Do you have 'life goals'?

[Echobelly]

Thinking about this in response to a tweet I saw that suggested someone on his 40th birthday ought to write a list of goals to achieve by his 50th birthday and see how much he'd done in 10 years time.

I hate the idea of that kind of thing! Never had 'I will achieve X' type goals, always seemed really oppressive to me. I'm just not 'goal oriented'.

I had a general idea I'd like to have a family, and I have that. That I wanted a job I enjoyed and that didn't rule my life, so I had time for other things, and I have that. So I'm not really interested in Writing That Novel or Running a Marathon or anything like that. What are other people's feelings about this?

Usually written by control freaks, and promoted by scary HR people.

I’m with you op.

My boyfriend is the opposite. Goal oriented to the extreme. I think a lot of his unhappiness comes from a sense that he’s not where he should be by now in life

Then again I love that he’s a dreamer and he’s encouraged me to have dreams too

Goals don't have to be big lofty ideals about making a million or writing a best selling novel. They can be things like spending more time with your kids, or being more kind to yourself, or listening to your favourite music more often.

I think lots of people fall into a trap of judging the success of their lives by other people's standards (money, car, etc) without thinking about what they really want. I've never had very specific life goals planned out but as I get older I realise there are things I want and things I don't want, and it's helpful to think about how I might get there.

I'm in my early 40s now and over the last year have developed a general sort of plan for the next 10-15 years. Life passes quickly and I don't want to realise ten years have gone without me doing anything to make myself happy or make my life better just because I couldn't think of any ideas.

I agree with you OP.

However funnily enough I was talking to my niece just yesterday and she said she'd made a set of goals she wants to achieve by 40 (currently 28). She's the first to admit she's prone to aimless drifting through life and thinks having something to aim for over a long timescale might help keep her a bit more focused. I just hope she doesn't pin TOO much on it and end up disappointed if things don't work out. A lot can change over 12 years!

Mine is to be able to comfortably afford to do my weekly food shop in Waitrose every week.
Also to be able to go on holiday each year.

Good point @SexyGiraffe - I mean, one could maybe go for 'Go on holiday to Crete', or other nice thing like that!

Exactly - my New Year's resolution this year was to get my nails done more often. Then Covid happened, so I'm not doing so well on that one

Yes, But this is a recent development. I was a fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal previously.
I've written down what things I want and I do at least one thing every day towards them. Might not be a big, time consuming effort, But something every day.

I had goals, sort of, I mean I didn't think of them as goals but others might. Anyway, I achieved them so now I don't have goals, I have contentment. FWIW they were education, job, partner, home & lifestyle ideals.

I have a list of countries that I'd like to visit before I die but that's the extent of it. I was a single mum by age 23 which wasn't a life goal so I gave up "planning!"

I spose I make one year, 5 year and 10 year plans.

They are not edicts passed down - I try to think of things I like or would like to have in the future - I think of them as gifts to my future self. I'm very lazy and if I don't plan to do things I will just lie on the sofa almost indefinitely. My year plans are things like "walk up the hill once a week" "complete one piece of art a month" or "visit [a beloved family member]" . My longer year plans are usually more financial based so involve doing things like setting up savings accounts or reviewing where I am spending my money.

I feel like most people need to decide when to buy a house and make some prior plans to do so, for example? It's a big outlay to just do on a whim.

Work part-time.
Travel a lot.
Read many books.

pretty much sums it up. In normal times I do all of those things.