Were your friends parents ever mean to you?

[funnyonion1]

I was born in the late 80s / childhood in the 90s just for context as I hope these days this doesn't happen.

When I was about 8 years old I went for a sleepover at a good friends house (had been on multiple sleepovers before but this one stands out the most). In the morning we had Rice Krispies with milk for breakfast. I said I didn't eat my cereal with milk but she forced me to eat it. I remember crying and gagging over the cereal bowl and she wouldn't let me leave without eating it. I managed a couple of spoonfuls before she gave up.

Then when my mum came to pick me up and I told her what happened, she didn't take my side or defend me (which is for a whole other thread!).

As a mum of two, I can't imagine doing anything like this to my own DC let alone other children!

I remember a friends mum who made us eat brown bread when we didn't like it. Had to sit at the table until it was gone, I haven't thought of her as being mean to us though.
Our mum agreed with her and said that we should be polite and eat what we're given at someone's house, I also don't look badly at my mum for this.

Your post jogged my memory of it but it isnt something I think about. Same as you I was born late 89 and childhood was in the 90s.

Yes. Similar situation, but in the late 70s and with my Auntie. She knew I hated fish, All fish. She made me fish and forced me to eat it. I was sick in my mouth. I was made to sit at that table long after my cousins had got down. I have never forgotten about it and my own kids are sick of the story. I still hate all seafood. I have never been able to forgive her for it. My Mother just shrugged when I told her.

My friends parents took us to the pub with them, bought us each a drink and some crisps. I ate half of them and came back for the rest, but the mum had eaten them. I was gutted.

I’m not much older than you. If my parents were told I hadn’t been eaten what I was given in someone else’s house I would have been told off harshly for being so rude. You eat what you’re given.

People are a lot more lenient these days, which is a good thing, but I wouldn’t classify that mum as mean.

I have always been afraid of horses. Best friend at primary school had a horse. When I went to play after school one day, friends mum made me ride the horse (well it was a pony I expect). She initially told me I could just sit on it but then once I was sitting on it she made it go round the huge field with me. When I cried she called me a baby & said BF had been riding ponies since before she could walk.

Same mum would only also allow milk as a drink, not even water, which was an issue as I am allergic to dairy. She believed allergies were just faddy awkwardness.

Incidentally, my friend has had no contact with her parents or elder brother for several years due to their behaviour.

Not their behaviour towards me 30+ years ago I must add! Other far more serious things unfortunately.

Yes I remember several incidences when I was treated unkindly by parents of my friends. I used to go to play with a friend after school and her mother would give her children lots of snacks but never offered me anything, I would have to sit there starving watching them eat. They were well off so it wasn’t a budget issue. Another friend’s dad was horrible to me and wouldn’t let me in the house because they were super devout Christians and I wasn’t from a religious family.

My friends Dad called me the ‘biscuit barrel’ which did not feel very kind.

This is only 4/5 years ago now but my boyfriend at the time came from a super religious family. His parents hated I wasn't religious and would regularly exclude me from anything they did as a family.
They used to cook Shepard's pie with broccoli all the time. The first couple of times I'd pick around it but my boyfriend then spoke to his mum and said how much I hated Shepard's pie she continued to cook it every time I went round. To the point I refused to go there for food anymore.
They were awful to me and looking back now I should've up and left a long time ago

Yeah. My first sleepover aged 5 or 6 at my best friend’s home. Her Mum didn’t make any attempt to settle me, being away from home for the first time and when I called my Mum to say goodnight she was very critical of the fact that I didn’t tell my Mum what a wonderful time I was having and said that it was rude to say I was “ok”. I’d never eaten bacon before and always struggled to eat breakfast anyway, usually having half a slice of toast. Anyway she served burnt (black) bacon swimming in grease for breakfast and when I tried to scrape the black bits off she got really angry at me and told me I was rude.

Her daughter spent almost every weekend at my house for 10 years, sleeping over for one or two nights a week and my parents never asked for a penny to pay for days out, always bought her a little gift or gave pocket money when I was getting mine etc. Both parents had good jobs and she was an only child, they were financially fine with good holidays and little luxuries so no money worries. One of the only times her Mum returned the favour and took me out for the day, my parents sent money to cover my expenses. She used it to pay for a cheap meal (which was fine obviously) but then took my friend to buy icecream for herself and my friend and said “NameChange84, your parent’s money has run out so you can’t have an ice cream”. So I had to sit there twiddling my thumbs while they both tucked in. Maybe I’m weird but I could never do that to a little child. It seems so mean and hurtful.

