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Original poster

Today, I fell over and pissed my pants in public

83 replies

TrufflePioneer · 28/08/2020 09:28

So mortified. Walking the dog across the park beside our house with DH, turned my weak ankle in a rut and collapsed to my knees in the wet grass.

DH looked down and said in wonder, "Alright down there love?"

I snorted, then unexpectedly peed. Soaked my jeans to the knees. As I was still kneeling. When I tried to stand up more came out, and now DH is laughing so hard at my predicament that he can hardly help me up, and then I burst into tears.

Stupid menopause hormones, I keep crying for no reason, my pelvic floor is weak as a kitten, and now I have sore ankle.

I hope to God none of the neighbours were looking out of the window. This is right up there with slipping and falling at the crotch feet of a handsome young man, and tripping into the lift at a Big 4 city firm and saying "fuckshitbollocks" to the CFO.

OP posts:
MysweetAudrina · 28/08/2020 10:58

Fappers gonna fap. Why should women have to sensor their words and experiences in case some sad fuck is sitting at home pulling the knob of himself. Happy fapping I say.

Nanalisa60 · 28/08/2020 11:02

I pissed on my doorstep once 😑

This happens to me quite often!! I need to go I manage to hold it in as long as I can if out and about!! (No public toilets now coz of rona) so I manage to get home then the relief of getting there without wetting my knickers in public as I but key in the door it’s just goes.

O the joys of getting older!!

GetOffYourHighHorse · 28/08/2020 11:03

@MysweetAudrina

Fappers gonna fap. Why should women have to sensor their words and experiences in case some sad fuck is sitting at home pulling the knob of himself. Happy fapping I say.
Exactly! I wonder if the pursed lipped disapprovers on this thread police the rest of the internet telling them hush women, only talk of ladylike things in case the menz get excited.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Menopause Women's health
Purplecatshopaholic · 28/08/2020 11:03

Oh Truffle, still laughing about the ‘centre parting’ comment - if that happened to me I think I would have to LTB and indeed LTC (c = country..)

Henio · 28/08/2020 11:03

Not quite peeing myself (even though I have done that too). When I brought my baby home from hospital a few hours after giving birth, I took her out of her car seat and carried her down to the front door. Saw a cute tiny bug on the floor and didn't want it to get squashed so I bent down to move it and let out the LOUDEST and longest fart you've ever heard in front of neighbours who were moving in that day opposite my house. They obviously couldn't see the bug so must have assumed I just bent down to fart Blush

Polnm · 28/08/2020 11:03

Oh put your clipboard way and just report it if you're that worried instead of pearl clutching.

I was one of the founders of the prolapse threads more than 10 years ago and stayed on the threads for many years

I have also received PMs on here from people with fetishes including those who start by sharing their issue and trying to get more info from me

But yes I am a pearl clutcher who won’t cope with the menopause boards and not a woman who has been repeatedly targeted by wankers (literally) on Mn when over sharing over the past 15 years

ArabellaScott · 28/08/2020 11:13

Women shouldn't talk about things in case some sad sack gets off on it?

Nah. Their problem, not mine.

GetOffYourHighHorse · 28/08/2020 11:18

'have also received PMs on here from people with fetishes including those who start by sharing their issue and trying to get more info from me'

Just block them or don't reply? You cant save the internet, don't use it if it distresses you.

Someone starting a lighthearted thread shouldn't have all this disapproval. It is a common issue for many women. If it isn't genuine then so what? Just report it if it upsets you.

'Women shouldn't talk about things in case some sad sack gets off on it? Nah. Their problem, not mine.'

This!!

Original poster
TrufflePioneer · 28/08/2020 11:21

I shall censor myself immediately. It will make a change from pissing myself.

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 28/08/2020 11:50

Please go and see a physio that specialises in these sorts of issues. Women are badly let down by the NHS in this area. In France women have post natal physio to strengthen their pelvic floor.

VodselForDinner · 28/08/2020 11:52

I just snorted at the idea of someone “founding” a thread.

Where’s the blue plaque for that one?

KooKooKachu · 28/08/2020 11:59

@TrufflePioneer

Wow tmh88, that is excellent. I have managed similar, at the point of no return whilst receiving oral - I was the poster on a previous thread whose DH emerged from between my thighs after I'd parped in his face and said "Blimey love, you've given me a centre parting."
Can't stop laughing Grin
whiplashy · 28/08/2020 12:14

this thread has horrified me! it isn’t normal to pee yourself at any time of life and shouldn’t be accepted as just one of those things or a funny anecdote! there are treatments to help this. Only in the U.K. is this accepted as normal and it’s weird

Lugubelenus · 28/08/2020 12:20

I hate those adverts featuring young women wearing incontinence knickers - as others have said there is physiotherapy available for pelvic floor issues, and in extreme cases, surgical intervention. Incontinence shouldn't be accepted as normal for women who are menopausal or who have had children. Anyone with bladder issues should be encouraged to seek medical advice.

