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Original poster

My husband has lost something.

97 replies

Goslowlysideways · 16/08/2020 20:54

He is tearing up the house. He knew where it was and now it’s not there. ‘Someone’ has moved it! ‘Someone’ has tidied it away!
It was definitely in the place and now it’s gone!
No one can rest until it is found.
It’s definitely not his fault it’s just that ‘SOMEONE’ has moved it.

He has obviously taken it to work and will find it in the morning but not before all the shouting and swearing.

OP posts:
NewAndImprovedNorks · 20/08/2020 21:31

My mantra is always “tidying is finding”. Not many people ask me to help them find stuff any more

purrswhileheeats · 20/08/2020 21:45

This works well for women though, we can cunningly hide tasty treats in the fridge and the menz will never find them.

AnneElliott · 20/08/2020 21:50

Agree this is a male thing. DH is like this. If it doesn't jump out and introduce itself it's not there.

DH used to accuse his mother of losing or moving his cheque book. She used to shout up the stairs "if I come up there and find it in the drawer there'll be trouble".

I used to look for it to prevent this happening.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 20/08/2020 22:11

I refuse point blank to help with any looking. DH has somehow recovered the use of his eyes.
The crucial day was when he was looking for something in our bedroom. He was stressed and pulling random things out and making a mess. Downstairs, ds1 started to grizzle.
DH said I needed to see to the toddler and I said I couldn't as I was too busy supervising the big toddler upstairs, gesticulating to all the mess.
After that any cries of "Have you seen my..." have been met with "Where you left it." or "Up my bum." depending on my mood. He stopped asking!
Now my health is poor and I find it an effort to get out of my chair any questions about the location of objects that do not belong to me are answered with "Don't you make me get up."
To be fair to DH, he has realised he only has himself to blame if he puts something in a silly place. Ds1 and ds2 are learning too.

Davros · 20/08/2020 23:10

My DH is like this. His classic, which is now a family joke, is that someone's been in and stolen it. Oh my aching ribs

Bramleyapples13 · 21/08/2020 04:35

I came home today to find the OH has bought a weight lift bench thing and weights. I asked where he's intending on keeping them as the 3bed house we live in isn't massive, so he has a massive shed to put his crap in which is already full. He already moans that his shed is full so he can't find anything in it and will have a full on strop every time he needs something in it.

The weight bench and weights are apparently living in the shed.

Great. Yet more man crap that he'll get ratty at because he can't get round it to find other man crap that is hidden in all the other man crap.

AyeCorona1 · 21/08/2020 08:03

@Therollockingrogue grim. My ex used to actually hide my house keys - I caught him out eventually (after years of him gaslighting, emotional abuse and him blaming the kids/toddlers) as after asking one of the kids 'I wonder where mummy's keys are today?' they told me daddy had put them in the fork drawer. Bastard.

QuimReaper · 21/08/2020 15:59

This is the BANE of my life. Like many posters I've started to just briskly say 'no idea' when asked 'where's my...?'

The most annoying thing is that he got to a stage of asking me completely routinely. Like a few weeks ago I was sitting at the dining room table and he walked past me. As he passed, he chirruped 'where's my raincoat?' - now, we have a cloakroom with hooks that are almost exclusively given over to his coats, and he was ACTUALLY EN ROUTE to the cloakroom, I.e. the ONLY sensible place it could be, as he said this, he was literally two yards away from the coat rack. Of course the 'oh, found it' came within three seconds, immediately upon him actually looking for it in the place it lives. Why the fuck did he ask me?! I'm trying to see it as him thinking aloud now, in order to help me just ignore it. It isn't though, he genuinely wants an audience and an answer. I think it must be attention seeking or something.

QuimReaper · 21/08/2020 16:02

@Therollockingrogue I think a lot of posters are more aggrieved by it than they'll admit. The genuinely accusatory tone happens in this house too, and when it wasn't me who Deliberately Moved It it was the cleaner. He blames her for everything, it gets right on my tits. Nothing like what you went through though, that sounds awful.

FinnyStory · 21/08/2020 16:07

We had this a few years back with DH's work phone. I was saying it's exactly where you left it, DH was saying pesky kids have hidden it.

It turned out we'd actually been burgled while we slept. They'd discarded the sim, from the phone, which DS2 found later or we'd never have known. They'd also taken some cash from my purse, but I might have thought I'd forgotten where I spent it. The only other evidence was a small (tiny) dent in the front door frame where they'd jemmied it open.

EL8888 · 21/08/2020 16:10

Aah the man look, closely related to the man clean.

