My husband has lost something.

[Goslowlysideways]

He is tearing up the house. He knew where it was and now it’s not there. ‘Someone’ has moved it! ‘Someone’ has tidied it away!
It was definitely in the place and now it’s gone!
No one can rest until it is found.
It’s definitely not his fault it’s just that ‘SOMEONE’ has moved it.

He has obviously taken it to work and will find it in the morning but not before all the shouting and swearing.

DS does what I all the Lighthouse Look. He stands in the middle of a room, does a 360 with his eyes looking straight ahead and if it isnt in that miniscule tunnel of vision, it isnt in that room.

I stopped pointing shit out, because thats the only way he actually looks properly.

Yes, my OH is guilty of this too! He also regularly moves my stuff and then when I ask him where he's put it (because it's now suddenly not where I know I left it), he can't remember!!

The things the men in this house are looking for have a life force all of their own, and a cunning one at that. When I ask where they were eventually found ( ie where I said ) they were apparently "hiding"

Oh I am wetting myself reading these.

I’ve had cats that understand pointing better than mine 😂😂😂

Years ago when I was in hospital having DS1, DH lost our house keys. Unbeknownst to me, he just left the house unlocked as he travelled to see us in hospital or to go to work. This was back in the day when you were in hospital for about a week when you had your first baby.

When we came home with DS, DH just walked in the front door without unlocking it and I thought someone was waiting for us. He had to confess that he had lost the keys. I sat down at the kitchen table and the keys were in the empty fruit bowl.

Even more annoying is when he decides he needs to have a "proper" look. So starts looking in the fridge,rummaging in the bins, sock drawers, pulling furniture, tearing the house upside down ,sometimes even the garden while moaning "we have too much crap". To then find item(normally car keys) in the first place he didn't look properly.

Nah mate, if your head wasn't in the clouds(which is why keys in the fridge or in the seasoning cupboard seem like a good option) and if you bloody looked properly to begin with none of this would've happened.

Or we get this

OH: have you seen x?
Me: nope. Where did you put/see it last?
OH: well if I knew that I wouldn't be looking would I?
Me: have you actually looked or man looked?
OH: it's not anywhere!

Alternate with
Me: have you looked x place?
Oh: yeah it isn't there.

End with...

Me: if i get up and find it, I'm kicking your butt!
OH: oh there it is.

Ahh the man scan.

Last month he lost a receipt. Not even anything important, just something he needed to file. I had, apparently, binned it. This was the only explanation. I emptied the bloody bin on the table and unsurprisingly, as I'd not seen the sodding thing, it wasn't there.

A parcel arrived last week with a similar receipt that I knew he'd need to file. When I told him to put it somewhere safe now so he didn't lose it i got 'the look' 😂

We have a saying. It's not lost til mummy can't find it!!

My dh loses his phone daily. Has a panic that he's lost it out somewhere. Every single day 'have you seen my phone? Oh my god I've lost my phone'. I don't even look up anymore.

Every time DD tells mee she can’t find something I —threaten— suggest it better not be visible to me the moment I enter the room/ bathroom/ living room She then goes back and miraculously finds it

I’ll just leave this here....

Or when they shout where is such a such? It's on the kitchen table, bathroom shelf etc. No it isn't! Followed by me shouting yes it is to the left, followed by DH shouting no it isn't. I get up and lo and behold it is exactly where I said it was. Ffs if I had a penny for everytime I would be a millionaire by now 🙄

And why is it when they're looking through all the crap in the house and moaning about the amount of it, it's all their crap to start off with!

You never know when we'll need a screwdriver, battery, millions of chargers or spare loo seat!!

If you binned your crap, you'd be able to find stuff better!

I love this, sounds exact like my dh.

"I am not the keeper of all things" on repeat to all other inhabitants of my house.

I have one of those. It will be cheese. 'Where is the cheese?' (Said peering into the fridge). Nope, definitely not there, apparently. Someone has eaten it. But the accused Someone is also part of the fridge-peering party and can see the cheese relaxing between the ham and the disgusting pineapple juice. I think Someone Else must have given if an invisibility cloak...

DH does exactly this, it’s always my fault that he can’t find something.

DH and DS are both definitely man-lookers. Last week both of them couldn’t find a specific piece of clothing. I opened their wardrobes and there they were, right in front of their eyes 🙄.

It’s like a chuffing pantomime in our house. He can’t find it, I shout it’s behind/in front/left /right of you! Oh no it isn’t comes the reply. It is! It’s where I say it is, every bloody time Have you actually looked? He’s even phoned me before now and I’ve guided him in, no I’m not super human, I just know where you leave your shit!

Did he find them?

This is my husband. It does my head in. If he can't find something I can hear him passively aggressively huffing and puffing and sighing dramatically whilst "looking for" said item.

He blames me for tidying up! He calls it "hideying up" cos he says I hide stuff. No, it's called putting shit away where it belongs. Silly twat.

@Goldensunnydays81

I also have it when Dh asks where something is and I trying pointing except he seems to look everywhere around the room except where my finger is pointing and I have to tell him to stop and look at where my finger is pointing 😂

Haha yes same!

Dh does this
its usually some obscure wire for something technical. I never touch anything technical. He stomps around ranting about how nobody can find anything in this bloody house and we should clear out all the drawers and why are the kids still in bed and not tidying something up.
Then he finds said wire on his desk or somewhere else obvious and someone must have moved it

‘Man-looking’, ha, my dh is a classic. He just stares into the drawer/cupboard/fridge, expecting whatever it is to pop up with a cheery, ‘Here I am!’
I’ve given up saying that it might actually be helpful to move things, look underneath/behind things, etc.

Yesterday he insisted that there was no halloumi in the admittedly very full fridge.
It was actually very near the front, just behind a tub of butter. (I didn’t mind looking since I fancied some myself - we had half each.).

Ah yes man looking, my DH could win the award for this

Even worse is when he doesn't actually look. He'll think of something and walk across the house to ask me about said item. So for instance, he'll start in the room that the item is usually, he'll come into the room I'm in to ask if I've seen it, then go back into the first room to look for it. And there it will be..

Another annoyance of his lack of eyes is asking questions about something he wants to know, without just looking himself. So, as an example he'll want to know the date on something in the fridge. Rather than walking to the fridge and looking, he'll come and find me to ask me. absolutely useless.

And this man lived alone for 7 years before we met!! How did he survive without a woman to hold his hand..

I do love him really, he just drives me nuts..