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Original poster

My husband has lost something.

97 replies

Goslowlysideways · 16/08/2020 20:54

He is tearing up the house. He knew where it was and now it’s not there. ‘Someone’ has moved it! ‘Someone’ has tidied it away!
It was definitely in the place and now it’s gone!
No one can rest until it is found.
It’s definitely not his fault it’s just that ‘SOMEONE’ has moved it.

He has obviously taken it to work and will find it in the morning but not before all the shouting and swearing.

OP posts:
Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 16/08/2020 20:58

Oh I can't fucking abide that shit. I feel your pain. It's always someone else has moved it isn't it. Never them WinkHmm

Original poster
Goslowlysideways · 16/08/2020 21:01

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel Exactly. Despite the fact that since time began it’s always under every circumstance ALWAYS been him. But no someone is plotting against him.

OP posts:
Peachypips78 · 16/08/2020 21:06

I'm the person who always knows that 'someone' has moved my thing.

They have. Grin

FecktheBoss · 16/08/2020 21:08

It's his marbles isn't it? He has lost his marbles.

LadyFlumpalot · 16/08/2020 21:10

Oh, is he man-looking? Both my DH and DS man-look.

Say DH can't find his work pass. He'll unzip his laptop bag and peer in from a distance and declare it's not there. Once you explain he actually needs to look in the bag properly he'll find it tucked under his folder.

DS will declare he can't find his favourite hoody. Turns out he's opened his wardrobe doors and glanced at the interior. It's actually in there, just hidden in the shitheap pile of clothes.

Original poster
Goslowlysideways · 16/08/2020 21:15

He can’t find it because it’s in a completely different part of London....IN HIS OFFICE....!
I’m not sure if he’s actually looking because it’s not here.
You see it was DEFINITELY on the table and SOMEONE has moved it.

OP posts:
IWouldLikeToKnow · 16/08/2020 21:15

@LadyFlumpalot My husband recently rang me at work looking for my son's swimsuit. I said have you looked in his bag - we were just back from holidays and it hadn't been unpacked. Said he looked and it wasn't there. Rang me back 5 minutes later to say it was - it was inside out so he didn't see it.

Original poster
Goslowlysideways · 16/08/2020 21:21

@IWouldLikeToKnow How can he see it if it’s the wrong way round!

OP posts:
thatplaceinjordan · 16/08/2020 21:28

Ah the man-look. Unfortunately the dd's seem to have developed the same blindness, they basically want you to look for them

RB68 · 16/08/2020 21:31

ahh I have taken to saying - would you like me to look with eyes that see?

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 16/08/2020 21:35

Do be fair to your DH that SOMEONE also comes to our house sometimes and moves things about.

You can put something down in the kitchen and next thing you know it's on the coffee table!

Then perhaps, something on the dining table may move, unseen by anyone, to re-appear on the toilet cistern. Weird!

Titterofwit · 16/08/2020 21:38

Hah!
I started charging for me to look for things. If I find the item the careless looker must pay a fine of my making. It might be a washing up out of rota or early morning tea making but I always charge.
Strangely they mostly find their own stuff now.

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 16/08/2020 21:39

My DH's superpower is remembering the second last place he put something.

Except he thinks it's the last place.

I've stopped doing the looking for him, and I've learnt to zone out as a coping mechanism for the sake of my blood pressure. I feel your pain.

BefuddledAsAFish · 16/08/2020 21:40

I have stopped putting away DH's sports clothes for exactly this reason. I've moved his gloves. Or his belt. Or his light. Or his hat. Which if I look for them are usually on one of his shelves.
I now always insist on an apology when he finally finds it.

Feralkidsatthecampsite · 16/08/2020 21:41

I almost reported my bank card lost yesterday as dh had looked in the usual place.. Turned the house and cars upside down. Started worrying...
Glanced in the usual place and there it was.

TeetotalKoala · 16/08/2020 21:45

@Titterofwit

Hah! I started charging for me to look for things. If I find the item the careless looker must pay a fine of my making. It might be a washing up out of rota or early morning tea making but I always charge. Strangely they mostly find their own stuff now.
This is genius. I am outnumbered by males in my house. They all look for things the same way. They walk into a room, stare at a spot that is exactly eye level for a few seconds, and then leave the room declaring that it isn't there.
Kernowgal · 16/08/2020 21:51

I wish my dad even man-looked. He asks me where something is or if we have X or Y without actually bothering to look for it himself, like I'm some sort of omniscient deity. A friend, whose children do this, has taken to answering their "muuuuuuum, where's my ?" with "up Jack's arse and round the corner". My favourite response to my dear dad is "try looking with your eyes, not with your voice".

Namechange2020onceagain · 16/08/2020 21:51

What really annoys me is when they ask where something is, you tell them exactly, third shelf on the right etc. You hear rummaging and swearing, then they shout it's not there. I start to get up to point to it then he shouts found it. I then ask, where was it then? It was exactly where I said it was, he didn't find it, I did!

and breathe

CorianderLord · 16/08/2020 22:00

I did this the other week (not blaming anyone though). It was in the bloody place I originally thought and I missed it. Me and DP had ravaged the house, I'd cried (sentimental item). Bloody hell

Goldensunnydays81 · 16/08/2020 22:00

I also have it when Dh asks where something is and I trying pointing except he seems to look everywhere around the room except where my finger is pointing and I have to tell him to stop and look at where my finger is pointing 😂

Original poster
Goslowlysideways · 16/08/2020 22:04

He has given up looking. I suspect it may have dawned on him that he took it to work last week.
He won’t tell me that.

I never move things like this... it’s all his receipts for a tax return.

I am 100% sure it’s at the office. But he fixates on a place he thinks something is and when it isn’t goes to pieces.

He seems to have stopped swearing.

OP posts:
Chemenger · 16/08/2020 22:13

“Did you look with your eyes?” and “at the end of my finger” should be carved on my gravestone. Just good to know that other people’s DHs can neither look for things or understand pointing, I’ve had cats that understand pointing better than mine. Today has been classic. We’re on holiday but for a long and complicated reason DH had to go home last night for one night. He “lost” his wallet at some point last week, here on holiday. As he left yesterday he asked me to try and find it, since his concerted efforts at glancing round rooms from the doorway had produced nothing and no, it was definitely not in the pocket of the shorts he’d been wearing. I had a good look but couldn’t find it. He rolled back today, I said I’d torn the place apart (ie looked under cushions rather than at them). He then announced he’d found it. No prizes for guessing where, didn’t think to let me know.

Bramleyapples13 · 16/08/2020 22:15

Ah, the well known man look. If the item doesn't jump out at them going 'coooooo-eeeeeeee!' and waving at them, they will never find it. I just love the silent women thing where we find it where we told them it was and just hand it to them. Brilliant.

TalkingOutOfMyBottom · 16/08/2020 22:18

Don't forget men can't see in 3D. It's probably behind something. 🙄

BarkingHat · 16/08/2020 22:21

Yes the man look, the man blame. Fuck me I always end up getting dragged into looking.