When my fiancé says he’s lost something then part of me is tempted to scream “everyone stop what you are doing” and “ready the sniffer dogs”. Back in the real world it’s usually underneath something or he’s left it somewhere stupid or in his car (which is basically a skip with wheels).

QuimReaper · 21/08/2020 16:10

GAH I've just remembered another one. The thing my husband is always having stresses about is his passport. After about half a dozen of these, I suggested - helpfully I thought - that he could keep it with mine. I have one of those miniature desk top chests of two drawers, and I keep sewing stuff in the top drawer and travel stuff (like my passport and leftover currency) in the bottom one.

Another passport tantrum ensued some time later which I refused to get involved in, telling him if it wasn't in the drawer we'd both agreed it should be in, then he was on his own. Eventually it did turn up... in the drawer. It turned out that for some completely unaccountable fuckwitted reason he'd only looked in the top drawer. Then he tried to blame me, saying it had always always been the top drawer. These are MY DRAWERS and I've had the same system for 15 odd years, which he'd been a part of for about two months. It wasn't until I (very shoutily) itemised every single thing in both drawers to demonstrate that I had a very clear system and that he is an idiot that he went quiet.

More recently he got home from a skiing trip and threw his passport on the coffee table. I silently observed this. I regularly tidied the coffee table without mentioning it. It sat there on the table for forty two days before he needed it and another tantrum ensued.

Annasgirl · 21/08/2020 16:20

@SoupDragon

We call it Man Searching. Sung to the tune of Jive Talkin' by the Bee Gees.
Oh I will use this forever more
SciFiScream · 21/08/2020 16:36

My DH moves things. I'll have left something in a specific place because I need it (unless it's put away properly out of sight is very much out of kind for me!)

I had left a cheque for work on the dining table. To remind me to take it to work the next day and bank it. (Large donation)

He tidied it away into a file and didn't tell me. I left for work without it and didn't remember until I got to work. Could have been in trouble with that one.

I have a safe and hidden place I put my car keys. I always put them there so I know where they are. One day I couldn't find them. I searched and searched. In desperation I called DH to ask him if he'd seen them (I was going to be late). "Oh yes" said he. "I hid them, I didn't think they were safe were you left them" (on a day he had TAKEN THE CAR WITH HIM USING HIS OWN KEYS so I hid them in case we were broken into.

I was fuming. He had the car and if we were broken into I think car keys for a car that wasn't there would have been the least of our problems!

He does it to us all. Now he's always a suspect and it's his own fault.

Now I have to say to him "I have left that there, for this reason and for this long, please don't move it. If you have to move it please tell me"

He's good at looking though and generally knows where his stuff always is.

Namechange2020onceagain · 21/08/2020 17:08

@SoupDragon

We call it Man Searching. Sung to the tune of Jive Talkin' by the Bee Gees.
😂😂😂

Man Searching
It must be in disguise
Man searching
He’s thinks you’re telling lies
Man searching
He’s really no good

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 21/08/2020 19:51

That’s the difference between him and me, I would have stupidly started to look for the thing for him, doesn’t cross his mind to try. Yes I realised this too. So I adopted his approach of shrugging and saying dunno and carrying on with whatever I was doing. It's tremendously liberating - I highly recommend it.

Dh couldnt find his driving license and we have to have it on us when driving. So he asked me to drive him to the citizen service so he could order another. He couldnt find it anywhere and had emptied the whole car. Except I got in looked down at the handbrake and saw it standing between the seat and the middle bump where the handbrake is.

I love my husband, but ...

LittleDoritt · 21/08/2020 22:20

There is no point in me trying to help DH find his stuff as he "keeps things safe" in the most random places and then promptly forgets all about them. We nearly missed a holiday abroad once as he couldn't find his passport. We ripped the house to pieces and after about three days and many many tears we found it inside a Dvd of King Lear.

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/08/2020 22:22

I've lost my virginity if anyone can help me get it back as I really miss it.

Last seen in 1989 on a camping weekend in the East Midlands.

Original poster
Goslowlysideways · 24/08/2020 21:28

@PyongyangKipperbang I can find most things but I’m not a miracle worker.

OP posts:
Lowprofilename · 24/08/2020 21:44

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

PyongyangKipperbang · 24/08/2020 22:46

[quote Goslowlysideways]@PyongyangKipperbang I can find most things but I’m not a miracle worker.[/quote]
Worth a try.

If MN can't locate it then it really is gone for good. Sad

Deathraystare · 25/08/2020 19:28

Well, these men are lucky they have a SOMEONE to blame! I can only blame myself and it makes me just as cross!

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