Totally buggered up interview. Please tell me your awful interview cock ups, make me laugh and not feel like such a dumbass.

[crosser62]

Turned up a day early.
Drenched to the skin.
A. DAY. EARLY.
A full 24 hours.
Early.

When I was interviewing a guy for a position at work as a tutor somehow he steered an interview answer into talking about his own sperm! Suffice to say he didn't get the job 😂

Went for an interview at a National newspaper.

Me: I really love the newspaper
Interviewer: What do you love about it
Me: ...... it’s really big

I didn’t get the job but I was down to the last 2!

Not me but a colleague.
We were all being interviewed for our own jobs as part of a reorganisation (local authority) so we were all quite resentful.
She reckoned she'd done ok but on the way out the doorknob came away in her hand.
The room was upstairs at the back of the building away from general traffic and not one of them had a phone!
They all ended up calling for help and eventually the next candidate went up to see why she was kept waiting and was able to rescue them.
It became the stuff of legend around the department!

I once flounced out of a ridiculous 'group' interview, only to then realise I'd forgotten my beloved (denim, ha) jacket.

I HAD to go back in to get it, just did. Felt like a right fool

@thebearwentoverthebumble

I had an interview at B&Q about 10 years ago, i was in my early 20s I was so nervous and half way through the interview I just stopped speaking, I couldn't say anything it was like severe stage fright, the interview lady popped out of the room and I ran away 😭🤣 I did get a call the next day but I didn't answer my phone.

I've done similar. They asked what I did in my spare time, I said 'read'. They asked what I liked to read, I said 'books'. I gave one word answers until they let me run free.

I was late, because I had got lost. Because I had got lost I had walked miles in my nice interview shoes and had developed bleeding blisters, so was limping badly. I had hair like a Troll due to panic sweating as I searched for the fucking place. We had a group stage to the interview and my approach to the written task which we then discussed as a group was totally, totally different from everyone else's. In the panel stage later in the day I responded to one question with "that's a bit of a 'how long is a piece of string question isn't it?' and when asked where I saw myself in 5 years told three managers 'well certainly not in management'.

I did get the job, but I do wonder just how bad the other candidates written and panel stages were- for me to get appointed on the basis of that day they must have been dire!

First interview in London after living up North all my life. Very posh offices in Belgravia. Terrified! He asked me about my existing job and I was raving about it and he said 'Sounds like you should stay there' and I said 'Yes i think I will.' 😳 Whyyyyyyy?

I really like your cardigan 😂

At least you didn't do this.....

A colleague and I interviewed someone for an admin role. I'd just come back from a holiday and had caught the sun a bit, so the skin on my face was quite dry. We concluded the interview; the candidate leant forward and pulled a bit of peeling skin from my nose.

She didn't get the job

Not me but someone I knew went to an interview in Germany for a German firm. He flew there using Lufthansa. The first question was the inevitable 'How was your journey ?' followed by 'which airline did you fly'. He replied 'Luftwaffe' and didn't even realise he'd made a mistake. Unsurprisingly he didn't get that job.

Fuck me that's brilliant 😂😂😂

@FaffingForEngland

At least you didn't do this.....

A colleague and I interviewed someone for an admin role. I'd just come back from a holiday and had caught the sun a bit, so the skin on my face was quite dry. We concluded the interview; the candidate leant forward and pulled a bit of peeling skin from my nose.

She didn't get the job

Omg she must have been sitting there all through the interview with that piece off skin annoying her! Can't believe she did that

It's unbelievable isn't it. My manager suggested we should give her the job. I gave him a and an 'I don't bloody think so!'

Just before they let a class in for my interview lesson I was nervous and pulled at my beaded necklace which broke... beads went everywhere, they wouldn’t let the class in until it was all cleared up and was a slip hazard... I was crawling around the classroom picking up 100 beads

Oh these are wonderful! 🤣🤣 I needed a laugh today.
I once (note that: once and I was 19) answered that “where do you see yourself in 5 years time” question with “Oh not here...” and then rambled about the actual career I wanted and explained that this was just a stopgap between jobs.
I didn’t get the position.
I am now in the career I want though!

Congratulations OP!

I once had a massive brain fart in an interview about diurnal vs semi-diurnal tides. Couldn’t remember which one was which for the life of me. Ended up a bit shamefacedly going “you know, it’s the one that’s twice a day” Got the job though

I still get cold sweats about the memory of an interview I had for a bank where the first bit went well, aced the customer service scenarios; but then they brought in someone else to grill me - I thought I was doing well bulshitting about possible career paths with them but he could somehow tell I wasn’t interested in the long haul and just wanted a stopgap. He was so abrupt and aggressive it was so awkward. Got really shirty when I didn’t have a spare copy of my CV to hand him. Ever since that interview I always make sure I have loads of copies when I interview, never been bloody asked for one since!!!

Another first ever interview, when asked about my weaknesses, I said 'mayonnaise'!

No idea why that popped out other than that I'm allergic to the stuff.

I didn't get the job!

'Young me' once confidently answered the 'where do you see yourself in 5 years?' question with "sitting in your seat" 😳

The 60-ish year old CEO was not terribly impressed 😂 I had read an article about interview techniques, which had said something like 'show how confident you are to get ahead in the organisation'. 18 year old me probably over-egged my abilities a little bit there I think 🤔

My first interview after having DS. Hadn't been in an office environment for about four years. Was given an in-tray exercise to do at a PC in an open plan office. Was led to the computer which was already on and given the task on a sheet. Put my hand on the computer mouse to open up Excel and thought 'how odd,there's no wire'. Got up and approached the member of staff who was supervising me and said that the mouse was missing a wire/not plugged in. She gave me a look and said 'it's a wireless mouse'. I laughed it off but couldn't stop cringing for the rest of the afternoon. In my defence, they weren't really a thing when I'd last worked in an office! She wasn't on the panel thank goodness.

@Seychelles98, yes I did

at least you know the route there op

i also turned up a day early to a job
when i did go to the interview turns out it was full time and i wanted part time!

it had been going so well as well, they looked so keen

Given 24 hours notice of interview, interview taking place on hottest day of year so far. No time to buy anything lightweight to wear, e.g. linen, so stupidly decided to wear a smart suit rather than a dress.

Arrived for interview and because of Covid-19 restrictions had to wait in the tarmac courtyard outside the office, baking even in the shade.

Interviewers came out to meet me, one of them looked me up and down, was shown to interview room in a very old wooden building with no air conditioning. Sweated profusely throughout, all down my face and chest Was so embarrassed and apologised for being so unprofessional but they were fine about it, said to take off my jacket, but when I did, my t-shirt was sticking to my back

The interview itself went fairly well, somehow answered all the questions and was shown around the office - but didn't get offered. Suspect it was because of my sweating.

ItsReallyOnlyMe and Happy now101: it's 11:30pm-ish and I have just startled the cat by exploding with laughter! Thanks for posting!