I had another friend’s mum who made me eat the most disgusting meal (non vegetarian mean when I was 12 and vegetarian and her daughter was a vegetarian and eating a vegetarian meal anyway!). She also used to slag off my parents to my face.

I remember once playing in my friends garden ( just me and friend) and her Dad coming out and telling me to piss off.
I was about 10.

We used to be looked after before and after school by friend's parents, who lived a few doors up. My parents paid them, a kind of informal childcare arrangement.

My sister and I have very vivid memories of the times that they'd eg buy their own three children an ice lolly or a packet of stickers and leave us out. They weren't hard up - we are talking a couple of quid. They were just not very nice people.

Some of these

I'd never dream of treating a small child this way and I certainly wouldn't shrug off my DCs concerns or take the other mums side when an issue was raised.

Mixed experience here.

I had lots of friends who were the children of my parent’s own friends. The adults were really nice to me.
Same with adults who were friends or acquaintances of my parents (no children).

I remember school friend’s parents being cold and quite unfriendly in comparison.
I wouldn’t say mean. I just got a different vibe from them and was wary of them.

My first boyfriend’s parents were and still are two of the nicest, kindest people I know.

Adult Aunts/Uncles not very nice, Grandparents lovely.

Id love to know if any of you still have friendships with any of these friends? And, if so, do you ever speak about the past?

No, not still friends. I’d agree that parent’s friends and school friend’s parents had different very approaches.

Not in the least on a par with some of these, but I've always remembered the time I was at a friend's house for her birthday - sixteenth, I think, remembering the boys who were there - and her dad was mildly disparaging about my clothing choices.

It doesn't sound much, but it was a Huge Thing for me at the time as I had a wardrobe consisting entirely of hand-me-downs (and this was a few years after the seventies) and very little money, and people being mean about my clothes was one of the things that made life worse than it might have been.

I'm still in contact with that friend on Facebook and every time she posts memories of her fairly-recently-deceased dad and other people I like join in with how lovely he was, I feel bad all over again. And then guilty about being so petty.

Not still friends no. In both my examples the kids weren’t especially nice either, unsurprisingly!

My uncle on my dads side, we were visiting my DGM and he and his DW and DC were there, we didn't see them very often.
All of us DC were playing in the garden when uncle appeared and he started saying things to me and my Dsis like "you're horrible kids, why are you so horrible, you've got no manners, you're dirty kids, my kids are so much better than you lot, my kids are better behaved than you lot, you're parents should be ashamed of having kids like you" stuff along those lines, there was more of it but you get the gist.
All the time he was saying it he was hissing it, kind of whispering, even at that age I knew he was keeping his voice down so my DF & DM didnt hear him.
I was about 8 yrs old, older Dsis 10 and two younger Dsis 6 & 4.
We were horrified and frightened, younger ones were crying.
We never said a word to my DParents as my DF would have hit the roof and probably hit him, it was like an unspoken agreement that we didnt tell.
I'm in my 50s now and still remember it and how it made me feel

Similar thing, but I wouldn’t class it as “mean” in the context of the time.
In about 1978 at a friend’s house the mum had cooked bolognese or chillie for dinner, I’m sure it will have been really mild and bland, but to her sons and me it was “horrible” we all struggled to eat it and got shouted at, I forced most of it down as I was a very compliant child.
We all got shouted at by other people’s parents when round at their houses if we were caught misbehaving badly or repeatedly, I don’t remember any of them as mean though, they were nice unless we were dicks.
When I stayed overnight at my best friend’s we’d talk and giggle all night, her mum would come in at intervals getting progressively more cross in her nightie and curlers, culminating in shrieking “Will you bloody shut-up!” She was never mean though. She’s a lovely mum to this day.

I was about 13 and staying with a friend. I'm left handed and can only use a spoon in my left hand. My friend's dm went on at length about how I should be made to use my right hand and how disgusting I was using my left hand. The strange thing was in every other respect she was a really nice person.

• If I’d have moaned to my mum, I’d have got a second bollocking for misbehaving and annoying Auntie Sandra/ Mrs Nettleton/ whoever, when a guest in their house.

Just like when we complained about teachers “being mean”. To be fair, the “mean” we moaned about was just very strict and not smiley, not actually mean.

I remember my friend’s mum making a horrible dig at me on exam results day when I did better than her daughter.

My parents would never have stuck up for us. It was always, don’t tell tales, do as you’re told and fight your own battles!

Some of these stories

I don't recall any of my friends parents being mean, maybe odd at times - one dad would always go into great details about the family dog's ailments and I'll never forget the day he matter of factly told me where the baby hamsters had gone the parents ate them vom My BF parents were genuinely lovely warm people and treat me like one of their own despite having their hands full with 4 DC.