7 year old repeatedly naughty all the time

[MummyEm91]

I’m done with parenting, I never thought things would get to this but I genuinely feel like I’m done.

My 7 year old daughter has driven me to tears nearly everyday for the past 5 years her behaviour is out of control. She is sneaky, rude, she screams, she stomps, she throws things, she steals, she destroys her toys, she never goes to sleep, she creeps around the house when I’m asleep. You name it she’s probably done it and I actually hate her every time she does something wrong and the negatives are out weighing the positives.

I’m a single parent have been since she was born, she’s never known her birth dad I had a partner for 2 years when she was 5 and have recently start seeing someone new, but she’s only been brought up by myself and my parents.

I need some serious help and reassurance that it won’t be like this forever.

I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m sure you are an amazing mum 💜 it’s the hardest job in the world and again, I’m sure you’re doing great.

Have you tried speaking to your GP or the school? They might be able to offer you and your daughter some sort of assistance.

The school was going to test for ADHD before lockdown but it never happened obviously and my GP is only doing phone consultations at the moment

Hi OP

Jus wanted to say you aren’t alone with this! I am also a single parent to two DC. Eldest is 8 and in the last year has been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety.

He sounds very like your DD - it is very, very hard and also hard for others to truly understand what it is like, particularly when you are a single parent with a really challenging child. It’s only because I also have my youngest who is totally different that I didn’t completely despair and think it must be solely me.

I would say I have had to fight hard with the school to get DS some support and he also sees an educational psychologist which has helped a bit. So it is definitely worth pushing forwards with an assessment. You also might want to look to see if there are any groups near you ( although must admit I haven’t!). I also think maybe he is getting more able to control his emotions as he gets older.

He can sometimes be so lovely but also most of the time it is just very hard work. I know how heartbreaking and miserable it can make life. So I guess just wanted to say you aren’t alone.

Have you considered parenting classes and home start for advice and support? I wish you well

The first thing I will do is push for an assessment when back at school. I just need some new strategies to help myself with my own frustration and my daughters I feel like I’ve exhausted all the standard ones.

Strategies I try - but don’t always succeed at - are ones such as trying to acknowledge verbally to DS how he is feeling, which does sometimes work ( but I have to keep doing it). Sometimes - and I don’t know if your DD does this - he just gets into a place where it’s as if he wants to provoke a reaction from me. Then i do try not to react and walk away. Other times I’ve found removing him from the situation ( although difficult as can risk descending into physicality) does help - partic if he then does something to focus himself after he has burnt out.

One of the other things with DS has been trying to get better at recognising what triggers him - often with him if something ‘new’ is coming up or his schedule is changing his behaviour will escalate. Sometimes just knowing that can help me deal with it a bit.

There are some good books on ADHD. I have found understanding it more has also helped me deal with my frustration as well. I will see if I can find the titles.

The work my DS has done with his Ed psych on reflecting on his behaviour and learning to recognise and identify it and different strategies he can use is the thing that has made the biggest difference. It seems to allow him to calm down more quickly generally.