Mum in final few hours of pancreatic cancer

[top2patooties]

Scared for the day ahead, my lovely mum has been ravaged by this disgusting disease during the last 3 months....how will I find the strength to cope with losing her in the cruelest of ways? :(

So sorry to hear this OP, handhold

Oh, how agonising. I'm so sorry. Love to both of you. I think it was very smart of you to post here. I didn't think of that when my parents died and have over the years realized how much hidden commonality there is in these experiences, and been very comforted by sharing it.

Basically, I think it's either agitation or morphine. They may not 'be' as agitated as they seem, ie rather a sort of final efflorescence of nervous activity isn't the same as a basically well person being agitated during a fever -- ie it's out of our own ken. I have always regretted to be honest that my DF accepted a morphine shot about three days before he died (to 'try' it, before it became necessary, the nurse said). He had liver failure and so it basically just knocked him out for his final hours. Given that he had fought very hard to stop drinking, there was something especially upsetting about losing him when he was, basically, under the influence. DM died recently of cancer, agitated. In the short term that was worse, but in the long term it gave me more of a feeling that she was suffering and trying to leave and more of a sense (somehow) of closure. My father was someone I was having a conversation with and then he was breathing oddly and grunting and that was the end.

Think about whether you want to sit with the body? My parents were also Catholic and although the idea seemed gruesome, it helped me a lot. (I still found the dead body gruesome, but it really helped to see it as a body that they had left behind. It was amazing to me how uninhabited both of my parents' bodies seemed within minutes of them dying.) I was with quite a large group of relatives, though.

I’m so very sorry you are going through this. I know the feeling of worrying how you will cope but you will and hopefully in the future you will take some comfort in knowing that you were with your mum in her final days.
I hope that her passing is peaceful. Sending much love and strength for you both

Sending you hugs. Please be kind to yourself xx

Sending a handhold, to you,
@top2patooties, and @BarbedBloom

I remember losing my mum a couple of years ago, and I still have moments where I feel like a child and I want my mum, despite being in my early 50s.

Thinking of you & your mum.

Thinking of you all who are in this situation. I hope you all have some peace and comfort from lots of lovely happy times together and the love you have

Handhold for you, I lost my mum very recently to cancer and I felt bewildered by it. Sending you hugs across the Internet, hope you find solace and peace and have support around you

Sending you love, light and a hand-hold.

I wish your Mum a restful and peaceful passing.