Using a sunflower lanyard to fake disability

[YNK]

I'd like your views on this.

I have a hidden disability (a brain injury) and was horribly humiliated by a woman who thought I was looking at her in a checkout queue yesterday.

She started talking in a very loud voice saying "look at her - she knows she cant say anything to me because of this" (indicating her lanyard)
I wasn't even aware of her existence until she raised her voice and it took me a few moments to understand her abuse was aimed at me.
She told everyone within earshot they should buy a lanyard off the internet so no one would question them.

How can people genuinely in need of help and assistance distance or distinguish themselves from people abusing the lanyard?

If I were in U.K., I would not buy a sunflower hidden disability lanyard on principle. The law and rules say you don’t need anything to prove you are exempt. To be forced to BUY something from a charity and then wear it in public for all around you to believe you are exempt is a de facto tax on and discrimination against disabled people- The segment of the population most likely to be in poverty or extreme poverty.

PlanDe you don't have to buy the lanyards. You can get them for free. We got one (2 actually - both free) for my daughter who has ASD. It's not to stop people discriminating against her - it's more to show that if she somehow got separated from us or is panicking or frightened and she may need help. Nothing about 'laws'.

PlanDe also my daughter's lanyard is nothing to do with being exempt from mask wearing. They have existed for several years waaaaaaay before anyone had heard of covid.

You need to have an exemption card to

You don't need to have anything, legally speaking. Your word is enough. Anyone can buy an exemption card on Amazon, they carry no legal weight.

I totally agree and understand why you don't need to have anything legally. But if it will potentially minimise the uncomfortable situation, why not, is my stance.
It's clear in this OP's case, she was verbally abused for no reason, by someone who wears the lanyard. She wouldn't have done it to her if she was aware, or others would have said something.

We aren't dogs who need to be tagged for identification. I dont really care about avoiding uncomfortable situations, I'm just as likely to tell busybodies to fuck off as I am to explain myself. I suggest the OP do the same.

nothingcanhurtme would you say that medical alert bracelets are like 'dogs tags' too? They also make people aware they have a 'hidden disability' - ie diabetes or a heart issue or 101 other things and may need medical help.

It sounds as though this woman genuinely needed a lanyard. Her behaviour, though certainly unpleasant, may well be related to a disability. Loudly proclaiming that anyone can get a lanyard may have been her way of trying to avoid embarrassment (if she thought you were judging her) and not wanting to appear vulnerable. A sort of over-compensation: "See, anyone can have one of these, I'm no different to anyone else." Of course, I have no way of knowing what her motivation was, this is just speculation of one possibility.

As for how to distinguish people who genuinely need a lanyard from those who don't? I would say it is impossible to make that distinction, and it's always better to assume that anyone wearing a lanyard really needs it.

Medical alert tags which I wear too, BTW, are for the benefit of the wearer and actually have a purpose beyond "please don't have a go at me for something that is none of your business. "

We legally do not have to explain or prove exemption to any nosy, gobby fucker who cares to demand it.

I am not sure what you gain from having a lanyard that makes them so sought after. They are just there to indicate you might need a bit of extra help or space. There doesn't seem to be a huge advantage.

nothingcanhurtme I don't really what you mean. I replied to you because you refered to the lanyards as being like dog tags and you are now saying the lanyards don't have a purpose. Well the reason we got one for my daughter is because she has autism. If we are out and something happened where she is separated from us it identifies that she may need extra help. It's zero to do with explaining or proving anything.

And in that situation they are useful. What I'm getting annoyed with is not you, its the people who say that people exempt from masks should wear them and if they dont its their own fault if they get confronted. And saying that people not wearing one should be questioned as to why. That's what I'm protesting. Not the use of lanyards in general. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clearer.

The lanyard seems pointless if you can just buy them on the internet. Of course some people are shameless enough to take advantage, meaning that genuine users of the lanyard don't always get the support they need. A photo-ID exemption badge that people could only get through their doctor would be better.

A photo-ID exemption badge that people could only get through their doctor would be better.

Agreed. If only the government had put even a tiny bit of thought into this and produced such a scheme. It's not like they didn't have months to do so.

I raised the issue with my MP, not just around masks but compiling a register of people who may need additional help but fall short of the shielding criteria. He sent me a link to the sunflower lanyards!

A photo ID card could be dangerous for children or adults with autism or learning disabilities because they may have no concept of stranger danger and may accept someone 'knows' them because they are calling them by their name.
Not a good idea.

@bookmum08

A photo ID card could be dangerous for children or adults with autism or learning disabilities because they may have no concept of stranger danger and may accept someone 'knows' them because they are calling them by their name. Not a good idea.

It wouldn't necessarily have to have their name on it - the photo would be sufficient to establish that it was being worn by the person it was issued to.

While I agree that woman sounds really annoying and I'd hate to be in a shop with her, that doesn't means he was faking.

It's really not that uncommon for disabled people to tell others they don't need proof to get accessibility. My late FIL did it all the time - any access issue, he'd know, I've friends who've done it, I've done it. There are so many hoops to jump for some things, much of which involves far more burecrats than doctors, so yeah, when people don't have to do that, some enjoy sharing that.

I mean, people do know that radar keys for public disabled toilets are sold by local authorities and various places online? No place I know of that sells them requires any evidence to do so and no one I know who uses one got theirs through the doctor. That doesn't make them useless.

She wouldn't have done it to her if she was aware, or others would have said something

While that would be nice, I really doubt it. I've had people shout all sorts at me, in busy public places, without getting any aid even with really obvious mobility aids (for some, that's why they were shouting at me - either I was using my own aid wrong according to them or they thought I was faking & only their shouting would fix that).

Can I just say, yet again that the woman herself said you don't need to have anything wrong with you as you can just buy one.
She made this point many times.
It was not me who suggested lanyards are used fraudulently.

I thought the point of the sunflower lanyard was to indicate that the wearer had a condition that might mean they act oddly or inappropriately, and therefore needed a bit of extra understanding eg autism.

This women shouting and repeating herself in the supermarket sounds like she fits that bill. I'd assume she has a MH condition, learning disability or something and not let her behaviour worry you.

I would say the woman herself had a hidden disability.

I’m sorry she targeted you.