Talking to deceased relatives

[PardonMeAreYouAaronBurr]

I’m not contacting the dead

It’s my dads birthday today, he passed away 6 years ago. I went up to his grave this morning to take some flowers. I was telling him about a new boyfriend I’ve recently starting seeing and got this feeling of immense calm come over me. Not felt anything like it before. I was telling my friend when I got back, she’d phoned to check how I was and she thought I was really odd to talk to my dad about things going on in my life still. I’ve always liked feeling that he’s still part of things, am I odd to want to talk to him still?

Also realise that the feeling of calm was probably due to me talking things through with myself, so not reading much into that.

Not odd at all, I talk to mine all the time. If it brings you comfort then you should do it, and I think your friend was being a little insensitive and judgement to say otherwise.

I think your friend maybe hasn’t lost anyone close, am l right? So maybe she doesn’t know the level of empathy needed. At least she was a good enough friend to ring and see you were ok.

I see people wittering away at grave sides, sometimes l can talk for ages, sometimes it’s just checking in, sometimes it makes me think of the advice that would of been given. At the end of the day you are doing it for you so it really doesn’t matter what your friend says.

Happy birthday to your dad.

It’s not something I would do I don’t think, but I don’t think it’s odd. I think it’s nice that you have that feeling of peace and closeness still.

I visit my daughter's grave and talk to her about what's going on in my life. I don't think it's odd. Am I just going to stand there in silence or just tell her I love her and miss her every time I see her and nothing else?