Have the government forgotten about grandparents?

[Argeles]

My parents usually look after our children while my Husband and I go to work (pre-lockdown).

As we are a couple and my parents are a couple, we are not allowed to form a bubble.

So, what will happen on the 1st September when my Husband and I have to physically return to work?

My parents are very concerned about breaking the ‘bubble’ rules, and we are very worried as we have no other childcare options. I know of at least 7 other families in my DD’s class who are in the same situation too, and know there will be many, many more across the country.

Is a government announcement on this imminent, or have grandparents been forgotten about??? I can’t believe there hasn’t been any information on this!

I'm seeing so many elderly people at moment struggling with toddlers in prams and trying to control siblings. It's really sad, but of course 'they love doing it and beg to have them'

Your parents are unable or unwilling to provide childcare, so you need to take that option off of the table.

Realistically, you are left with two options.

Either you find paid for childcare
or
you and your DH reduce your working hours so that one of you can be at home with the children.

That's the bottom line.

It's not what you want to happen, but it is what has to happen.

Expecting to WfH whilst looking after a 2.5 year old, when the schools have gone back is colossally unrealistic, I'm afraid, and I cannot imagine any school will allow it. Quarantine is somewhat different, as its an emergency 2 week situation, but for ongoing childcare? No, absolutely not reasonable.

Like it or not, your finances and your childcare are you and your DH's problem alone, and you cannot shift this onto either your parents, or your employers.

To be fair, I think the hours that you’re expecting your parents to do are probably the main reason why they don’t want to do this plan, I know I wouldn’t and I’m in my 40s! You’re basically asking them to work almost full time as a childminder when they’re retired.

So rule them out. Surely an au pair is the best option as they live in and are a bit cheaper than a nanny. Advertise now and you’ll have one sorted soon enough.

I think you need to stop pressuring your parents to take on childcare again. They don’t want to. Can’t believe you are hoping the government will announce that they should, so you can pressure them further!

Can you work alongside another family with a child and try to have a nanny share?

I’ve looked after my DGC, 2 boys, since lockdown and 1 DGD since lockdown lifted. There was no other choice. Childminder closed and 1DD is a key worker so had to work.
Childminder opens next week but we will continue to look after DGC 1-2 days a week as we always have done.
I’ve felt quite comfortable and although I’m happy to see them return to school I am a little concerned about a possible increased risk but things have to return to some sort of normality.
I’m sorry your parents are worried about breaking the rules.

@damnthatanxiety actually I do think the OP needed a bit of a kick up the backside. No teacher should be thinking they'll just carry on working from home because they haven't sorted out their childcare.

I say that as a two teacher family who have never had any grandparent care.

reefedsail I read it as The OP being one of millions of parents who genuinely have no freaking idea how to do this. Grandparents have long been employed as childcare. Not some draconian arrangement, but one that worked for many, many people for generations. Now we find ourselves in this unprecedented situation and there is literally no obvious solution. Nurseries are full, there are no early morning provision spaces, proper childminders are fully employed. The fact is there are many, many thousands of children needing childcare now that grandparents are out of the equation and many childcare providers have reduced capacity. I am rarely one to say that the government should do something but in this situation, I am saying exactly that. Emergency childcare provision needs to be provided if the government really want people to be able to get back to work. This is not one or two people like the OP. It is thousands of families. I feel for people in this position and I don't think damning people and saying it is their fault for not being a soothsayer and arranging things back in March before everyone else snapped up all the spaces is reasonable. There is not enough provision. That is the problem.

It’s reasonable to say the government aren’t doing enough on childcare but not to say they’ve forgotten about grandparents.

Grandparents aren’t going to be told to bubble with their grandchildren unless it’s safe and the likelihood is that it isn’t safe for them to do that.

Massively increasing the number of nursery places is going to be incredible difficult in the near future. The only realistic short term solution is that employers have to continue to be flexible.

Or families need to reduce the paid working hours of parents. With all the knock on headaches that brings.

Single parents should have priority for childcare.

You need a conversation with your line manager at work to say you're struggling. See what they say before stressing too much.

Tbh even if the government announced tomorrow that grandparents can be with grandchildren without social distancing it sounds like your parents wouldn't be keen given your elderly dgm and that's fair, there always will be a risk.

My NHS workplace has said they're willing to discuss necessary changes in hours due to childcare, my dh is a teacher and his work expect people to discuss difficulties with them.

You need a conversation with your line manager at work to say you're strugglinG

They aren’t going to care... I used one parental emergency leave last year in my school and gave them 2 days notice... but because I was trying to help and give 2 days notice they said it wasn’t an emergency so I won’t be paid!!! The next time I had an emergency I knew In advance I had to wait and call on that morning!!

Wow the views on this thread are very different to my real life experience. Everyone I know who used grandparents is using them again, including us.

I wonder how many grandparents have enjoyed the freedom of no childcaring during lockdown and will be reluctant to resume?

OP, even though you have flounced, have you considered a childminder?

I wonder how many grandparents have enjoyed the freedom of no childcaring during lockdown and will be reluctant to resume?

I know 3 friends who’s parents/in laws have realised how much easier it is without having their GC all the time and have said they can’t do it again!

What will happen when you return to work? You’ll do what the majority of other parents do and pay for childcare.

If you can’t afford it, you should have thought of that before you had kids.

It’s nothing to do with “forgetting grandparents” and everything to do with keeping the elderly safe.

OverTheRainbow88 I'm really not surprised and reckon there will be many more.

I'm in my 70s, no GC as couldn't have children and I'm disabled so don't get out much but even if I weren't, I would not want to be tied down by regular childcare every week.