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Original poster

Using a sunflower lanyard to fake disability

72 replies

YNK · 27/08/2020 20:07

I'd like your views on this.

I have a hidden disability (a brain injury) and was horribly humiliated by a woman who thought I was looking at her in a checkout queue yesterday.

She started talking in a very loud voice saying "look at her - she knows she cant say anything to me because of this" (indicating her lanyard)
I wasn't even aware of her existence until she raised her voice and it took me a few moments to understand her abuse was aimed at me.
She told everyone within earshot they should buy a lanyard off the internet so no one would question them.

How can people genuinely in need of help and assistance distance or distinguish themselves from people abusing the lanyard?

OP posts:
Bravefarts · 27/08/2020 20:09

Urm, she sounds like she has issues... And so probably needs the lanyard to alert people?!

Who says she's faking anything?

Alwaystheoddoneout · 27/08/2020 20:11

I've never heard of the sunflower lanyard, so I wouldn't even know what that meant. I've just googled it so I know now, but I wouldn't have known before.

TwoCupsOfLemonTea · 27/08/2020 20:12

I'd someone goes to the trouble of buying a lanyard to get out of wearing a mask ... crack on! Karma will bite them on arse.

Sirzy · 27/08/2020 20:13

In this case you don’t know if she did or didn’t have a disability.

However I am not a fan on the sunflower lanyard scheme anyway. I think it has lost a lot of its meaning and just complicates things generally

latticechaos · 27/08/2020 20:13

Flowers so sorry this happened, she sounds very messy, try not to take it to heart.

Original poster
YNK · 27/08/2020 20:23

I know nothing about her except what she was loudly saying. Prior to her announcement I hadn't noticed her at all.
She said she was wearing it so people could not challenge her and was telling others how to do the same. Suggesting I'm making assumptions about her is making an assumption about me, and an inaccurate one at that.
My question is not about masks, it's about buying and using a lanyard that is intended to alert people to the wearers need for extra help and assistance due to hidden disability and instead using it to prevent being challenged for any reason.

OP posts:
Original poster
YNK · 27/08/2020 20:29

@Bravefarts

Urm, she sounds like she has issues... And so probably needs the lanyard to alert people?!

Who says she's faking anything?

The lanyard is not meant to alert people that someone with 'issues' warrants extra help and assistance though.

At least that's not my understanding of it.

Personally I wouldn't wear one in case it attracted unwanted attention or drew the wrong kind of attention to my vulnerability.

I have ID kept with my credit cards that I can use if I need help

OP posts:
Bravefarts · 27/08/2020 20:31

It's exactly for people with issues.

bookmum08 · 27/08/2020 20:31

I think she will be a minority (if she was a fake). Most people won't be arsed to find the website and order a lanyard just to get the chance to jump the queue at airports/not wear a mask/say whatever they want etc. If they can be arsed to go to that much effort then they are rather sad and pathetic people who we shouldn't bother to give headspace.

Butterer · 27/08/2020 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
YNK · 27/08/2020 20:39

I do not think it's for people with issues to enable them to behave as they please without being challenged. Do you have more information about that?
She was telling people how easy it is to get one and that you can even pick them up free in certain places. She specifically said it's very easy and anyone can get one and once you have it no one can say a word to you. She was shouting at me "look at her - she knows she cant say anything to me because of this" indicating her lanyard. Up until then I was just minding my own business waiting to pay for my shopping.

OP posts:
Byallmeans · 27/08/2020 20:42

So a woman was openly bragging about buying a fake disability lanyard in the shop?

Unbelievable

Butterer · 27/08/2020 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Butterer · 27/08/2020 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bravefarts · 27/08/2020 20:53

@Butterer That is what I thought.

And it sounds like she may well have issues.

Original poster
YNK · 27/08/2020 20:56

No, she said that wearing one means no one can say anything to her, not me. She also said 'no one will tell me what I can and cant do - I didn't say a word during the whole thing. I turned away from her and kept my head down.

My brain injury does make me look very different to how I used to look and even I would agree that I probably look 'strange' to some people, but it's not something I advertise.

No she wasn't wearing a mask but as I say, no one was making any issue about it and I hadn't noticed her at all until she started shouting. I was confused at first (I'm often confused anyway) because I couldn't understand why she would have a problem with me.

OP posts:
Original poster
YNK · 27/08/2020 20:59

So her saying she was wearing it so no one could say anything to her is acceptable?

So if her issue is that she wants to abuse people because she wishes to, is that ok?

OP posts:
Butterer · 27/08/2020 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hastingsmua1 · 27/08/2020 21:02

Maybe she does have issues, you can get the lanyards for mental health conditions too.

But if she is faking it, I’m not surprised as aren’t people given them on a no-questions-asked basis? They’re easy to obtain and thus easy to abuse

Samcro · 27/08/2020 21:03

I am surprised any one is surprised., people have been happily getting radar keys for years.
Of course people will do the same with this.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 27/08/2020 21:05

I'm going to gently suggest that she's just a knobend.

Having worked in retail for 8 years and throughout lockdown, I feel pretty confident that twats outnumber people with genuine disabilities. They outnumber most people actually... Can't swing a cat around here without hitting a cunt.

Original poster
YNK · 27/08/2020 21:09

No, I keep saying this. She was the one telling everyone they should get one because they give them to anyone - she even pointed to people and said "you could get one and you could get one, they don't ask you for anything" This is what she said, not me. A few people asked if you could just get one if you just asked and she told them yes, that was the case.
The abuse went on for quite a while since the person in front of me had a lot of shopping.

OP posts:
crankysaurus · 27/08/2020 21:09

It may well be that she was specifically referencing wearing a lanyard so as not to be questioned about wearing a mask, and had a go at you as she thought you were staring at her due to her lack of mask. That's a great deal of hate and confrontation about masks at the moment and lanyards being recommended for people who can't wear one, for mental health as well as hidden disabilities. Hopefully when Covid has finally passed, the hysteria around masks will die down and sunflower lanyards will go back to their previous use. Sorry you were at the confrontational end of this.

Wishfulthinking1977 · 27/08/2020 21:12

It's a really difficult one, I wear a lanyard and exemption badge because I am considered exempt, but... I do avoid most places that masks are required as I do feel judged and open to abuse, saying that I haven't been in a situation yet where I have had negative comments but that could either be because I live in a small town and the shops I run in and out of already are aware or because I avoid the places I feel I would be judged, but even if I was in that situation I wouldn't feel the need to announce it loudly if someone looked at me, as I feel self conscious enough! The only time I personally would say anything is if anyone became nasty towards me due to my not mask wearing/wearing my lanyard and in that situation I think I would be justified? This person wasn't and was just being a bitch! Xx

Brieminewine · 27/08/2020 21:13

I would assume the lady has MH problems, not that she was fraudulently wearing a lanyard and being abusive to strangers for no reason.

Surely that’s the more logical explanation here?

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