Mum in final few hours of pancreatic cancer

[top2patooties]

Scared for the day ahead, my lovely mum has been ravaged by this disgusting disease during the last 3 months....how will I find the strength to cope with losing her in the cruelest of ways? :(

I say with my father as he died and his last hours were peaceful. I hope it’s the same for your mother. I was relieved by knowing his years of suffering were over. It wasn’t as terrible as I thought it would be. I think I’d mourned a lot beforehand. 💐

hugs

Thinking of you

Sending love and hugs.
I lost my mum to pancreatic cancer - it's a horrible awful disease. You're not alone. We are all with you and we understand.
Thinking of you tonight. Xx

Hi OP. So sorry to hear about your mum. My mum passed away from cancer almost 3 years ago so I do know how you feel. You said your mum is a very religious RC. My mum was a practising Christian. Does your mum have a local priest who might be available to come and see her? Before my mum passed away the pastor came and read to her and members of the church who were in the gospel choir came and sang to her. Though I was devastated to lose my mum, she had a beautiful passing (just how she would have wanted it).

I'm so sorry for you and your dear mum. I lost my lovely dad just before lockdown. Talk to your mum, hold her hand and tell her how much you love her. It will be a comfort to her (and to you too, in times to come) xx

I am so so sorry, it is really hard and I know what it's like (my dear old Mum died a long time ago with a similar cancer).

Just be there as much as you can, she will know you are there and those moments are precious.

I do know about the agitation. My Mum was in a hospice and had this a couple of times, I lived an hour away and got up in the night to go to her... she was so much more peaceful the next day and I hope it's the same for your Mum.
Thinking of you.

My sympathy to you OP.

I lost my mum just over a week ago to cancer. She walked into hospital with a referral letter from her GP after unexplained anaemia. She stayed in for a week and was told she has extensive gastric cancer that had spread throughout her body. She was dead within 2 weeks.

We had no option for a hospice place so we had her at home. Don't feel bad about your DM being in a hospice. My sister and I cared for our DM and it was hard, scary, lonely, traumatic with beautiful moments in between. My DM also had terminal agitation and she shouted out at me all through one night that I was going to bury her alive or she was angry that she'd 'woken up dead'. It was so frightening.
I totally understand how utterly awful this is for your DM and also yourself.

I wish your mum a peaceful passing. I felt immense heartbreak with a bit of relief (for her). I haven't even begun to come to terms with it, it was so swift.

I wrote a thread on MN in the dark hours of the night when I was alone caring for my DM and MN's were so lovely and supportive. A real comfort to me in the dark hours.

Love and strength to you and your lovely mum OP

Im so sorry OP. Has a priest seen her and given her the last rites? She might well be aware of those around her and take some peave from that

I'm so sorry OP, wishing you a lot of strength during this difficult time

Sending you a massive hug. My mum died from pc in 2011, absolutely horrendous disease. I found her going very peaceful, she had a syringe driver in and slept most of the time. The agony that she was showing 3 days before she went has never left me. I hope that everything is as calm as it can be.

Milicentbystander72
To be so sudden is so shocking. I feel for you greatly. So sorry.

I hope your mum is peaceful. Unfortunately my dads last hours weren't. He passed not long after I basically gave him permission.
Even 15 years after his death I wouldn't wish what he went through on my worst enemy.
I wish I'd known about mumsnet back then.

I had reason to spend quite a bit of time in a hospice and I think often it is the best place, as you can get much more immediate pain relief and sedation than at home (unless you have home hospice facilities which many places do not). If you feel your mum is getting upset or restless, alert the staff, I never used to wait until they came round, I just used to interrupt their typing! That way they can give something immediately, which is a big relief. Syringe drivers are great in these situations, and they can medicate agitation. Hugs to you, such a hard path and your mum is lucky to have you by her side.

So sorry to hear this. I've been there and it's just the worst. Sending you lots of love and strength. Xxx

Thinking of you tonight , you are not alone . You are a strong, loving daughter . Your mum knows you are with her, She can hear you . I pray and know you will have the strength you need . X

If your DM is in a hospice she will be very well taken care off.
I supported my cousin through this awful disease two years ago and she fought it with all her might but it’s a battle that cannot be won.
I took strength from being there for her and the care given by the amazing hospice staff.
It’s one of the cruelest diseases there is. I hope you have good support around you as you are dealing with this.

I know how it feels. I sat with my mum in a private room in hospital as she died of this horrible disease. Pancreatic cancer is just awful. Hold her hand, tell her how much you love her and help her over to the other side. May she rest in peace. My thoughts really are with you.

Sending you love and to your mum 💖

So sorry to hear about your mum

I really feel for you OP. The agitation you talk about must be most distressing. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Sending you love and a handhold.

Thinking of you and sending a virtual hug. I am on a similar journey with my father and even though I’m 53 I feel like a bewildered child in the face of it. I hope your mother’s faith is bringing her comfort and I wish you all strength tonight and over the hours, days, weeks to come. I’m told that things that are most painful about losing someone are later a comfort, when you look back on the happy things that you miss, they become positive and comforting memories.

Thinking of you and your mum OP

My mum died of pancreatic cancer almost a year ago. It is shit.
Be with your mum, hold her hand, give her hand massages, talk to her. Don't hesitate if you think she needs pain relief though xx

Sending you and your mum love