I'm going to get sacked aren't I?

[ashamedanddepressed]

I've name changed because I'm just so ashamed of myself.

I've always enjoyed my job and I think I was pretty good at at. I went on mat leave last October. I started my return to work in July using KIT days and I'm now back full time. Things are getting on top of me though.

I had pretty bad PND after the birth of DS but I thought medication meant I had a handle on it. I don't. I'm missing things and mucking things up. It all came to a head this morning however when my internet connection was cut off. To put it lightly furlough has fucked is financially. I have payment holidays for what I can but bills are being missed. I can't even find a number to speak to a person about it just a bloody automated message.

I had to decant to my mums, I forgot a cable and had to go back for it and as a result was late to sign on. I've also missed a deadline to provide ID for background checks to be repeated (they're done every year). I really feel like I'm going to be out. I'm messing everything up.

I'm waiting on an appointment from the mental health team but they have been very little help and my GP thinks my dose is fine for my antidepressants but I've always been on the ball at work. Returning while working from home has been a challenge but not enough to cover up for my ineptitude.

Depression comes under the umbrella of a disability and as such you should have support via reasonable adjustments made.

If everyone who had a bad day or everyone who made a mistake was sacked no one would be employed!

Explain to your manager what has gone on and I am sure they will understand. You have had a big life change amidst this pandemic and it has affected many people very badly so don't be too hard on yourself. We are often much harder on ourselves than others are, cut yourslef some slack, and try to see it as a blip.

Good luck OP.

@Soontobe60

Depression comes under the umbrella of a disability and as such you should have support via reasonable adjustments made.

It can do, but not automatically.

Oh bless you, and I'm so glad it went well with your boss. It might help your anxiety about missing things if (like a pp said) you keep a pad next to you and with you at all times and write everything down, both for work and for home, just as and when it occurs to you. Everything. Then review at the end of each day, and first thing in the morning, because you're adding home stuff as well. Then you can rest easier in your mind because you can say to yourself, it doesn't matter if I forget it because I know I've written it down.....

Great to hear you've an understanding boss. So relieved for you. I'm sure you'll manage to get all sorted asap but don't stress about it. As you've realised the main thing is to keep talking to work and getting them involved in how it's going. It's silence they can't help or support.

Well done OP. You got this !!

I'm so pleased OP. Well done!

I'm so glad your morning ended up better than it started. It's great that your boss was kind and understanding ( as they should be!!) and I am sure you will navigate your path through this.
I agree with the other poster who said if you are struggling to pay wifi bill and need it for work, shouldn't company be making a contribution to that?
Also.. I hope you remind yourself the next time you stumble that you had a problem. You thought about how to fix it, you spoke to your boss and every thing was OK .
Having a new baby is one of life's biggest challenges to get used to. You may not feel like it sometimes but you are doing a good job!!!

You have been there over two years so they cant just sack you and have to go through a process of warnings and support before you even get there..

Just ensure you speak to your manager and explain the situation and keep the communication open and honest. I'm sure they will offer some kind of support.

That's great news, love.
Now look after yourself.

@katy1213

If you need your wifi for work, your company should be paying for it.

No company in their right mind will pay people's internet bills when most of the time it's used for non work purposes

That's why you can claim money back from HMRC per month when you work from home

Get a doctor's note and bring it in- they can't ignore that. If it costs a bit I'm sure family will help you out.

Don't blame yourself that you missed an email or bill or whatever- you're not yourself at the moment, you're ill, these things happen when we're ill.

They might give you a phased return to work. Or reduce your work load for a while, which would be without a change of pay as it's due to ill health.

Your GP might suggest a couple of weeks off work or something- tell the doctor everything that's happening.

I'd recommend seeing a different doctor at the practice or changing practice, as your current one doesn't sound particularly helpful.

Ooh just seen your update- well done. xxx

If you need your wifi for work, your company should be paying for it. No! You claim back some money from HMRC at the end of the tax year. There are a couple of way sof doing it:

www.gov.uk/simpler-income-tax-simplified-expenses/working-from-home

Stop being so hard on yourself OP , you were only late it’s not the end of the world .

Honestly op, having read your post they would be mad to get rid if you, and they'll know it.

You obviously take work seriously, you want to do a good job and you didn't let a bit of a fuck up get in the way of you working - okay, you were a bit late, but you made it work.

If they sack you (they won't) they don't deserve you.

Tell them you have mental health problems, they won’t sack you for mental health problems, it's too dodgy for them they won’t risk you making a claim.

Oh OP, you're one of many people who are struggling at the moment. If you can, try and let your employer know about whats happening with your finances and PND. They may be understanding. Please go back to your dr or phone your local IAPT for some help. Take things one step at a time. It wont always be like this.

Hi OP
These mistakes are quite small and in isolation would not be grounds to sack you. Plus the company would need to give you a written warning first anyway as you’ve got over two years service as this is not gross misconduct. Everyone has a bad day. When your manager phones you just apologise be open and honest and say you’ll make up the time. Don’t make it out to be a terrible mistake on the phone to him/ her though as these things happen to everyone and you’ll draw more attention to it if you become too upset about it. Everyone finds returning to work after mat leave hard. Be kind to yourself and don’t highlight your weaknesses.

OP,

If it's consolation I work tech support for a massive company who are all working from home. Approximately a third of staff have frequent IT issues. If the company sacked everyone who lost network connection at some point they'd have no staff left. Even ppl on our end have struggled with the transition. You won't be the only person having IT issues. Your depression is making you overthink this.

Thank you everyone, you're making me feel much better.
The GP have said someone will call me back this afternoon to discuss things so I'm hoping I can make my points clearly and be listened to.

I have the details for the employee assistance line counselling so I'm going to give them a go, it can't hurt.

I called the mental health nurse I've been dealing with but she's on annual leave so that will need to wait until next week.

I was always good at my job and on top of things so it's a bit of a shock almost not to be.

I’d try and keep a sense of proportion - at nowhere I’ve worked would someone be sacked for having their internet fail, forgetting a cable and being a day or two late to provide ID for an annual check. That just all sounds like shit happens/being human. You probably feel your grip on things is so delicate that any small mistake fills you with fear and so it seems much bigger than it would do to anyone else.

Great to hear you are getting some support and we are all having rubbish days at the moment

I had to leave a customer site last week to take my 13 year old to A&E its just the way it is at the moment