Different cultures?

[Anon247]

I have a couple of Asian friends who are lovely people. I enjoy their company apart from the constant reminder of how much money things costs. My friends do not know one another, so I spend time with them separately. There are 2 common threads...they are both Indian and they always take pleasure in telling me the price of their buys. The constant talk of money makes me feel uncomfortable, and I am querying whether they both feel that I am “beneath” them in the social class divide.

Can anyone enlighten me? Is this a culture thing and Indians talk about their wealth a lot or is there a message for me from both people?

Cultural. I find many Americans have the same focus on salary levels and how much things cost.

MIL does this but she is white British working class. She'll show me something and say things like '£2 from Asda' or '£20 from Wilko' with no other comment/body language to indicate whether she thinks it's good value or a rip off and I honestly have no idea what point she is trying to make.

Some people are weird. People often take the piss if they see Waitrose or M&S branded products in our house (we're all working class Yorkshire folk, so it's seen as posh and expensive) but the reality is that most of our shopping comes from Aldi or Asda but we don't buy drinks with artificial sweetner in so the only place you can get full sugar high juice is Waitrose or M&S and it's also the cheapest as it's only £1.50 a bottle so I will stock up every so often. But it's like they have 'Waitrose radar' to detect evidence of profligacy.

I understand it could be a cultural difference. However, what is there to gain from this? Are they proving themselves? Or is money a conversation topic like the weather is in UK?

@Anon247

It's just normal in some cultures. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

This feels like incitement to racist behaviour, so I’ve reported.

@CherryPavlova

This feels like incitement to racist behaviour, so I’ve reported.

So have I!!

Cherrypavlova.: please don’t misunderstand. I have no such intention.

We should be able to discuss cultural differences. If we cannot discuss differences then humans will never be able to understand each other.

This feels like incitement to racist behaviour, so I’ve reported.

Why is asking a question in order to better understand a perceived cultural behaviour racist?

asking questions is racist?

My husband is from South America, they talk a lot about getting good prices for things.

Well different cultures have very different attitudes/consensus over lots of different issues, money being quite a biggy, so I don't see what's wrong with asking the question and it's impossible to discuss whether it might be a cultural difference without saying which background the people in question are from.

No-one's saying what's wrong or right and I'm sure that people from other countries think that the British are odd about money and lots of other things because they're done differently.

But sometimes the 'bar' for perceived racism is set very low. I was once accused of xenophobia on here because I suggested that a French au pair would probably prefer a cooked lunch rather than the sandwiches that her employer was providing and the au pair was complaining about.

asking questions is racist?

Apparently so I've heard it all now. Unbelievable.

The South Americans do think the Brits are odd! We are uptight with our conversation (we avoid tricky topics like religion and politics) and get embarrassed very easily!

However, what is there to gain from this? Are they proving themselves? Or is money a conversation topic like the weather is in UK?

Different culture. The ability to bargain hunt and haggle is source of pride in many Asian communities. They are "proving themselves" but not in a "I've loads of money" way, rather a "I'm an amazing negotiator way". It's really not something to be irritated about (you'd be better off learning the ways of the haggle from them!)

It's different in all cultures. In my parents' culture (non English), our relatives would never talk about money but are very lavish when it comes to things even if they have little money. I don't quite understand it. They are extremely generous with meals when people visit and also there is an argument over who pays the bill when people go out together (everyone wants to pay). People never ever complain about having no money.

I was born and brought up in England and am naturally cautious with money and try to budget. I am constantly considered frugal by my family and it's a running joke.

Thank you iamtomhanks, I never looked at it like that. You have opened my eyes!

Asking questions is not racist. Asking questions which offer a stereotypical and negative impression of people based on heritage or colour is.

My nana used to bring every individual item of food shopping she'd bought into the living room to tell us how much it was.

She was from Yorkshire 🤷🏻‍♀️

@CherryPavlova

This feels like incitement to racist behaviour, so I’ve reported.

I love it when posters simply can't contain themselves, and instead of quietly (and more importantly anonymously) pressing "report" feel the need to virtue signal to us all how in the zone they are.

As to whether it's a cutural thing or not ... who knows ? But I've noticed the behaviour described from different people over the years and they certainly didn't share a culture. However, in a desperate bid to be flagged as being "reported" myself, I will suggest it does sometimes seem more women than men that do this. But then (of course) it's usually women that have to work within a budget for children, clothes and food anyway.

@CherryPavlova

The stereotype that Indians talk about money?

Is that even negative? Or a common stereotype?

Different cultures do discuss money differently. Can't we just take people in good faith sometimes instead of shutting down every single discussion?

Incitement to racist behaviour? Dear god - what have we come to! Is there anything left for people to get offended at!
Hang on - full stops. According to the DM this morning they are perceived as intimidating and aggressive. They're probably racist, too.

I was married to an Indian man who used to video call his parents back in India once a week. If we had bought any new clothing or a household item, he always had to show them and tell them how much it cost. Their dynamic was that he was showing them to show them how well he was doing. They were very materialistic. I found it odd but a lot about their relationship was odd to me as white British.

*My nana used to bring every individual item of food shopping she'd bought into the living room to tell us how much it was.

She was from Yorkshire 🤷🏻‍♀️*

I think the love a good bargain is a trait that spans many cultures, and even within cultures. There's probably a socio-economic or class aspect to it. I don't think it surprising that you'd witness similarities between British and Indian cultures, given the cross over during colonialism.

In my experience, it's more common to talk about money and the prices of things in a haggling culture. When you can actively bargain over a price, it creates an immediate point of interest/conversation. Not like spending the £2.99 it said on the label!