The menopause makes you pee your self?! Ffs

We went out in car 2 doors for a family walk recently i sat in the rear of the car as i have shorter legs than others and when we got to park i couldn't get out of the car. My daughter found this hilarious and kept saying you live in the car now mum. I laughed so much i went myself. Not my finest hour.

And now I’m laughing so hard at your last post that I’d better go to the loo before it’s too late!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I pissed on my doorstep once 😑

I wonder if its a nerve thing in your case though? as it happened when your ankle went under....... Get thyself to the doctors for an MOT

@TrufflePioneer I loved that thread - howling at this again. I now never look at a centre parting in the same way :)

Can I recommend this? On the plus side, your day can only get better!

www.nhs.uk/apps-library/squeezy/

I peed my pants on a rollercoaster ride this week!
Thank god it was the last one of the day!