Do you ever do stuff with other families... that aren’t relatives?

[Dorobie]

Just that really?

I never do it, mostly because DH in his words ‘can’t stand other people’s kids’ 🤣...

So he thinks meeting up for walks or lunch or days out with other families is more stress than it’s worth as you often have to wait around or be there during a tantrum etc.

But I’m sociable, and so are my kids who are now 7 & 11. When they were tiny I’d meet other mums for coffee or soft play 🤢 but as they’ve got older I tend to either do stuff alone with the kids or with DH when he’s here.

Does anyone else think like this?

No, I have a big family we go on day trips as a group the DC are all cousins.
Not that I'd mind. I liked having my mum friend when DD was little I'd like to have a nice friendship again with out a blood attachments.

I meet up with other mums and their kids regularly. I think it's great we all have friends to be with for days out.

There is one family (two at a push) that DH likes enough to spend the day with, and also holiday with actually. We usually see them once a month as a big group.

I think it's a nice balance.

@StuntPond

No, I don’t like children, thankfully none of my friends have children and are unlikely to so I can easily dodge playdates.

@SimonJT, unless I am confusing you with a regular from the adoption boards, don't you have a child (to whom you always sound like a devoted father)?

OP, absolutely we do, including going on holiday with friends, but it's so the adults can see their friends, not for the benefit of the children particularly. Your husband sounds as if he's making excuses. And is rather rigid in his thinking, not to say arrogant. I mean, if he never spends time around other families, how has he got such a fund of negative opinions about other people's parenting?

Liking your own child doesn’t mean you like or enjoying spending time with other peoples children. Which has also been pointed out by several other posters. The idea of spending a day with a group of five year olds is akin to torture.

The idea of spending a day with a group of five year olds is akin to torture

Three year olds are worse! But I suck it up because DS enjoys it...

Also, if most of your friends are childless, please tell me that you get a babysitter and don't inflict your own DC on your poor childless friends ! As we've established from this thread, most of us can't stand other people's children. They're poorly behaved, poorly parented and just downright annoying, unlike our own superior little treasures. That being so, the only thing that makes these arrangements work is reciprocity... They have to tolerate your brats, you have to tolerate theirs. So please tell me you at least offer to leave the sprog at home when you meet happy, unsuspecting sprogless folk ! Otherwise, it's a tad one-sided...

@Minimumstandard

The idea of spending a day with a group of five year olds is akin to torture

Three year olds are worse! But I suck it up because DS enjoys it...

Also, if most of your friends are childless, please tell me that you get a babysitter and don't inflict your own DC on your poor childless friends ! As we've established from this thread, most of us can't stand other people's children. They're poorly behaved, poorly parented and just downright annoying, unlike our own superior little treasures. That being so, the only thing that makes these arrangements work is reciprocity... They have to tolerate your brats, you have to tolerate theirs. So please tell me you at least offer to leave the sprog at home when you meet happy, unsuspecting sprogless folk ! Otherwise, it's a tad one-sided...

Ah socialising, tis but a distant memory!

I tried a babysitter once, it was a disaster so I returned to my hermit like status unless Grandma or his Aunt are in town. Adhoc babysitting etc just doesn’t work for a lot of adopted children.

We (myself, DH and son) meet up with my BF, her DH and their son at least twice a week!

Does your DH know how much you would like him to do this once in a while? It seems a little selfish to never spend a few hours this way for you and the DC - especially after we’ve all had so much ‘family time’ recently.

Maybe if you chose someone with a DH you know he gets on with and kept it short and simple, he might realise that he actually quite enjoys it?

There are two or three families we do this with but no more. It’s hard to find a family where it works - the DC need a child their own age each ideally (who they get on with) and we need to like both the adults! And vice versa 😁

More common is me & kids plus another mum & kids, doing a weekday outing or meet up together in the holidays.

I think luck plays a big part in how many “compatible” families you know.

@SimonJT. . I'm sorry to hear that! I hope you get to shake off the (blessed) fetters of parenthood occasionally...!

DS isn't very fond of ad hoc babysitters either so I entirely sympathise with your son. They tend to come on all happy and cheerful and want to do activities which freaks him out, despite me telling them to play it cool and watch TV and ignore him. So it's drag him along with me or stay at home unless his dad's around or I can fob him off onto GPs.

[quote Minimumstandard]@SimonJT. . I'm sorry to hear that! I hope you get to shake off the (blessed) fetters of parenthood occasionally...!

DS isn't very fond of ad hoc babysitters either so I entirely sympathise with your son. They tend to come on all happy and cheerful and want to do activities which freaks him out, despite me telling them to play it cool and watch TV and ignore him. So it's drag him along with me or stay at home unless his dad's around or I can fob him off onto GPs.[/quote]
I’ll get suitable revenge when hes an adult, I can’t wait to just leave food mashed into various soft furnishings.

All the time! And holidays too! Kids love having same age friend to play with.

Your DH needs to expand his horizons a bit.