GetOffYourHighHorse · 28/08/2020 12:24

'Only in the U.K. is this accepted as normal and it’s weird'

I don't think it's normal, but it is common and people are reluctant to talk about it or laugh about it on mn incase they are called a 'perv' by hand wringers.

An embarrassing anecdote is one thing, the op isn't on an incontinence site suggesting everyone shrug the shoulders and just accept it.

ArabellaScott · 28/08/2020 12:37

'Only in the U.K. is this accepted as normal and it’s weird'

Oh, rubbish. Women the world over have had incontinence issues since childbirth was invented. While yes, it is worth getting in touch with a physio etc to see if you can improve the situation., please don't try and make out it's some weird outlier experience peculiar to the UK!

MJMG2015 · 28/08/2020 12:42

People have weird fetishes about all kinds of things, it doesn't mean women people should stop discussing things. It's helpful to know 'you're not the only one' when these things happen and that there's help available

I'd rather a woman got help and 100 weirdos had a wank, than no wanking and no help! Some saddo wanking in his crusty old sock doesn't hurt anyone.

StrangeLookingParasite · 28/08/2020 12:49

@ChazsBrilliantAttitude

Please go and see a physio that specialises in these sorts of issues. Women are badly let down by the NHS in this area. In France women have post natal physio to strengthen their pelvic floor.
Yes, the rééducation périnée. (Sounds like labour camp for ones bits - which in a way I suppose it is).
blackteaplease · 28/08/2020 13:20

@Seriouslymole there are two options local to me. The bladder and bowel clinic for continence issues and the women's health physio team. I got a gp referral for the first for my dd and a midwife referral for the second for me as it was pregnancy related. Have a Google of your NHS trust to see what they offer and speak to your gp

Original poster
TrufflePioneer · 28/08/2020 13:29

Thanks for all the supportive messages, much appreciated. I hesitated when I first went to post this, in full knowledge that I'd either be accused of piss-trolling, or that someone would say "don't share piss stories for the piss-fappers". I even said as much when I first wrote it, something like don't over share piss stories but tell me about falling over by all means - but deleted it, thinking that grown adults can make their own choices about what to share and I don't get to police that.

So I thought, fuck it, I'm no troll and MN could vouch for that, and anyway, if some odd fetishist looks up weeing stories and enjoys a long wank over a tubby middle aged woman peeing her pants and crying about being menopausal, he can have his (or her) wank with my compliments. To my knowledge I am unaffected.

I didn't intend this to become a thread about menopausal incontinence, it was meant to be a silly thread for silly tales of doing silly things. I was embarrassed at the time and my DH thought it was hilarious, but I thought MN would appreciate the comedy element. I was willing to sacrifice my usual poise and dignity to raise a laugh, something I do often as you can see from my other stories.

Yes, I am seeing a urologist for this issue, it's been going on a while. Covid has delayed things, that's all.

OP posts:
DillonPanthersTexas · 28/08/2020 13:30

Which people with specific sexual fetishising scan for such threads?

I'm sure there is more dedicated websites out there for those of a certain fetish pursuation to spend their time on then combing through mumsnet threads.

Nanalisa60 · 28/08/2020 13:32

Only in the U.K. is this accepted as normal and it’s weird

How very dare you!!

There was nothing wrong with my pelvis muscles after I had my children, I only started getting a little bit of wee Sometimes when I hit menopause!!

But as I’m A British women I’m not ashamed and do not hiding myself away like a bloody leper.

ekidmxcl · 28/08/2020 13:33

I certainly see the comedy element. These things happen!

My dd, years ago, aged 4, pulled down her leggings in public, simulataneously declaring "CAN'T WAIT" and literally shat. I had to catch the turd in my bare hand before walking a looong way to find a toilet to flush it down! My kids are teens and the whole family still laughs about this.

kemosabeimalone · 28/08/2020 13:34

Happened to me while racing after my then toddler who had slipped my hand and was running at full pelt towards a main road. Thankfully I managed to catch him but I remember being furious at my stupid bladder at emptying at such an inappropriate moment. It was very impairing in a crisis!

Ozgirl75 · 28/08/2020 14:08

Now I have that Taylor Swift song going round my head but with “fappers gonna fap”.